Age limits for the state of midlife crisis. Age periodization and age crises

3. Factors for resolving the crisis

Bibliography

1. General psychological characteristics of the mid-life period

In psychology, the period of middle adulthood is usually called the period in a person’s life from 35 to 45 years. The boundaries of this age period are not fixed. Some researchers consider both 30 and 50-year-olds to be middle age.

At 40-50 years of life, a person finds himself in conditions that are psychologically significantly different from the previous ones. By this time, quite a lot of life and professional experience has already been accumulated, the children have grown up, and relationships with them have acquired a qualitatively new character, the parents have grown old and they need help. Natural physiological changes begin to occur in the human body, to which he also has to adapt: ​​vision deteriorates, reactions slow down, sexual potency in men weakens, women experience menopause, which many of them endure physically and mentally with extreme difficulty. Many people begin to develop health problems.

There is a relative decrease in the characteristics of psychophysical functions. However, this does not in any way affect the functioning of a person’s cognitive sphere, does not reduce his performance, allowing him to maintain labor and creative activity.

Therefore, contrary to expectations of a decline in intellectual development after it reaches its peak during adolescence, the development of certain human abilities continues throughout middle age.

Fluid intelligence reaches its maximum development in adolescence, but in middle adulthood its indicators decline. Maximum development of crystallized intelligence becomes possible only upon reaching middle adulthood.

The intensity of the involution of a person’s intellectual functions depends on two factors: talent and education, which resist aging, inhibiting the involutionary process.

Features of a person’s intellectual development and indicators of his intellectual capabilities largely depend on the personal characteristics of a person, his life attitudes, plans and life values.

The main feature of this age can be defined as a person’s achievement of a state of wisdom. During this period of life, a person has extensive factual and procedural knowledge, the ability to evaluate events and information in a broader context, and the ability to cope with uncertainty. Despite the fact that due to biological changes occurring in the human body during middle adulthood, the speed and accuracy of information processing decreases, the ability to use information remains the same. Moreover, although cognitive processes in a middle-aged person may proceed more slowly than in a young person, the efficiency of his thinking is higher.

Thus, despite the decline in psychophysical functions, middle adulthood is probably one of the most productive periods in human creativity.

The development of a person’s affective sphere at this age is uneven.

This age can be a period for a person to flourish in his family life, career or creative abilities. But at the same time, he increasingly begins to think that he is mortal and that his time is running out.

One of the main features of the period of middle adulthood is the extreme subjectivity of a person when assessing his age.

This period of a person's life has an extremely high potential for stress, and people often experience depression and feelings of loneliness.

middle age crisis psychological

During middle adulthood, the personality's self-concept is enriched with new self-images, taking into account constantly changing situational relationships and variations in self-esteem, and determines all interactions. The essence of the self-concept becomes self-actualization within the limits of moral rules and personal values.

The leading type of activity in middle adulthood can be called work, successful professional activity that ensures self-actualization of the individual.

2. Characteristics of a midlife crisis

As K. Jung believed, the closer the middle of life, the stronger it seems to a person that the right ideals and principles of behavior have been found. However, too often social affirmation occurs at the expense of loss of personality integrity, hypertrophied development of one or another aspect of it. In addition, many try to transfer the psychology of the youth phase over the threshold of maturity. Therefore, at the age of 35-40, depression and certain neurotic disorders become more frequent, which indicate the onset of a crisis. According to Jung, the essence of this crisis is a person’s meeting with his unconscious. But in order for a person to meet his unconscious, he must make a transition from an extensive position to an intensive one, from the desire to expand and conquer living space - to focusing on his self. Then the second half of life will serve to achieve wisdom, the culmination of creativity, and not neurosis and despair.

Similar views on the essence of the “midlife” crisis were expressed by B. Livehud. He called the age of 30-45 years a kind of point of diverging paths. One of the ways is the gradual mental involution of a person in accordance with his physical involution. The other is the continuation of psychic evolution despite physical involution. Following the first or second path is determined by the degree of development of the spiritual principle in it. Therefore, the result of the crisis should be a person’s turning to his spiritual development, and then, on the other side of the crisis, he will continue to develop intensively, drawing strength from a spiritual source. Otherwise, he becomes “by the mid-fifties a tragic person, feeling sadness for the good old days, feeling a threat to himself in everything new.”

E. Erikson attached great importance to the midlife crisis. He called the age of 30-40 years the “decade of fatality”, the main problems of which are the decrease in physical strength, vital energy and a decrease in sexual attractiveness. By this age, as a rule, there is an awareness of the discrepancy between a person’s dreams, life goals and his real situation. And if a twenty-year-old person is considered as promising, then forty years is the time for the fulfillment of promises once made. Successful resolution of the crisis, according to Erikson, leads to the formation of a person’s generativity (productivity, restlessness), which includes a person’s desire for growth, concern for the next generation and his own contribution to the development of life on Earth. Otherwise, stagnation is formed, which can be accompanied by a feeling of devastation and regression.

M. Peck pays special attention to the painfulness of the transition from one life stage to another. He sees the reason for this in the difficulty of parting with cherished ideas, habitual methods of work, and angles from which one is accustomed to look at the world. Many people, according to Peck, are unwilling or unable to endure the mental pain associated with the process of giving up something they have outgrown. Therefore, they cling to old patterns of thinking and behavior, refusing to resolve the crisis.

Emotional processes accompanying the midlife crisis. First of all, a crisis is characterized by depressive experiences: a fairly persistent decrease in mood, a negative perception of the current situation. At the same time, a person is not happy even with the objectively good things that actually exist.

The main feeling is tiredness, tiredness from everything - family, work and even children. Moreover, most often the real life situation does not cause fatigue. Therefore, we can say that this is emotional fatigue, although often the person himself considers it physical.

In addition, people feel a decrease in interest or pleasure in all events, apathy. Sometimes a person may feel a systematic lack or decrease in energy, so that he has to force himself to go to work or do household chores. There are often bitter regrets about one's own worthlessness and helplessness.

A special place is occupied by experiences associated with the perception of the past, present and future. A focus on the past appears. Youth seems to be filled with joy and pleasure, unlike the present. Sometimes there is a desire to return to youth, to live life again, without repeating the mistakes made. In some people, you may notice a bias between the perception of the past and the future. They perceive the future as shorter and less filled with significant events than the past. A subjective perception of the completeness of life, the proximity of its end, arises.

