Three tactics of behavior with impudent people. How to respond and respond to insults and rudeness - examples of phrases How to answer a person to

Fragment of the book Kovpak D.V. They weren't attacked! or How to deal with rudeness? - M.: Peter, 2012

How long can you put up with rudeness? In transport, at work, at a party, at home, online, on the street - anywhere! How long can you play the role of a victim? Patiently enduring any inconvenience, any manifestation of rudeness. A well-known psychotherapist and a courageous person, Dmitry Kovpak decided that enough was enough! Read his gripping stories and professional advice on how to deal with rudeness and cynicism. Dr. Kovpak is ready to change the world around him without bending to it! And you?

Basic strategies for overcoming rudeness

Effective countermeasures

Obviously, there are three approaches in relations between people. The first is to consider only oneself and to suppress others... The second is to yield to others always and in everything... The third approach is to keep one's interests in mind without neglecting the interests of others.

Only the dead cannot be touched for the living. Each of us has been in situations where we have been wounded or psychologically traumatized. Naturally, there is a desire to punish or teach the offender a lesson or to minimize damage to the reputation and assessments of others.

What exactly to do? Tolerate or respond? How will all this turn out? And a host of other questions are relentlessly spinning in my head. This is not the first time this has happened, and not only to you. How did people who have already faced a similar problem respond to this before?

Once Confucius was asked the question: “Is it right to return good for evil?” To which he replied: "Good must be repaid with good, and evil must be repaid with justice."

Undoubtedly, if you regularly allow yourself to be offended, this can become a habit for your offenders. The desire to make a remark or even break loose with a rude person comes before there is a reason for this.

If you help unbalanced people by regularly giving them a platform to express their irritation, this tactic will automatically work for them. They no longer have to wonder who is to blame for everything.

So, confusing patience and prudence with fear and laziness, you can turn into a local scapegoat.

A person in reality is not as peaceful as he declares it and even as he thinks of himself. Therefore, waiting for your offenders to see the light on their own, admit mistakes and injustices being perpetrated, can be too time-consuming and costly a strategy. Help them realize that they ran into the wrong person.

But do not answer the content of the opponent's speech, but the very fact of his intervention in other than his own business.

Whether there are winners in the fight with rude people is a moot and even rhetorical question. However, if you have already decided on martial arts, then some skills, technologies and useful information will not interfere with you.

Entering into a verbal duel requires a number of qualities and skills:

• efficiency of search and reproduction of information;
• wit, irony;
• resourcefulness, cunning, enterprise;
• the ability to use logic and consistent reasoning;
• mastery of rhetoric;
• stress resistance and tolerance (tolerance);
• noise immunity.

Quite often, people, defending their interests, behave rudely and unceremoniously, mixing the concepts of aggressive, passive-uncertain and confident behavior. The difference in these modes of behavior lies in the fact that, acting confidently, a person does not offend or suppress others, respecting the rights of people to the same extent as his own.

People who know how to properly stand up for themselves are much less prone to stressful conditions in difficult life situations and more often experience feelings of self-satisfaction and self-esteem.

People who act in an aggressive manner actually experience feelings of guilt, inferiority, or self-doubt, and their aggressive behavior is trying to mask these underlying feelings.

The key to confident behavior is to reinforce a new pattern of attitude and behavior in regular practice.

Remember: what you say to a rude person is far less important than how you say it.

In order to successfully put boors and aggressors in their place in any situation, first of all, one must clearly realize the right to the inviolability of one's personality and personal life.

The manifestation of rudeness is, first of all, evidence of a person’s lack of worthy arguments.

“Jupiter, you are angry, so you are wrong,” Prometheus once said to the angry Jupiter, who was ready to throw lightning at him, finding no other answer.

The most ineffective way to respond to a boor is to get emotionally turned on and scream all sorts of nonsense in response. Thus, you become the twin brother of this ill-mannered type and slide down to his level. And most importantly, your emotions will show that his arrows hit the target and stung you.

But sometimes it helps to relieve stress. The cost of such a drop varies depending on the situation and the environment present at that moment, as well as the delayed consequences. Sometimes it is unreasonably high.

Receiving a splash of negative emotions into the water helps much better. Especially when the situation is already in the past, but you still want to “wave your fists”.

Open the faucet and just scream everything that has boiled into the stream of water. At the same time, wash yourself with cool water and go get positive emotions. The conflict is over. You are smarter!

