People wishful thinking. Wishful thinking is a disease

wishful thinking

An invention intended to instill in another an exaggerated idea of ​​oneself, to show off, to intimidate

An invention intended to disorient others

Fiction, deception, intended to intimidate

A false move that intimidates the opponent, creating the impression that there is an advantage when in fact there is none.

Italian film starring Adriano Celentano

One-man card theater

Deception designed to create a false impression, an act that misleads

Reception when playing cards

A way to mislead partners in a card game

A bet in poker on cards from a hand that the player considers weak (card term)

Comedy with Celentano

A good face in a bad situation

Acting at the card table

This word from the vocabulary of English poker players meant a way of intimidating an opponent “a good face in a bad game”

Theatrical behavior at the card table

English "deception"

Intimidating card player behavior

Misleading action

Poker technique

It's like a card trick

Catalyst work

Card pretend

Gambler's deception

TV Liars Club

Deception according to the British

Movies starring Celentano

Film with Celentano

Psychological trick when playing poker

Cheating with a straight face

Poker cheat

Cinema deception Celentano

Gambler's performance

Skillful Cheating in Poker

Instilling an exaggerated image of oneself

Card trick

Confident look with bad cards

Poker technique

Poker Player's Trick

. player's "boast"

Psychological trick in poker

Cheating when playing cards

A gambler's trick

Gambler's Noodles

Taking a scare in poker

Deception designed to create a false impression, misleading actions

A way to mislead partners in a card game

Misleading action

The most important thing that would be worth understanding, but which is impossible to understand simply because this function of perception does not work, is to understand that the predicted reality is not an actual reality, and becomes it only due to the effect of existentiality. In other words, when we define the future as one in which we already see war, then all the actions of today’s present are an existential action aimed at war, which thus seems to be a confirmation of the belief in the forecast.

But attention! How can a person make an accurate forecast for the future if he positions himself as a pragmatist, a rationalist? But forecasting requires the opposite quality - the ability to develop creative imagination and rich mental representations.

And here a logical paradox arises:

A pragmatist does not predict, he predetermines.

Let's say a pragmatist believes that an increase in wages will corrupt you. In other words, he predicts, projects the present into the future. However, deprived of mentally rich representations and fantasies, he extrapolates his own rationalism into the future. For him, the word and its meaning are practically a direct information pointer. Therefore, if you say what you want, then this is how it is seen, regardless of whether the words are used in the past, present or future tense. Perfectly, such people feel able to control time itself, simply by using speech. If they talk about the past, then they are in the past. If they talk about the present, then they are in the present. If about the future, then they do not realize that words can serve psychic reality, and not the present.

If such a person has the conviction that they want to somehow hurt him in the future, then for him this is a reason to start fighting this today, since he does not realize, I repeat, that words can have multiple representational properties, painting our fantasies with incredible colors non-existent ideas.
So, rationalism sees its own fantasies as a fact come true. His "I" is not capable of abstraction in the function that is expressed by introspection. This function is simply atrophied, not developed, degraded during the development of the mental apparatus of the individual.

A curious phenomenon arises, seemingly so beautiful, known to us under the guise of a noble thing - a man said, a man did. However, the point is that if a man said absolute heresy, then he did it anyway, because “a man said, a man did” becomes an automatic process. A kind of stupid machine that will grind everything that gets into it, be it millet or a baby. As Isaac Adizes wrote in his book, some companies became so effective that their own clients began to interfere with them. What if we consider public management in this paradigm?

It is necessary to understand that foresight is based on a completely different principle of perception and its path lies through a wealth of representations and fantasies, in a completely different sphere of mental properties, opposite to rationalism, but directly indicating and connecting a person with feelings.

The essence of foresight is not to accurately predict which events will occur, but to generally form an understanding of the deviation or correlation of the goals of human culture and the goals of life itself. Do you feel the difference?

But what kind of person can predict the future as if it were an inevitable event that has already happened?

I think even God doesn’t know this.

Imagine, I make a statement that you want to beat me in the future. Based on this statement, I take action in the present to prevent this from happening, that is, I break your hands or try to attack you myself. After all, I cannot avoid what is about to happen, and therefore, in a mental sense, I have nowhere to go. In the nature of mental reactions, the first is flight, the second is defensive aggression if there is nowhere to run.

Are you starting to understand what the point is?

So, let's repeat: I predicted in the future that you should beat me. Therefore, this cannot be avoided. Consequently, in the present I attack, thereby provoking exactly what I predict as the future, stating the fact that you are the aggressor.

Let us add to this phenomenon what I described in relation to the psyche impoverished in mental representations and fantasy. And we inevitably get a provocation of aggression, in which we perceive the aggressor in the opposite logical form - it was he who attacked and beat us, as we predicted.

The most important thing that psychiatry would say is that in this clinical act the moment of reflective self-criticism is missed. Only opposing aggressors are always visible, but the one against whom the aggressor acts - the victim herself - is always excluded from the conflict.

Own actions are all logically and behaviorally justified in relation to the level of forecasting.