A special place in depressive experiences is occupied by anxiety about one’s future, which is often masked by anxiety for children. Sometimes anxiety becomes so strong that people completely stop making plans for the future and think only about the present.

Relationships in the family are changing. Increased irritability and conflict. Thinking about one’s own relevance becomes frequent, which can be accompanied by reproaches towards loved ones and causing them to feel guilty. Sometimes there is a fear of your own children growing up, because in connection with this you lose the feeling of your own need.

Around this age, the results of life are calculated and compared with one’s own dreams and plans, on the one hand, and generally accepted stereotypes of achievements, on the other. A woman is in a hurry to give birth to a child, if she has not done so earlier. A man is trying to achieve the desired professional growth. Time begins to be felt differently, its pace subjectively accelerates, which is why the fear of not being on time is quite common. The first regrets may appear that you should have built your life completely differently.

Declining physical strength and attractiveness is one of the many problems that a person faces during the midlife crisis and beyond. For those who relied on their physical attributes when they were younger, middle age can be a period of severe depression. But many people find new advantages in knowledge that accumulates life experience; they gain wisdom.

The second major issue of midlife is sexuality. The average person exhibits some variation in interests, abilities, and opportunities, especially as children grow older. Many people are amazed at how big a role sexuality played in their relationships when they were younger. On the other hand, in fiction there are many examples of how a middle-aged man or woman continues to consider every person of the opposite sex as a potential sexual partner, interacting with him only in one dimension of “repulsion attraction”, and people of the same sex are considered as “ rivals." In more successful cases of reaching maturity, other people are accepted as individuals, as potential friends. “Socialization” replaces “sexualization” in relationships with people, and these relationships often acquire “that depth of understanding that the previous, more self-centered sexual attitude blocked to a certain extent.”

Consent in midlife requires considerable flexibility. One important type of flexibility involves "the ability to vary emotional investment from person to person, and from activity to activity." Emotional flexibility is necessary at any age, of course, but in middle age it becomes especially important as parents die and children grow up and leave home. The inability to emotionally respond to new people and new activities leads to the stagnation that Erikson wrote about.

Another type of flexibility that is also necessary for successfully achieving maturity is “spiritual flexibility.” Among people of mature age there is a tendency towards increasing rigidity in all views and actions, towards making their minds closed to new ideas. This mental rigidity must be overcome or it will develop into intolerance or bigotry. In addition, rigid attitudes lead to mistakes and an inability to perceive creative solutions to problems.

Stabilization. Successful resolution of a midlife crisis usually involves a reformulation of goals within the framework of a more realistic and restrained point of view and an awareness of the limited time of every person's life. Spouses, friends and children become increasingly important, and the self is increasingly deprived of its exclusive position. There is an increasing tendency to be content with what we have and to think less about things that we will never be able to achieve. There is a clear tendency to feel one's own situation is quite decent. All these changes mark the next stage of personality development, a period of “new stability.”

For many, the process of renewal that begins when they confront their illusions and physical decline ultimately leads them to a calmer, even happier life. After 50, health problems become more pressing and there is a growing awareness that “time is running out.” Apart from major economic and disease problems, the 50s of a person's life can be said to continue the new forms of stability that were achieved during the previous decade.

Factors making it difficult to resolve the crisis:

projection of a crisis by a person onto his environment, and not onto himself;

fear of change.

Factors contributing to a favorable resolution of the crisis. A factor that facilitates a successful resolution of a crisis is the ability to be happy, i.e. find joy and enjoy the current situation. As a rule, the main sources of happiness are relationships of closeness, as well as the opportunity to create. At the same time, creativity can manifest itself both in the family and in the professional sphere.

An important factor in successfully resolving a crisis is also the ability to maintain a balance between looking to the future and living in the present. This ability is formed in youth when resolving the conflict between the need to think about the future and the desire to enjoy the present. Although, of course, during subsequent life, under the influence of certain circumstances, it can be disrupted or, conversely, formed.

According to D. Levinson, the solution to a crisis usually occurs through the recognition of life’s limitations and needs, both in the professional and family spheres. This usually leads to increased self-discipline, organization, and concentration of efforts around the desired changes. Many are turning to improving their education level. Nowadays, obtaining a second higher education is becoming common. Thus, developing a professional career remains a major challenge as you enter your 30s. However, there is an opinion that this is typical only for men. Women often switch their interest from achieving professional success to obtaining satisfaction from personal, including family relationships.

Modern Russia is characterized by such an option to avoid resolving the crisis as turning to religion. Many people turn to religion, realizing not a religious need, but a desire to fill loneliness, receive support, consolation, escape responsibility, or solve some other non-religious problems.

In conclusion of the discussion of the problem of the midlife crisis, it must be emphasized that experiencing it enriches a person and is a necessary stage of development in adulthood.

Bibliography

1. Kulagina, I.Yu. Age-related psychology. - M., 2004.

Malkina-Pykh, I.G. Age crises. - M., 2004.

Mukhina, V.S. Age-related psychology. - M.: Academy, 1999.

Psychology of maturity. Textbook on developmental psychology / edited by D.Ya. Raigorodsky. - Samara: Publishing House BAKHRAKH, 2003. - 768 p.

Human psychology from birth to death / ed. A.A. Reana. - St. Petersburg: Prime-Eurosign, 2006. - 651 p.