Imagine this situation: you were greatly angered by your boss, who harshly and rudely reprimanded you for a situation that you actually had nothing to do with. After he leaves, you slam your fist on the table, break two pencils, a pen and turn a whole stack of papers into a shapeless mass. Will these actions reduce your anger? And will they save you from the tendency to become angry with the leader in similar situations in the future?

According to the well-known theory of catharsis (purification), the answer in both cases will be yes. When an angry person blows off steam through vigorous but harmless actions, the following happens: first, the level of tension or arousal is reduced, and second, the tendency to resort to open aggression against provoking (or other) persons is reduced.

These assumptions go back to the works of Aristotle, who believed that the contemplation of the production, forcing the audience to empathize with what is happening, can indirectly contribute to the "purification" of feelings. Despite the fact that Aristotle himself did not specifically propose this method for discharging aggressiveness, a logical continuation of his theory was proposed by many others, in particular Z. Freud, who believed that the intensity of aggressive behavior can be weakened either through the expression of emotions related to aggression, or by observing the aggressive actions of others.

While acknowledging the reality of such "cleansing", Freud was subsequently quite pessimistic about its effectiveness in preventing open aggression. He seems to have thought that his influence was ineffectual and short-lived. Indeed, watching movies or television programs with scenes of violence does not lead to a decrease in the level of aggression - on the contrary, such an experience is more likely to increase the intensity of aggressive manifestations in the future.

The level of aggression does not decrease if a person takes out his anger on inanimate objects.

Remember how we like to retell the myths about the basements of Japanese corporations, where supposedly employees thresh stuffed animals of their bosses and then calmly and contentedly go to the workplace. If people are given the opportunity to bludgeon inflatable toys, throw darts at images of hated enemies, or smash things to smithereens, it is not at all necessary that the strength of their desire to commit aggressive acts towards annoying individuals will decrease.

The level of aggression does not decrease after a series of verbal attacks either - on the contrary, the data obtained indicate that such actions actually increase the aggression of the opponent.

The English writer John Ruskin said, "A gentle answer removes malice."

This is also a technique. Only it requires sufficient hardening and exposure. In order to have enough patience for evil insults, respond politely and not lose your temper, not only externally, but also internally. This will require developing a lot of self-discipline.

In extreme cases, you can say a calmly neutral descriptive phrase, for example: “How rudely you just said. I do not like communication in this form / this tone. Sometimes this stops the offender or knocks him down for a while. In any case, you will get a pause and be able to leave the place of the verbal fight with your head held high.

So you eliminate the reason for subsequent returns to the situation in memories, which happens when an unrequited insult is swallowed, with the scrolling of "victorious scenarios" in fantasy - a virtual "waving of fists" after a verbal fight.

The main thing is to maintain inner self-confidence.

Gandhi's mentally said phrase to himself would be appropriate: "They are not able to take away our self-respect if we ourselves do not give it to them." And the conclusions drawn from everyday experience that we often feel better (that is, less agitated or tense) when we respond to people who piss us off are indeed justified, as some very serious researchers of aggression claim.

If you have time, let the interlocutor finish speaking without obvious aggression, listen to him carefully, correctly and analytically.

To listen carefully means to perceive the words that are spoken, not to be too distracted by passing thoughts. That's right - to give feedback signals showing that you understand the interlocutor (for example, with a nod). Analytically - to capture the essence of the statement, while simultaneously perceiving information encrypted between words. Listening is a true art.

But there are situations when the interlocutor responds sharply negatively about you or lies. In such a delicate situation, this rule should be abandoned. Quietly interrupt the conversation at the moment when you notice that a lie was told: just politely and correctly correct the interlocutor. But please be brief.

For example, during round-table talks or speaking on the podium, you need to respond immediately - if not with words, then with a negative shake of the head or gestures.

You can react to a negative statement later if it happened during the dialogue, but if a third party or viewers are present, they will wait for your reaction. And the lack of reaction means consent!

Do not be afraid to break the rules and stereotypes if necessary. A smart person chooses tactics depending on the situation.

Question technique is the queen of dialectics. "Who asks, he manages!" - this is how one of the leading rules of the art of conversation is formulated in the form of a slogan.