In the middle of life, people often reconsider their lives, evaluate their goals and achievements. Often this kind of assessment leads to the so-called midlife crisis.
Probably everyone has had the opportunity to witness the following human reincarnations. An accomplished, respectable man in full bloom of strength and potential suddenly leaves a prestigious job, leaves a prosperous family, leaves somewhere unknown, or simply falls into a prolonged depression. His steps, at first glance, seem somehow strange and illogical. The family abandoned by him is completely confused, his friends are unable to understand and comprehend what happened. Often, the logic and motivation of such actions are not always able to be understood and clearly explained by the hero of these events. To some extent, those who themselves have gone through something similar can understand it.
The internal state of a man who has crossed the 30-35 year mark can be characterized by the quote “Having completed half my earthly life, I found myself in a dark forest...” (“The Divine Comedy” by Dante). This condition is usually called a “midlife crisis.”
The famous artist Gauguin was originally a successful stockbroker, happy husband and father of five children. At the age of 36, he left his family, went to Paris to paint and eventually become one of the greatest artists of his time. This is what an absolute midlife crisis looks like - out of the blue, it would seem for no reason to completely change the existing way of life, change profession, city, country, get divorced or married. In a less acute form, the crisis manifests itself in original or extreme hobbies, adultery, and tours to exotic countries.
A series of crises awaits a person from birth to old age. The first is the neonatal period, adaptation to new conditions. Then the crisis of the first year - the child masters speech and walking upright. The crisis of three years - the baby realizes himself as an independent person and longs for fulfillment. The crisis of seven years - the child learns to study, achieve distant goals, and restrain himself. Puberty is an explosion of hormones, awareness of one’s own sexuality. Growing up, beginning an independent life. Marriage, regular intimate life and parenthood with their annual milestones. The notorious midlife crisis, de facto divided into two - the crisis of thirty years and the crisis of forty-five, also known as the empty nest syndrome. This is one of the most dramatic periods in the life of an adult. Perhaps the midlife crisis is the most serious and significant of those that we go through during our lives. In terms of the intensity of experiences and the power of impact on a person, it is comparable to that of a teenager. And by the way, both crises have something in common with each other not only in this regard. What follows is the crisis of retirement and the “end” of active creative life. And the crisis of old age, when the body’s capabilities weaken completely.
The causes of each crisis are complex, including changes in hormonal balance, changes in social roles, and shifts in life values ​​and guidelines.

Description of the problem

The peculiarity of a midlife crisis is the awareness of the transience of time. First, a man needs to think about material well-being, starting a family, and building a career. Gradually, all these issues are resolved, often successfully, but the person still has energy and strength for something else. Just for what? At the same time, he is well aware that his youth is gone and cannot be returned. It is at this moment that a person begins to think about eternal topics: Why am I living? Have I achieved everything in life or am I capable of more? And do I really need everything that I have achieved? It also happens that the answers to the questions you ask yourself cause dissatisfaction. During this period, against the backdrop of intense experiences, a person’s values ​​are reassessed; he can change his plans or completely change his worldview.

“Midlife crisis,” as a concept, is expressed in a physiological and psychological imbalance in which problems that unexpectedly fall on the shoulders of a man who is at the highest stage of development of his strengths and abilities put him in a dead end. In such a state, a person simply cannot sensibly assess his own situation.

A midlife crisis is an existential crisis when we become aware of our own existence. It turns out to be finite, and questions of death suddenly begin to bother us. We ask ourselves: how much time do we have left and what do I want to accomplish? Being requires meaning in order to get rid of the feeling of uselessness and find one’s place in this world (one’s own irrelevance is a feeling often mentioned during a crisis).

Some authors compare the midlife crisis with the teenage crisis due to its philosophical basis, the tasks of comprehension and self-determination, and the social context. If teenagers define themselves in relation to the worldview, rules and traditions of their parents, then the midlife crisis suggests self-determination in relation to the rules and traditions of society. We can be an illustration of the successful life of a respectable member of society, but inside we feel like the very same character in someone else’s film.

The crisis itself is characterized as a turning point, as a result of which unpredictable and problematic situations may arise. One gets the feeling that much more time has been lived than is left. This leads to a rethinking of one's life position.

A midlife crisis does not choose victims. These can be either successful family people with established careers and material income, or single, low-income men.

The feeling of internal distress - a crisis - can be experienced so catastrophically, can be so unbearable that a person tries to escape from it in the most literal sense of the word. Activity increases, risky and impulsive actions are performed - this is especially typical for men. Men act, try to react to their experiences, do something to get rid of them. By the way, perhaps this is why the midlife crisis is so fond of being attributed exclusively to men: everything is in plain sight.

It seems to a man that life is passing by, the best years are behind him, but the result is either not visible or is not pleasing. And the search for thrills begins. The easiest way is to prove your masculine attractiveness. The second most important is a change of job or type of activity.

Due to the feeling of approaching old age and unfulfilled plans, people often lose heart and do not know how to overcome despondency. People begin to rush around, fill their lives with something vain, adding other problems to themselves, and make mistakes. This leads to poor health, depression, loneliness, and this condition can last for a long time.

According to statistics, the midlife crisis accounts for the largest number of cases of divorce, nervous breakdowns, and suicide.

Sometimes a midlife crisis leads representatives of the stronger sex to new successes and achievements, career growth, a return to faith, and full self-realization. Sometimes it leads to divorce, alcoholism, joining sects and spiritual quests. Sometimes it goes almost unnoticed, resulting in the construction of a summer house or the purchase of a new car. The main thing is to realize what is happening in time and make the correct diagnosis.

Signs of a midlife crisis

What is characteristic of a midlife crisis? Most likely, it can be suspected by the following manifestations:

• there is a need to comprehend your life. Answer the questions: why am I here? Where am I going? What and who do I live for?
• there is a “reconciliation” of the current state of affairs in life with how it was once thought to be ideal: am I where I dreamed? Am I doing what I once wanted?
• one's own achievements are critically assessed: what have I achieved? Is this important to me? Where to move next and what to achieve?
• The question arises to yourself: am I happy?

In essence, this is a period of meeting with yourself - a very intimate meeting that requires honesty and sincerity, because often there are no clear answers to the questions that arise. This is the time of doubt. And the nature of these doubts is unclear and can be so frightening that you try not to pay attention to them.

This is the discovery of the fact that the further you go, the more you find yourself in your own hands. And although half of this life is already behind us, there is still enough time ahead to go where you truly want, and to be happy as you once dreamed before... But what do you want?.. Such a simple question may also not be answered be the answer. Only internal emptiness suggests that the way things were before these experiences is no longer satisfactory.

Many people mention the feeling that appears on the eve of a crisis, as if they are not living, but playing life according to someone else’s scenario. Indeed, one of the tasks of a crisis is to appropriate one’s true life, needs and desires. Fear can also arise here, because we are also talking about confrontation with loved ones who have their own plans for us, and they may have little to do with our desires.