Questions are often tools of pressure in order to demand information, deepen a topic of conversation, motivate interlocutors, or move a conversation from a material or technical plane to an emotional one. They also serve to demand an explanation, to insist on justice, to cheer up the participants in the conversation or inspire them with something, to demand facts or to specify the statements of the interlocutor.

Therefore, remember the tactics of asking questions. With them you can stop the aggressor and boor. Don't be afraid to answer a question with a question. It is also a powerful tool.

The client asks:

• And why do all realtors answer a question with a question? Realtor's response:
• What do you think?

If someone tells you what to do, makes incorrect remarks, tries to test your knowledge in any area, or gives you grades that you did not ask for, you can fight back in one of the following ways described by V. Petrova.

The initial, most gentle and polite method of self-defense can be described as a "psychological barrier." With our polite and specific remarks, we can delimit our personal space, making it clear to the interlocutor that he is encroaching on someone else's territory. As a rule, already after the first stage of self-defense, most of the aggressors retreat.

Most often, this method is used when strangers or unfamiliar people express their thoughts, comments, or give us advice that we did not ask for.

Here are examples of such responses:

• Thanks for your attention, you don't have to worry about it.
• Please don't worry about our business, we can handle it ourselves.
• Please don't pay too much attention...
• Please don't bother yourself...
• I'm sorry, but is this your business? Don't say "None of your business" - that sounds more rude, and avoid saying "It's my business" because it draws attention to you (puts the spotlight on you) rather than your opponent's behavior.
• A variant is possible - to remind the attacker that only the court or the Lord God has the right to judge, and the aggressor has no right to give assessments to other people. The power of these words lies in the fact that each person implicitly understands that he himself is not perfect and does not have the moral right to tell others. Any critic and boor can be ridiculed for assigning them the role of a judge: “Who are the judges?”
• “On what basis are you asking me these questions?”, “On what basis are you examining me?” - such answers are formalized, but it helps to maintain one's own confidence by association with the power of the bureaucracy and confuse the unbridled boors, who often operate with vernacular. The aggressiveness of this response is significantly muted, and it can be used even in conversations with superiors in case of strong pressure.
• “Let God decide. Or do you want to assume its functions? Whether you're talking to an atheist or a religious fanatic, it will still work. Forwarding "to God" is an effective technique, since everyone understands that by giving an assessment to another person, he clearly exceeds his authority.

It is necessary to distinguish between rudeness and objective criticism.

Everyone makes mistakes, and so do you. If you were criticized on the case (for example, in your point of view you did not take into account some fact, did not notice something, made some mistake or oversight) - thank the critic, for example, with the words: “Yes, indeed, I did not take into account / took into account this fact. Thank you, I will keep it in mind”, “Thank you, I just didn’t notice this”, “I’ll think about it, thanks for the comment / information”.

A number of techniques for rebuffing rude people are based on the principle of transferring attention from your personality to the personality of the attacker.

An example is the phrase of one of the characters in the film “Kin-dza-dza”: “Did someone tell you that you are smart, or did you decide that yourself?”

Another option for switching attention to the personality of a rude person is a description of his actions. Any action of the interlocutor can be presented in the form of a picture, only written not with paints, but with your words.

A person who behaves unworthily, as a rule, does not realize that the ugliness of his behavior and the motives that make him act in such a way are perfectly visible to others, or simply displaces understanding of this. Strange as it may seem, it seems to the aggressor that people perceive only his words, but they do not see him (do not evaluate him). Therefore, in order to confuse the enemy, one should describe his behavior in the form of a visual picture, for example: “Do you yourself hear what you are saying?” or “Do you understand how you look now?”

People who like to speak for others, in particular, to broadcast from the position of "highest values", "norms of morality and morality", can also be put in their place.

You should ask the person who, for example, accused you, who specifically was harmed by your actions. If not to him personally, then you are not obliged to talk to him and even more so to report to him. Answer: “We will talk about this with the person whose interests were affected, but not with you.”

If the aggressor claims that you are causing damage to many at once, say: “If you wish, you have the right to apply to the appropriate authorities” (for example, to your superiors, to the house management, to the police, to the court, etc.). But in no case do not get involved in a dispute that you do not need. Do not make excuses, do not report to a person who is not an official, whose duties really include a legal assessment of your actions.

Talking to people who insist that you are harming some third party is not worth it, even if you have irrefutable evidence of your own innocence. Save this evidence in case authorized persons intervene in the case, to whom you really have to report.