Fatigue, sadness, deep melancholy, exacerbation of negative emotions, fears - all this also accompanies a crisis. This includes a confrontation with one’s biological age, physiological changes in the body associated with the onset of aging.

It is quite easy to determine the beginning of a crisis. It manifests itself in behavior and appearance: a man is often in a bad mood upon returning home, he becomes silent, does not want to talk, and sometimes there are outbursts of aggression. The inability to sleep, irritability, mood swings, constant fatigue and weakness will be a man’s companions during this period. It is at this moment that, more than ever, he desires changes in life, a shake-up, and many during this period of their lives indulge, as they say, in all serious ways. A man has a burning desire to become someone he never had the chance to become in life. Often he begins to look at young ladies, change his wardrobe to trendy clothes, and use youth slang in conversation. During this period, the wife becomes an irritating factor; the man takes out his anger and aggression on her, constantly reproaches her and shows her his dissatisfaction, often in a rude manner, even to the point of assault.

Here are some of the main signs of a midlife crisis:

• Increased aggressiveness and irritability;
• The desire to quit a good job and the realization that you cannot afford it;
• Attempts to change your appearance as quickly as possible;
• Searching for former partners on social networks;
• The realization that the mortgage and other loans will have to be repaid for another 20 years;
• Frequent thoughts about death and what awaits you after it;
• Concerns that you have achieved less in your professional career than your parents;
• The hangover after gatherings with friends becomes more and more noticeable and lasts more than a day;
• Awkward flirting with people your children's age;
• Searching for and finding various diseases;
• The emergence of a new hobby, often extreme;
• Dreams of quitting your job and buying your own restaurant or pub;
• Attempts to hide your age from others;
• An affair on the side, or even a divorce;
• Moving away from old friends and searching for new, younger ones;
• You start listening to your most favorite songs on radio “Retro”;
• Frequent insomnia.

Often a crisis is accompanied by depression, a feeling of depression, and emptiness. A man feels like he is trapped in a career or marriage. Stability, material and family well-being achieved by this age suddenly lose their significance. A feeling of unfairness of life appears, the man is sure that he deserves more. He is overwhelmed by a feeling of dissatisfaction and a desire for something unknown. Work is perceived as routine, marital relationships have lost their former passion, children prefer to live their own lives, and the circle of friendly communication has narrowed over the years, and it itself has acquired a tinge of monotony.

It should be noted that, unlike professional or creative crises, here, from the point of view of others, problems arise practically “out of nowhere.” During a midlife crisis, a man often changes his circle of reference persons, value orientations, tastes and preferences. The person going through a crisis becomes unpredictable even for himself. The people around do not understand what is happening: it seems to them that there is a completely different person in front of them. On the contrary, he believes that everyone around him has changed, and therefore he himself changes his attitude towards them.

What happens to a man in such a state?

Being in a not entirely adequate state, a man can commit actions that are not characteristic of his nature, which he may not expect from himself. About a person experiencing a midlife crisis, we can say that his “roof” has been blown away. In panic, he tries to radically change his own life, falling from one extreme to another. By doing this, he wants to prove not only to himself, but also to others that he is capable of much. During this period, one part of the stronger half of humanity goes into long and deep drinking bouts, others are overtaken by depression, seeing no way out of the situation, many representatives of the stronger sex themselves destroy their families. You never know how a man will behave in a mid-life crisis, what the consequences will be.

It is important to understand and realize that this condition, despite its severity and inevitability, will not last forever. You can calmly survive it if you try to curb your own thoughts and actions, and act not on a whim, but after careful consideration.

Causes of midlife crisis

A considerable part of the “rebellions” of 40-year-olds are nothing more than echoes of unfinished teenage rebellion. The unresolved problems of adolescence, which have “calmed down” for a while and, it would seem, have remained long in the past, are precisely during this period that befall a person again. If at one time a young man was not able to completely free himself from the influence of his parents, to rebel against the way of life imposed by them, then in middle age he suddenly realizes that he still lives and acts by someone else’s rules, and it’s time, as they say, “ sing with your own voice." Hence the natural desire to find yourself, your own path. An understanding and clear realization comes: “it’s already too late for me, I won’t be much anymore...” Those doors (and opportunities) that seemed to be wide open just yesterday began to close, one after another... A midlife crisis is always implies a global and final (up to the transition to maturity, retirement age) reassessment of values, because another name for it is an identity crisis.

However, a midlife crisis also overtakes those who managed to get rid of teenage complexes in time. The following are the main causes of a midlife crisis.

1. The reason is physiological. Natural physiological changes occur; simply put, a person begins to age. As a rule, during this period of a person’s life all his chronic diseases begin to worsen, which significantly weakens the vital functions of the body; appearance changes, strength becomes less, sexual attractiveness decreases. It is psychologically very difficult to accept such changes, especially in a society where the cult of youth and impeccable beauty is promoted. All this causes a person to feel uncertain about the future, nervousness, fatigue and depression appear. Fear appears - “having lost my youth and beauty, I will lose many opportunities and pleasures in life.”

2. The reason is psychological. By middle age, people generally achieve a lot in the professional sphere and achieve a certain social status. And then the man has reasonable questions: What next? Where to go? If this is the top, does that mean now it’s only downhill, “downhill”? Or: How to stay at this peak if young people are already pressing behind you? The “ambitious understudies” have arrived – how much longer can I be competitive? What to do? Change direction? Can I? Is there enough strength? Will I have time? Fear - “if I am not successful, I will lose the love of the people around me, I will become unnecessary and just a loser.”

Midlife crisis - when your boss is younger than you. Most often, at this age, a revaluation of values ​​occurs, a man begins to see the meaning of life in certain life achievements, and if the path in life is chosen incorrectly, then a feeling of dissatisfaction with oneself, one’s abilities and capabilities arises. There is a need to change your life, to start all over again, but here physiology and the realization that you can no longer handle everything intervene. A man begins to worry very acutely that his life plans are at odds with reality. The search for a way out of the current situation begins, and if all attempts are unsuccessful, depression begins.