The very fact that you have begun to justify yourself to a stranger indicates that you have reduced self-confidence, it is easy for you to feel guilty and you “owe” others too much.

No matter how self-confident and arrogant the boor may seem to you, remember that there are people in the world with whom he is afraid to talk like with you.

Also, a rude person would not dare to behave in such a way if the situation was seen by people whom he fears or whose opinion he values. You can appeal to them: “Why don’t you repeat the same thing to such and such (say the name of this person’s boss, a relative whom he respects or fears, etc.)?”, “You don’t talk like that at work! »

Another option is to refer to virtual witnesses: “What do you think a well-mannered person would do in your place?” (you can give the name of a specific person whom the aggressor respects), “Why do you think other people don’t do this?”

If a person who is on duty behaves unworthily, you can comment on his behavior with the wish that his words be heard by a person who is honored by representatives of this profession.

Once a teacher called a student a swear word. He was not at a loss and said: "May Makarenko and Sukhomlinsky hear you."

Very effective is the so-called method of Milton Erickson (a famous hypnopsychotherapist), who used metaphors and stories that contained a hint or example of the behavior of the person to whom the story was intended.

Metaphor is a kind of indirect suggestion. This word consists of two Greek roots: meta - "through" and fore - "transfer". That is, a metaphor is a means of transfer. What does the metaphor convey? It carries meanings, bypassing conscious controls and barriers.

For example, here is a story about how not everything is as rude as it seems at first glance.

Once a wanderer stopped a walking old man to find out how far it was to the city.

Go on, he replied in a monosyllable. The bewildered wanderer continued on his way, reflecting on the rudeness of the locals. But he had not gone even fifty steps, when he heard:

Wait! The old man stood on the road and shouted to the traveler:

You still have an hour to go to the city.

Why didn't you answer right away? exclaimed the stranger.

I should have seen what step you are walking, - the old man explained.

Or a story about jumping to conclusions.

The knight walked through the desert. His journey was long. On the way he lost his horse, helmet and armor. Only the sword remained. The knight was hungry and thirsty. Suddenly he saw a lake in the distance. The knight gathered all the remaining strength and went to the water. But by the very lake sat a three-headed dragon.

The knight drew his sword and with the last of his strength began to fight the monster. Day fought, the second fought. Cut off two dragon heads. On the third day, the dragon fell exhausted. An exhausted knight fell nearby, no longer able to stand on his feet and hold his sword.

And then, with the last of his strength, the dragon asked:

• Knight, what do you want?
• Drink water.
• Well, I'd drink...

And finally, remember the enchanting film "Formula of Love" and the doctor's calm rebuke to the rogue Cagliostro using illustrative examples from life:

Yes, yes, agreed Cagliostro. - So many tales have been invented about me that I get tired of refuting them. Meanwhile, my biography is simple and usual for people who bear the title of master ... Let's start from childhood. I was born in Mesopotamia, near the confluence of the Tigris and Euphrates, two thousand one hundred and twenty-five years ago ... - Cagliostro looked around the audience, as if giving them the opportunity to realize what he had heard. - You are probably amazed at such an ancient date of my birth?

No, it's not amazing, - the doctor said calmly. - We had a clerk in the county, in patchports, where the year of birth, only indicated one number. Ink, rogue, vish, saved. Then the matter cleared up, he was sent to prison, but they did not begin to remake the patchport. Document anyway.

© Kovpak D.V. They weren't attacked! or How to deal with rudeness? - M.: Peter, 2012
© Published with the permission of the publisher

Unfortunately, we are not always able to orient ourselves in time and respond correctly in situations where someone offends us. Subsequently, we are upset not only because of the very fact of other people's insults, but also because we failed to give a proper rebuff. In many cases, you can avoid these frustrations.

Many people make the mistake of clearly showing the interlocutor that his words hurt them in some way. Of course, when we are insulted, it is not easy to control ourselves and not show that we are offended and “touched to the quick”. And yet, if you do not cope with this task, then the opponent will understand that he managed to achieve the goal and offend you for real. No matter how difficult it is for you, try to make it clear to the person that his words do not bother you at all. The best way to help you with this is humor, which often helps you respond quickly in unforeseen situations.

If you stock up on a few witty phrases, then, for sure, later they will be able to help you out at the right time.

Examples of such remarks:

• Your words don't surprise me at all. I would be surprised if you said something really smart.
• And nature really has a great sense of humor, since she creates specimens like you!