3. The reason is social. The credo of the stronger sex is to realize yourself. Achieve success, build a house, surpass all rivals. More than anything else, a man fears for his potency - physiological, labor or creative. Most of all, he dreams of giving his all, demonstrating to the world his unique gift and great mission. But duty, honor, obligations to family or society can restrain heroic impulses for quite a long time.

The way a man develops social relationships has a huge impact on his life. First of all, these are family relationships. Usually at this age a person already has a family and children, if everything is fine in the family - a big plus, if not, then again - this is one of the reasons for the crisis. If a person does not have family relationships, does not have friendly relations, or relationships in a team, then the question arises about his failure as a member of society.

The social role of men is changing. At home he turns from a child into a parent, at work from a young specialist into an experienced mentor. Some, alas, have already lost their father or mother by this time; many have parents who are getting old and in need of care and help. However, not everyone is ready for such a radical change of roles, for a situation where they have to rely only on their own strengths, and take full responsibility not only for themselves, but also for other people. Fear appears - “why can’t I be as serene and carefree as before? Will I really now always have to drag around this whole load of problems and worries?!”

In the end, the realization of the transience and finitude of life comes. A person understands that “the world no longer provides credit for his future,” and much is no longer feasible. A midlife crisis occurs when regrets about the past gradually begin to outweigh hopes for the future.

In these circumstances, both a depressive position: “everything is terrible”, “it’s pointless to change anything”, “you have to survive somehow”, threatening self-pity, despair, a feeling of impasse, and “ostrich” optimism: “everything is fine” are equally dangerous. ”, “nothing has changed”, “I’m young”, forcing a person to live in illusions, preventing him from seeing and accepting reality, cutting off the path to development. The revolutionary option is equally dangerous and destructive - through the depreciation of what has been achieved, unjustified risk, a sharp and thoughtless change in everything that surrounds: family, work, place of residence, which most often is nothing more than self-deception. Radical external changes in the absence of internal ones are only an illusion of a solution, because you cannot escape from yourself.

Here are some external factors that can trigger and accelerate this crisis:

1. Debts. We all live in a world of credit, where there is a very strong temptation to live beyond our means. Finding yourself 40 years old, having counted all the mortgages and loans, it is very easy to fall into depression.

2. Death of a loved one. The death of a parent or loved one during a midlife crisis can be very difficult to overcome.

3. Personalities who avoid conflicts. This crisis is especially susceptible to people who constantly try to avoid conflicts in personal relationships, suffer from low self-esteem, problems expressing aggression and are emotionally detached. Those who are accustomed to pleasing their significant other at the expense of their desires and interests will experience this crisis even more difficult.

At what age can a crisis begin?

The crises of adult life are graded differently by different authors, but the midlife crisis, or midlife crisis, is mentioned by almost everyone. This is not about calculating and measuring the middle of life to identify a crisis. It is important that this crisis corresponds to a number of typical experiences, the emergence of certain questions about oneself and about life.

If earlier the midlife crisis “fit” into the age range of 37 – 45 (and continues to be there in European countries and the USA), then at present, in the accelerated pace of life of our society, there is a tendency to “rejuvenate” the lower bar: characteristic of a midlife crisis age, the condition is experienced even by people in their thirties. Thus, the specific time of experiencing a crisis is individual for each person and can greatly depend on the contexts of his life.

A crisis can happen at 30-35 or 40-45 years old, depending on satisfaction with life, work and marriage. An early crisis is disappointment in parental and school scenarios, a temporary rejection of generally accepted norms, a kind of belated teenage rebellion and self-searching. The man seems to be trying again - whether he chose the right profession, built the right house, or married the wrong woman. The late crisis often coincides with the fading of hormonal levels, beginning with menopause. A man feels that life has already reached the middle, potency is weakening, health is failing - and with the last of his strength he tries to feel young again, to spur on fading passions.

Typically, a midlife crisis includes several stages:

• negation
• depression
• anger
• accepting and overcoming the crisis.

Overcoming the crisis

The following are fairly general recommendations that psychologists give for overcoming a midlife crisis. These recommendations are quite reasonable, and it is quite possible that they will help someone. Although the anti-crisis session of Backmology is not based on their use.

A midlife crisis is a freezing of the life program, and overcoming it is a reboot. A midlife crisis is the time when it's time to learn to listen to yourself, accept yourself and trust yourself.

Life is always the way we imagine it. Life does not end at the age of forty; from that moment on, all the fun just begins. This is a wonderful age! It's harvest time! The midlife crisis should become a springboard for new joys and new discoveries. A person has the right and privilege to build his life the way he wants.

The main thing is to survive the crisis, to conduct a kind of life audit, because if you push this problem aside and do not solve it, then at the end of your life you may be overtaken by the most terrible crisis destined for a person - the crisis of the end of life. Think about why some old people are smiling, wise, kind, while others are angry, critical, hating everyone and everything? The fact is that the former accepted their life, but the latter did not, because they lived a life imposed, someone else’s, and this is impossible to accept. After all, accepting your life path means accepting yourself as you were and are, and your psychological environment, and much more. And if at the end of life it is practically impossible to change anything, then in the middle of life there is always such an opportunity. Therefore, this is your main life chance, which is important to use.

Successfully overcoming a midlife crisis involves accepting your true age and taking responsibility for your life. A reassessment of values ​​occurs, and one’s true needs and desires are revealed. Relationships change, we change in relationships. It is possible that some people will disappear from our lives, and new ones will appear. Sometimes we have to accept the fact that some things cannot be changed, that the consequences of other actions will accompany us for the rest of our lives. Sometimes it can be very sad, but it is this experience that enriches us with hope that the next part of life can be lived with more awareness and joy.

In order for the crisis not to turn into a depression, but to become a springboard for changes and renewals in life, you should:

• do not deny yourself feelings of internal ill-being: you are not going crazy, nothing bad is happening to you - it’s just your inner voice, your intuition, your psyche (in the end, call it whatever you want) asking you to finally pay attention to yourself for yourself, for your life;
• accept incoming emotions as a way to find out what exactly is happening to you, where the areas of internal and external trouble are located. There is no need to suppress sadness, anger, or fear, considering them inappropriate emotions. They are your path to change.

• Stop looking for symptoms of various diseases. Not every cold is the beginning of lung cancer;
• Don't have an affair on the side. Even if the partner allowed himself to do it. A young graduate will not return you to your former youth, but it can destroy your marriage. Think about how stupid you look to others;
• Go out to people more often. Force yourself to go out to a restaurant with your spouse at least once a week, or watch football with friends;
• Don't project your problems and unfulfilled dreams onto your children. Stop forcing your son to go to music school and your daughter to take additional math classes on weekends. This will not change anything in your life, but you are really taking away childhood and their own interests from children;
• Don't buy yourself "middle-aged" toys. You are already a serious and mature person. Think about how stupid you will look in a red foreign car, or in a green Kawasaki, after which you will have to assemble yours piece by piece;
• Turn off your phones all weekend. Nothing will happen if you read spam and the next shocking news from the Kremlin or Ukraine. But your family will have a chance to communicate with you and have fun, and not constantly watch you ignore them;
• Seek support from a loved one with whom you can feel safe and share your concerns. Contact a specialist if your condition feels critical.

Don't lie and don't be afraid. Conduct a frank and thorough audit of your life views, attitudes, rules and values. Answer the questions very honestly: what goals do I want to achieve? Are these my goals or someone else's? What feelings am I experiencing now? How do I want to feel tomorrow, in a year? Does my current life scenario suit me? What do I want and can change in this scenario? What am I dreaming about? What's stopping me from achieving my dream?

Love yourself. Accept yourself as you are, with all your shortcomings and weaknesses. Say nice things to yourself, smile at yourself. Train your body and spirit. Take care of yourself: good nutrition, good sleep, body care. Believe in yourself. “But know that those who manage to believe in themselves win the fight.” Appreciate and love your surroundings - family, colleagues, friends and just random guests on your life path. Your love and kindness given to people will return to you a hundredfold.

Live here and now. Returning to the past occasionally and for a short time with the main goal of searching for one’s resources and experiencing one’s own achievements and victories. Don’t look for the mistakes of today’s situation in the past and don’t live in the past. “Whoever remains in the past has no present.” Thoughts about the future should not overshadow the joy of the present. “Tomorrow will take care of itself.” Down with drafts! Every day of yours should be a clean day.

You must try to learn to enjoy every moment, enjoy every event in life and just simple things. Then everything in life will become much easier.

The midlife crisis can indeed become a springboard for a new takeoff, the so-called second peak of vital activity. He contributed to the development of many great people.

However, it is not necessary to radically change your life - you can continue to follow the beaten path. But at the same time, evaluate the years you have lived, understand what you need and what you don’t, and, most importantly, accept your previous path, but consciously, and continue to increase quantitatively and qualitatively what has been achieved. Strive not only to add years to life, but also life to years.

It all depends on how ready a person is to understand and accept his problems, to honestly face reality, no matter how frightening it may be, whether he is capable of change - both in life and in himself - and, most importantly, whether he is ready to invest into these changes. If a person does not draw any conclusions during a crisis, it means that he is not growing up.

Here are some tips for those who are friends with the proverb “a healthy mind in a healthy body.”

1. Attention and care for your body will allow you to maintain strength longer and treat your body with tender reverence, respect it and be proud of it. It is necessary to take measures to slow down the aging process of the body and improve physical condition. This, of course, is an active lifestyle and giving up bad habits. Playing sports, no matter how trivial it may sound, really helps to cope with thoughts about one’s inadequacy and approaching old age. Every day, by increasing the load on your body, you will rejoice at your small victories, and the thought “I can!” will push you to further achievements.

2. If you can give up smoking, then a feeling of pride in yourself will settle in your heart for a long time. First of all, your desire and willpower are capable of taking such a decisive step; in some situations, reflexology and psychotherapy may be useful.

If you don’t suffer from bad habits and don’t need to fight them, you can try to master in life what you dreamed of, but always put off until later or simply didn’t dare. For each person this is something different, for example, learning to drive a car or skate, or jump with a parachute. This should greatly invigorate you and increase your credibility in your eyes.

3. We must realize once and for all that there is only one life, there will be no other, and man is the creator of his own happiness. Therefore, we pull ourselves together and begin to create, no matter how hard it may be.

Prevention is the most effective and obvious. It is important to strive to maintain balance in your life, not to concentrate on the problems of illness and approaching old age, but to approach it fully armed - hardened and able to fight. It is very important to take care of yourself and the quality of your life, and then all sorts of depressions and crises will bypass you. And if they do appear, you will be ready for it.

Be happy, learn to enjoy what you do and give pleasure to those who are dear to you! Ultimately, it's not the years in your life that matter, but the life in your years. (Abraham Lincoln)

Backmology approach

The information that a person puts into his subconscious, the images that he inspires in himself, will certainly play an important role in determining the result of any of his undertakings. A mind programmed to fail will inevitably fail. A person programmed to achieve will show high results. Thus, all great athletes know that combining the efforts of mind and body is a key factor in achieving the highest results. Sports commentators call this state the achievement of the highest form.

However, when faced with a stronger opponent, after a series of failures, or constant overexertion, a person often “breaks down.” Psychological imbalance does not appear out of nowhere. It is always preceded by a series of stresses suffered - clearly felt or implicit.

A midlife crisis is a breakdown that occurs as a result of natural fatigue; it is associated with haphazardly accumulated experience against the backdrop of the absence of a well-thought-out goal-setting strategy. For a long time, a person set goals for himself and achieved them at any cost, without commensurate with his deepest desires, capabilities and prospects for further development. This probably happened under the severe influence of the environment (parents, friends, idols and mentors, stereotypes of the cult of success, etc.), as well as other circumstances, but the person himself is responsible for the breakdown that occurred to him, since he did not show a proper critical attitude towards factors guiding his behavior, did not assess his own strengths and the possible consequences of his behavior. In Bekmology, this situation is interpreted as a person’s lack of psychocontrol.

Under psychocontrolling in Bekmology we understand human activity aimed at eliminating and preventing bottlenecks in his activities and focused on an environmentally friendly future in accordance with the goals he has set. Psychocontrol is the basis for supporting the basic functions of self-government: adaptation, self-identification, planning, business activity, reflection (control, accounting and analysis). With its help, the process of making and implementing decisions becomes environmentally friendly for a person, i.e. controllability of behavior, exposure to stress, problems with goal setting, and conflict in communication are minimized.