How to respond to insults and aggression

How to behave when you are insulted

Situations can be different, so it is advisable to adjust your behavior in accordance with them.

• For example, if you yourself offended a person, and you understand that all his insults are just hurt pride and an attempt to avenge the offense, then it is better to remain silent. Probably, the interlocutor is in agony, and with additional remarks you will aggravate the situation even more.
• If they began to offend you undeservedly or even “for no reason at all”, then, probably, the opponent wants to “let off steam”, and it is quite possible that you just fell under a hot hand. Of course, in this situation you should not be a "punching bag" - put the offender in his place!
• If you are offended by a person who is clearly in an inadequate state, then it is better not to have anything to do with him and not get involved in a dialogue. We are talking about a person in hysterics or under the influence of alcohol or drugs. You will not be able to prove anything to such an interlocutor, and it is even quite likely that with your answers (any!) You will provoke him to a new flow of aggression or even the use of physical force. It is better to avoid communicating with such people, even if you surpass them in physical parameters - you should not get involved in a skirmish that is unlikely to end in something good.

Undoubtedly, such a situation is offensive to any person, and sometimes we do not know how to respond to insults. There are times when it is better not to get involved in a conflict and simply ignore unpleasant remarks - for example, at the moment when they are spoken by a drunk or completely out of control person. Another thing is when the interlocutor approaches this consciously. So, with what sharp words can you answer the words of a rude man?

• Your fantasy and mind are so primitive that these insults do not offend me at all.
• It's amazing how easy it is for you to offend someone. Fate will do the same to you, you'll see.

In general, it is worth noting that most often boors specifically try to provoke us into any kind of reaction. Often we notice that someone else's rudeness can completely arise from a completely empty place, or the reason is so insignificant that an adequate person would not pay attention to it at all. Just boors can not deprive themselves of the opportunity to offend someone.

Most often, in such cases, we are advised to ignore the attacks of the ill-wisher, and such recommendations are instilled in us from childhood. And yet, such advice, as a rule, has practically no effectiveness - in practice, it often turns out that a person who has escaped punishment for his sabotage becomes even more impudent. If the boor is constantly ignored, then subsequently he is affirmed in the thought that everything is permitted to him. Therefore, it is important to remember that in no case should we disregard the insults that sellers, administrators, cashiers and other casual interlocutors “gift” us during their working hours. The most adequate reaction to such behavior is an appeal to the authorities, whose task is to competently select personnel.

How to adequately respond to rudeness and rudeness

You can very well get out of this situation elegantly if you calmly agree with the boor. This technique has a particularly disarming effect on some people. So, if someone is trying to insult your mental abilities or "ride" in appearance, then half agree with these words, and then thank your opponent for taking the time to find your shortcomings. This method has a very high efficiency when there are spectators present during its implementation. You will not offend the boor in response, but at the same time put him in an awkward position.

Many people are distinguished by increased suspiciousness, and if such an instance met on your way, then, of course, you can scare him with the inevitable retribution “from above”. After the phrases below, the offender will remember the dialogue with you for a long time.

• There is no desire to respond to these insults. However, the day will come when you will understand that all misfortunes have been acquired by you, starting from this day.
• It has already happened that we pay for everything in this life. Remember this day to know why God is punishing you.
• From now on, you are in for a lot of bad luck. I'm not scaring you, I just know about it.

How to intelligently send a person without a mat

If you do not want to swear in response to other people's unpleasant statements, but still think that you must fight back, then it is quite possible to answer intelligently, but still put the person in his place.

• They say that a person usually hides his complexes and insolvency behind insults. Think about it.
• It feels like an insult is the only way you can assert yourself.

How to shut up a person with one beautiful phrase

Sometimes there is no desire to enter into a verbal skirmish, and you want to shut up a person by uttering only one annihilating remark. There are many such phrases, and they act differently on everyone. Here's an example:

• They say that when a person is not particularly brilliant with his mind, the only thing left for him is to stoop to insults.

When insulting the boss

In this case, unfortunately, we do not always have the opportunity to answer the way we want, therefore, it would be most reasonable to simply avoid the conflict. If we are talking not about the authorities, but about a colleague, then there is no need to escalate the situation either - try to answer neutrally.

Such a technique can also be useful at the moment when the boss offends you: at the time when the boss says unpleasant things to you, mentally imagine a small, capricious child in his place. In your imagination, soothe this baby, stroke him on the head, feed him milk porridge. So it will be much easier for you to listen to insults, and perhaps even your mood will not worsen at all. In addition, the boss, for sure, will be able to assess your stamina.

Buy an Elephant Method

Many people remember a joke from childhood, when the opponent was offered to “buy an elephant”, thereby infuriating him and almost driving him crazy. You can do the same. Answer each barb with the same bored tone: “So?”, “And then that?”, “Really?” and in the same vein. Undoubtedly, by the end of this monotonous conversation, the boor will experience a real decline in moral strength.

Improvisation

In a conversation with the offender, try to use the surprise effect, surprise and disarm him with this. For example, you can laugh out loud in response to unpleasant words, as if you heard the funniest joke. You can also sneeze, noting: "Sorry, I'm just allergic to people like you." In addition, you can smile good-naturedly, and curl: "Surely, your parents are ashamed of your upbringing." Try to improvise!

If you understand that the insults that sound at you are completely unfair, and you guess that your opponent also suspects this, then you should shame him. How can I do that? First of all, you can use certain phrases. If the person insulting you is conscientious enough, then such words will be able to penetrate him.

• Never stoop to insults without understanding the situation properly. It doesn't suit you at all.
• I hope that the day will come when you will be ashamed of everything you said.
• It is strange that I had a much better opinion of you.
• I hope you're just trying to look worse than you really are.

There is no doubt that the person trying to insult you simply wants to somehow assert himself or stand out. At the end of his monologue, you may well ask coldly: “Well, did you manage to assert yourself at my expense?”.

In general, when communicating with such a person, sincerely try to understand what his true goal is, what he wants to achieve with his own words. At these moments, it is not so important what exactly your opponent says to you, but why he does it.

If you cannot find an answer in a difficult situation, then at least try not to bring the matter to mutual insults and impulsive reactions. Do not play by the rules that they try to impose on you.

It is also important to learn how to calmly respond to any rudeness, without “losing face” and a sense of dignity. Although it's hard not to admit that cultural conversion rarely makes a strong impression on the boor.

When it comes to trolling or other provocative situations, the best thing you can do is ignore such a person.

The right response to insults

• It happens that we want to answer, but you know in advance that any of your words simply will not have an effect on the offender. Of course, in this situation it is better not to waste words and energy, but simply cut off the dialogue abruptly.
• It often happens that the person who “attacks” you does not really have anything against you personally - he just has a bad mood. In this case, it is enough to ask him the question: “Bad day?”. An adequate person will not argue with this, and it is even possible that he will apologize.
• Often it is better not to lead to reciprocal insults. Try to avoid this situation by asking the interlocutor what he told you. Pretend you didn't hear his words. It is possible that the person has already regretted what was said. If the “attack” continues, then, apparently, you have a rare boor in front of you.
• During some dialogues, we are simply strangled by the desire to pounce on the interlocutor. And yet, be that as it may, it is very important not to come to this - you will almost certainly regret it. Try to keep your mind calm. It will be ideal if you learn to parry with witty remarks, and not show that provocations hurt you in any way.
• It is impossible not to mention one of the most common mistakes made by people who were forced to face insults. It's about excuses. Often, when we hear hurtful words, we try to prove to the opponent that he is unfair to us. With such tactics, you will undoubtedly find yourself in a position of humiliation.

Insulted by a stranger

If a person is drunk or clearly out of his mind, then you should still ignore his words - just try not to notice him. If we are talking about a stranger who didn’t like your behavior, then try to understand the situation, and then act “according to circumstances”.

Offended by a loved one

It is important to immediately understand why the conflict situation occurred, and what provoked it. It is better to prevent the spread of further quarrel, and frankly tell a loved one that he offended you, and you are hurt by his words. Try not to hush up the conflict, but speak frankly, clarifying the matter.

It happens that at the moments when they try to offend us with their insults, we frantically begin to scroll through the possible answers in our thoughts. It becomes quite insulting if these efforts are in vain and a witty answer comes to our mind after the dialogue is completed. Everyone knows the expression that “after a fight they don’t wave their fists”, therefore it is advisable to respond to the interlocutor’s sharp remarks in a timely manner.

So, let's look at some similar phrases that can help us in a difficult conversation:

• I don't want to interrupt you, but I have more important things to do. Are you done?
• Do you answer politely or tell the truth?