Anti-crisis sessions of Bekmology are based on psycho-controlling tools: the “Becoming a Warrior” methodology, the “Ideoplast” method, 4C analysis, etc.

Anti-crisis sessions are aimed at helping the client mobilize his psychological, physical and intellectual resources to overcome the crisis. During the sessions, internal and external factors that help or hinder the solution of the problem are objectively assessed, and the client develops the potential to overcome a difficult situation and further successful development.

After successful completion of the sessions, the client has the opportunity to use elements of psychocontrol himself so that crisis events in his life do not recur in the future.

Cost and terms of service

The cost of the session is 5000 rubles.

The service is intended only for men and is provided only by male specialists. Anonymity and confidentiality are guaranteed.

The session is held exclusively at the client's premises. Duration – up to 4 hours.

Do not treat complex forms of a neuropsychic or psychosomatic nature (sexual disorders, insomnia, obsessive thoughts, psychotrauma, etc.).

Need more information?

Please contact us by email becmology at gmail.com. We will discuss your problems without forcing you to make a purchase or making any commitments to you.

Some of our articles are about psychological safety.

Age periodization- from birth to death determines the age boundaries of stages in a person’s life. The age stratification system accepted in society.
The division of the life cycle into age categories has changed over time. Currently, the following can be distinguished: reference systems:
1. Individual development (ontogenesis “life cycle”). This frame of reference defines such units of division as “stages of development” and “ages of life” and concentrates on age-related properties.
2. Age-related social processes and social structure of society. This system specifies “age strata”, “age groups”, “generations”.
3. The concept of age in culture. Here such concepts as “age rites”, etc. are used.
Periodization of life allows you to structure the events of human life and highlight its stages, which facilitates its analysis.
Each period has been studied to one degree or another, which makes it possible to compare individual life with norms and possible boundaries, assess the quality of life and highlight problems, often hidden.
The most developed periodization of childhood and adolescence. Soviet scientists made a great contribution to the study of ages.
According to the views of L.S. Vygodsky (see alphe-parenting.ru) periodization- the process of child development as a transition between age levels at which smooth development occurs through periods of crisis.
A crisis- a turning point in the normal course of mental development. However, in reality, crises are not an inevitable accompaniment of mental development. It is not a crisis that is inevitable, but turning points and qualitative shifts in development. On the contrary, this is evidence of a shift that has not taken place in the desired direction.
Exist:
1. Crises of socialization (0, 3 years, 12 years), the most acute.
2. Crises of self-regulation (1 year, 7 years, 15 years). They have a bright behavioral pattern.
3. Normative crises (30 years, middle age - 45 years and the last one associated with the awareness of aging).

There may be different personal crises, associated with living conditions and personality characteristics.
Each positively resolved crisis contributes to an easier and more positive course of the next one, and vice versa: refusal to resolve the task at hand usually leads to a more acute passage of the subsequent crisis.
To analyze the life path, it is convenient to distinguish 5 stages, and in them 10 periods of life (see table).

The periods of life are similar to the phases of psychosocial development of E. Erikson. A detailed description of ages and crises is presented, in particular, on the website alphe-parenting.ru. There is a description of each age and crisis according to the following parameters: age, field of activity, course, cause of crises and its result at the end of the period, leading needs and field of activity, levels of attachment, etc.
It should be noted that in reality the periods and times of crises are not strictly fixed. Their boundaries are arbitrary.
The characteristics of periods and crises of real life, given below for illustration, will be compared with their scientific characteristics.

First crisis personality experiences transition from adolescence to adulthood (17-22 years old). It is most often caused by two factors. Firstly, a person graduates from a vocational school. He has to look for a job, which in itself is not easy in our time, when employers prefer workers with experience. Having got a job, a person must adapt to working conditions and a new team, learn to apply the acquired theoretical knowledge in practice (it is known that studying at a university is mainly theoretical), while a graduate may hear the phrase “Forget everything you were taught and learn again in practice." Often, real working conditions do not correspond to a person’s ideas and hopes; in this case, the further life plans were from reality, the more difficult the crisis will be experienced.

This crisis often also correlates with a crisis in family relationships. After the first years of marriage, many young people’s illusions and romantic mood disappear, dissimilarity of views, conflicting positions and values ​​are revealed, negative emotions are demonstrated more, partners more often resort to speculation on mutual feelings and manipulation of each other (“if you love me, then... ."). The basis of a crisis in family relationships may be aggression in family relationships, a rigidly structured perception of a partner and a reluctance to take into account many other aspects of his personality (especially those that contradict the prevailing opinion about him). In strong marriages, research shows that husbands dominate. But where their power is too great, the stability of the marriage is disrupted. In strong marriages, compatibility in minor matters is important. , and not according to the basic personal characteristics of the spouses. Marital compatibility increases with age. It is believed that a good difference between spouses is 3 years, and that children born in the first years of marriage strengthen the marital relationship. In addition, studies show that men feel happy in marriages where the spouse is 94% similar in physical and personality characteristics, temperament, etc. on their own mother. For women, these correlations are smaller because female influence in the family is usually stronger than male influence.

Very often at this time there are role-related intrapersonal conflicts: for example, a young father is torn between the role of a father and family man and the role of a professional, specialist making a career, or a young woman must combine the role of a wife, mother and professional. Role conflicts of this type in youth are practically inevitable, since it is impossible for an individual to strictly distinguish between self-realization in different types of activities and different forms of social activity in the space and time of his life. Building personal role priorities and hierarchies of values ​​is the way to resolve this crisis, associated with rethinking one’s own “I” (with an attitude from a child to an adult).

Second crisis often called a crisis 30 years or a regulatory crisis. In cases where objective living conditions do not provide the opportunity to reach the necessary “cultural heights,” often conceptualized as “another (interesting, clean, new) life” (material insecurity, low social and cultural level of parents, everyday drunkenness, family psychopathization and etc.), a young man is looking for any, even brutal, way to break out of the “inorganic” environment, since age itself presupposes knowledge of the availability of a variety of opportunities for life affirmation - “to make life yourself,” according to your own scenario. Often the desire to change, to become different, to acquire a new quality is expressed in a sharp change in lifestyle, moving, changing jobs, etc., usually conceptualized as a crisis of youth.