Note that most often people who easily go to insult the interlocutor, as a rule, do not have high intelligence, so smart answers often drive them into a stupor. What options can be used?

Examples:

• I don’t know what your usual diet is, but this menu is clearly not very balanced, and contains harmful carcinogens - they took up the destruction of your brain cells!
• Scientists have not yet fully studied the intellectual abilities of primates. Maybe you could leave your contacts, my friend researcher will need them very much. By the way, do you want to take part in a scientific experiment?

And yet, if possible, try not to respond to insults in the spirit of the offender himself. Or at least don't become the instigator of the conflict! What kind of people tend to do this?

The face of a provocateur

• A weak man who is really a coward, and sharp words are his only defense.
• An energy vampire who tries to bring out the negative emotions of the interlocutor, thereby "feeding" himself.
• Hams without education, who had to grow like "grass in the field."
• Aggressors who find it difficult to live a day without participating in any scandal.
• Unfavorable elements, like drug addicts and alcoholics, who find it difficult to control themselves.
• Just stupid people.

When you understand that an adequate and reasonable person will find a way to convey his idea without obscenities and insults, then it will be much easier for you to respond to the antics of ordinary boors.

Pay attention to their conversations. Don't eavesdrop, but when they speak to you or those around you, listen carefully. Do they only talk about themselves? Do they get angry or annoyed when they stop being the center of attention? These are quite serious signs of arrogance.

• Arrogance and self-satisfaction often simply indicate a lack of life experience and a concern that those who have more of it "have advantages over them." Instead of learning more, asking questions, and learning (which they perceive as a weakness), arrogant people usually draw general conclusions from their limited experience and try to impose their narrow point of view on everyone else.
• Out of envy of your accomplishments or lifestyle, some may flaunt their superiority over you in what they think they are better at or because of what they have and you don't.
• Brazen people have a strong need to look good. If you make them look bad - even the slightest remark - their reaction is usually very aggressive. For example, if you question (or they think you question) their appearance, intelligence, athletic ability, or something else related to their image.

01. Any resemblance between you and the person is purely coincidental!02. Are you always this stupid, or is today a special occasion?03. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?04. I would like to punch you in the teeth, but why should I improve your appearance?05. At least there is one positive thing about your body. It's not as scary as your face!06. The brain is not everything. And in your case it's nothing!07. Be careful, don't let your brain get into your head!08. I like you. They say I have bad taste, but I love you.09. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?10. If only I had a face like yours. I would sue my parents!11. Don't be upset. Many people don't have talent either!12. Do not be offended, but what is your job to spread ignorance?13. Keep talking, someday you will still be able to say something smart!14. Do you still love nature despite what it has done to you?15. I don't think so, maybe you have a sprained brain!16. Fellows like you don't grow on trees, they vacillate there.17. He has a mechanical mind. This is bad for him, he often forgets to turn his back to the wind.18. His mind is like a steel trap that always closes when trying to find the answer!19. You are a man of the earth, it is bad that it is not the best part of it.20. He thought - this is something new.21. When it finally gets dark, you will surely look better!22. Yes, you are just a miracle comedian. If it's funny, it's a miracle!23. In Who's Who, you should be looked for as What Is It?24. You are living proof that a person can live without brains!25. It is so short that when it rains, he is always the last to know about it.26. Yes, you are just a template for building an idiot.27. Why are you here? I thought the zoo was closing for the night!28. How did you get here? Did someone leave the cage open?29. Do not try to find anything in your head, it is empty.30. I think you wouldn't want to feel the way you look!31. Hello! I am human! What are you?32. I can't talk to you right now, tell me where you will be in 10-33 years. I don't want you to turn the other cheek, it's just ugly.34. I don't know who you are, but it would be better if you didn't exist, I'm sure everyone will agree with me.35. I don't know what makes you stupid, but it really works.36. I can drive the monkey out of you, but it will cost you dearly!37. I can't remember your name and please don't help me with this! 38. I don't even like the people you try to copy.39. I know you were born stupid, but why do you relapse?40. I know that you made yourself. It's good that you admit your guilt!41. I know you are not as stupid as you look. This is impossible!42. I saw people like you, but then I had to pay for the ticket!43. Why are you such a fool today? Although I think this is typical of you.

Learning to be rude beautifully or how to culturally put in place!