By the way, in the Middle Ages - the times of apprentices, when craft guilds existed, young people had the opportunity to move from master to master in order to master and learn something new each time in new life circumstances. Modern professional life provides few opportunities for this, so in emergency cases a person is forced to “scratch” everything achieved and “start life from the beginning (from scratch).”

In addition, for many, this crisis coincides with the teenage crisis of their older children, which aggravates the severity of their experience (“I laid down my life for you,” “I sacrificed my youth for you,” “the best years were given to you and the children”).

Because This crisis is associated with a rethinking of values ​​and life priorities; it can be quite difficult for people with a narrow focus on the course of life (for example, a woman, after graduating from an educational institution, plays the role of only a housewife; or, on the contrary, she is absorbed in building a career and realizes the unfulfilled maternal instinct).

Most adults gain 40 years old stability in life and self-confidence. But at the same time, something creeps into this seemingly reliable and planned adult world. third crisis of maturity- doubt associated with the assessment of the life path traveled, with the understanding of stabilization, the “doneness” of life, the experience of the absence of expectations of novelty and freshness, the spontaneity of life and the opportunity to change something in it (so characteristic of childhood and adolescence), the experience of the brevity of life to accomplish everything desired, the need to abandon clearly unattainable goals.

Adulthood, despite its apparent stability, is just as contradictory period, like others. An adult simultaneously experiences both a sense of stability and confusion about whether he has truly understood and realized the real purpose of his life. This contradiction becomes especially acute in the case of negative assessments given by a person of his previous life, and the need to develop a new life strategy. Adulthood gives a person the opportunity (again and again) to “make life” at his own discretion, to turn it in the direction that the person considers appropriate.

At the same time, she overcomes the experience that life has not been realized in everything as it was dreamed of in previous ages, and creates a philosophical attitude and the possibility of tolerance for miscalculations and failures in life, accepting one’s life as it turns out. If youth largely lives by focusing on the future, waiting real life, which will begin as soon as... (children grow up, graduate from college, defend a dissertation, get an apartment, pay off car debts, achieve such and such a position, etc.), then adulthood to a greater extent sets goals, relating specifically to the present time personalities, her self-realization, her bestowal here and now. That is why many, entering mid-adulthood, strive to start life over again, to find new ways and means of self-actualization.

It has been noted that adults, who for some reason do not succeed in their profession or feel inadequate in professional roles, try by all means to avoid productive professional work, but at the same time avoid admitting themselves to be incompetent in it. They exhibit either “sickness” (excessive, unreasonable concern about one’s health, usually accompanied by the belief of others that, compared to maintaining health, “nothing else is important”) or the “green grape phenomenon” (announcement that work is is not the most important thing in life, and a person goes into the sphere of non-professional interests - caring for family and children, building a summer house, renovating an apartment, hobbies, etc.), or going into social or political activities (“now is not the time to pore over books.. .”, “now every person as a patriot must...”). People who are fulfilled in their profession are much less interested in such compensatory forms of activity.

If the developmental situation is unfavorable, there is a regression to the obsessive need for pseudo-intimacy: excessive concentration on oneself appears, leading to inertia and stagnation, personal devastation. It would seem that objectively a person is full of strength, occupies a strong social position, has a profession, etc., but personally he does not feel accomplished, needed, and his life is filled with meaning. In this case, as E. Erikson writes, a person views himself as his own and only child (and if there is physical or psychological ill-being, then they contribute to this). If conditions favor such a tendency, then physical and psychological disability of the individual occurs, prepared by all previous stages, if the balance of forces in their course was in favor of an unsuccessful choice. The desire to care for others, creativity, the desire to create (create) things in which part of the unique individuality is embedded, help to overcome the self-absorption and personal impoverishment that has arisen.

It should be noted that the experience of a crisis is influenced by a person’s habit of consciously organizing his life. By the age of 40, a person accumulates signs of aging, and the body’s biological self-regulation deteriorates.

Fourth crisis experienced by a person in connection with retirement ( 55-60 years). There are two types of attitudes towards retirement:

Some people view retirement as liberation from boring unnecessary responsibilities, when they can finally devote time to themselves and their family. In this case, retirement is looked forward to.

Other people experience the “shock of resignation,” accompanied by passivity, distance from others, a feeling of not being needed, and a loss of self-respect. The objective reasons for this attitude are: distance from the reference group, loss of an important social role, deterioration of financial situation, separation of children. Subjective reasons are the unwillingness to rebuild one’s life, the inability to fill time with something other than work, the stereotypical perception of old age as the end of life, the absence of methods for actively overcoming difficulties in the life strategy.

But it should be noted that for both the first and second personality types, retirement means the need to rebuild one’s own life, which creates certain difficulties. In addition, the crisis is aggravated by biological menopause, deteriorating health, and the appearance of age-related somatic changes.

Researchers of this period of life especially note the age of about 56 years, when people on the threshold of aging experience the feeling that they can and should once again overcome a difficult time, try, if necessary, to change something in their own lives. Most aging people experience this crisis as last chance realize in life what they considered the meaning or purpose of their life, although some, starting from this age, begin to simply “serve out” the time of life until death, “wait in the wings,” believing that age does not provide a chance to seriously change something in fate. The choice of one strategy or another depends on personal qualities and the assessments that a person gives to his own life.

Conclusions:

The boundaries of adulthood are considered to be 18-22 (beginning of professional activity) - 55-60 (retirement) years, with its division into periods: early maturity (youth) (18-22 - 30 years), middle maturity (adulthood) (30 - 40 -45 years) and late maturity (adulthood) (40-45 – 55-60 years).

In early adulthood, an individual life style and the desire to organize one’s life are formed, including the search for a life partner, purchasing housing, mastering a profession and starting a professional life, the desire for recognition in reference groups and for close friendships with other people.

The areas that have the greatest impact on personal development and self-satisfaction in middle adulthood are professional activity and family life.

Late maturity is associated with aging of the body - physiological changes observed at all levels of the body.

In adulthood, a person experiences a number of crises: during the transition to early adulthood (17-22 years), at 30 years old, at 40 years old and upon retirement (55-60 years old).