For every power there is another power. When a person is full of anger and resentment, it is not always possible to remain silent on his foul language. Sometimes you want to answer. How to answer without losing your temper and without sinking to the level of the interlocutor?

1. To talk with you on the same level, I have to lie down!..

2. I don't know what you eat for breakfast, but it really works! Intelligence tends to zero!

3. Just do not remove the headphones from your ears. God forbid a draft will chill the brain from the inside.

4. Should I see a psychologist? No, of course, thank you very much for the good advice, but you should not equalize everyone on your own.

5. You will open your mouth at the dentist.

6. To shock me, you have to say something smart.

7. One more horn from your platform and your dental compound will move.

8. So that you celebrate your wedding at McDonalds.

9. If it gave me pleasure to communicate with cykam, I would have had a dog for a long time.

10. Mind like a shell.

11. Looking at you, I begin to understand that nothing human is alien to God. He has an excellent sense of humor.

12. Talk, talk… I always yawn when I'm interested!

13. Would you decorate the world with your absence, until I took a sin on my soul!

14. Of the positive qualities you have only "Rh factor".

15. I live opposite the cemetery. You will show off, you will live opposite me.

16. Does everyone love you? Ah, well, yes, love is evil ...

17. What if you could cover yourself with a teaspoon in the bath!

18. - Girl, are you bored? - Not by that much…

19. Your right to your own opinion does not oblige me to listen to nonsense.

20. - "thank you" cannot be put in your pocket. - you will carry it in your hands !!!

21. Hey, you rose! Tulip from here, otherwise, like a dahlia, you will become gray!

22. I came to you with greetings, with an iron and a gun

24. It is better to be smartly silent than to speak stupidly

25. Is this a set of words, or do I need to think about it?

26. Sorry for not living up to your stereotypes

27. In some heads thoughts come to die

28. He: We will go to you or go to me?
Her: At the same time. You - to yourself, and I - to myself.

29. What, verbal oil well dried up?

30. Madhouse on the road, psychos in nature!

31. What are you watching? Are you in a museum? I'll arrange a cultural event for you in two acts without intermission! I'll give a crack - the head will fly off

32. And what do you think, that if you yell at me louder, I will listen more quietly?

33. Now you will carry your glasses home with me. in different pockets.

34. Your style of speech reminds me of the bazaar dialect of the distant nineties at the end of the last century.

35. And don't laugh! Laughter for no reason is a sign that a person is either an idiot or a pretty girl. If you want to convince me of the second, shave first.

How to respond in specific situations. Examples!

1. Agree with the offending person. Classic:

- Yes, you are a complete fool and idiot!
- Yes. I have help too! Do you think it's very smart to prove something to a fool?

- You're just a fool!
- Agree! This is because you constantly have to talk to fools.

I don't like your answers!
What questions, what answers!

Yes, I'm smarter than all of you put together!
- Certainly! After all, you have a mind chamber. Still a watchman to this shed ...

2. Bring the statement directed in your direction to the point of absurdity:

- Hey, slow down!
- I can not, the brake must be one. (No, our pair already has one brake!)

- What are you doing?
- I do it in my pants.

“Are you divorcing me now?”
- And now who do you consider yourself a bee or a rabbit?

3. Turn a negative statement into a positive one:

- You are a horse!
“If it weren’t for the suckers, where would you be right now?”

– Some idiots around!
"Don't you usually feel smart?"

- What is the phone grabbed when I'm talking to you ?!
– I also prefer to talk to smart people!

4. Put pressure on the person “on weakly”. After all, no one likes to feel weak:

- You dance like hell..
- I don’t dance, I just remove my legs so that you don’t crush me out ... (Do you know how cool I embroider with a cross!)

– What are you talking about?
- It's strange, but others like my speech ... Do you have no sense of beauty, or hearing problems?

Are you making yourself smart?
- Do you have problems communicating with smart people?

5. What do you want?

“Well, why are you quiet?”
- And what, did you already want to get on the surgeon's table by this time?

Well, who's the brave one here?
“You talk to me like that, as if your emergency room membership is gone.

You are a simple housewife!
“Would you like me to be a currency prostitute?”

Rudeness must be fought! If, when you are rude, you want to cry, then the interlocutor has achieved his goal. Self-asserted at your expense and supported by a considerable share of your energy! Don't encourage this kind of behavior!