I can attack you and beat you, because in my head I have an image of the future in which you are strangling me. That is, one’s own fantasies about what the wife could have cheated on are enough to beat her soundly.

Imagine a class sitting in class, everything is calm. Suddenly the student gets up, takes a sawn-off shotgun from his backpack and blows the teacher’s head off. Later they ask him: “Why did you do this?”

And he answers: “I realized that this teacher is a pedophile.”

How did you understand it?

I just saw him raping me in the future.

The child's mental apparatus is clearly not all right. But the fact that the teacher may not be involved in this in any way, I hope, is clear?

It is impossible for many people today to explain that their beloved wife did not cheat on them, but is under the paranoid surveillance of her own jealous husband, which provokes her to change her relationship with him. By the way, often just into emptiness. Sometimes it’s just easier for a woman to find temporary support in order to take a step and break free, and then leave this temporary refuge, which is supposedly what all the fuss is about.

There are also two important points:

1. Mental, information pressure
2. The ability of the psyche to withstand certain mental pressure.

And then comes operatuarity - a “quantum” leap in the mental decision about degradation, in which the unconscious is deprived of the ability to transmit. This means that the information process between consciousness and unconscious processes is deeply disturbed; it has become not afferent, but one-sided.

The body functions like an automaton, and there is no mechanism that would detect an excess or shortage of information material.

Loss of feelings. How can you make a choice towards the purpose of life if the entire external environment is neutral? I put my hand into the fire, but it doesn’t feel it. I cut off my finger, but you can’t feel the blood flowing out.

You come to work because that's what you're supposed to do. I got married because I had to. Children, car, dacha. In short, everything is the same as for everyone else, as it is for me.

Although, what saves many is that they still have depression and torment. This is encouraging. And those who are at the helm, so to speak, no longer have these mental properties. That is why there is such a gap in cultural achievements between the poor and the super rich. To do this, it was necessary to tear out your soul by the roots, just as one pulls out the root from a tooth, so that not a piece remains, otherwise the tooth will then begin to hurt under the filling.

We put a filling and it’s ready - the body will serve a person in his culture for many more years.

And the most interesting thing is that those closest to you are brought to the ceremony of uprooting the root of the soul from your own body.

But this is probably a separate life story.

There is no place for reality in the lives of many people. They see what they want to see. And they hear only what is pleasing to their ears. These inventors can even convince themselves of their own sensations and feelings, that is, of things that are difficult to mistake. But by wishful thinking, these people deprive themselves of the chance to live their own lives and find their own happiness. There is an anecdote about a man who, after death, had the opportunity to choose whether to go to hell or heaven. He looked at paradise: beautiful landscapes, quiet music, sheep grazing in the meadow, peaceful smiling people around - boredom. Then he turned his gaze to hell: bars, restaurants, naked girls, casinos, money flowing - fun. Struck by what he saw, he chose hell; he had enough of a boring life on earth. And he fell straight into a boiling cauldron. “Where are the restaurants and the girls?” - he exclaimed. “So it’s for tourists. And you are here for permanent residence!” - the devils answered him.

This is how a person falls into the traps of his own illusions. Knowing what hell is, he nevertheless prefers to see a luxurious life in it. And he turns out to be severely punished for wishful thinking.

Why does a person love to be in illusions so much?

This makes it easier to survive your imperfections. Deep down, many of us are convinced of our own insignificance. Women, as a rule, are not satisfied with their appearance, men - with their career or size (profit, talent, power, country house, penis, etc.)

Why traumatize yourself with the truth when you can successfully persuade your mind to do whatever you want. And if there are still people who will support you in your own illusions, that’s great. The desired becomes fixed in the consciousness. And if at first there were still some doubts that you, for example, are a genius of foreign policy, then after numerous flattering statements from people interested in your loyalty, you yourself are convinced that you are a genius.

By the way, falling into the net of flattery, which is nothing more than a trap for those who like to wishful thinking, they become victims of the manipulations of unscrupulous fellow citizens who build their careers and personal lives on their weaknesses. These cunning little people simply scour the world in search of gullible braggarts for whom the oil of lies is so sweet. Moreover, they have learned to deceive those who want to be deceived so skillfully that even the most blatant lie from their lips is perceived as a revelation. Remember the song of the fox Alice and the cat Basilio: “As long as braggarts live in the world, we must glorify our destiny, a braggart doesn’t need a knife, sing to him a little and do with him what you want.”

And among these braggarts there are smart people who are quite sensible and have a penchant for analysis. Why, when it comes to themselves, that is, an objective assessment of their personality, their efforts, talents and other merits, they turn into mere children who so love to come up with excuses for themselves.

A person is designed in such a way that he will always find an excuse for his unseemly actions, failures on the personal front, shortcomings of character and appearance. This is how the defense mechanisms of our psyche are structured; if it weren’t for this, we would probably have shot ourselves long ago from the awareness of our own imperfection. A saving lie elevates and consoles, preventing you from falling into depression and despondency. And at some point it even makes us happy. Not for long... But this happiness is as unreal as our fiction. Sooner or later, the fog clears and instead of a wonderful forest clearing with flowers and berries, we see a blank gray wall. Isn’t it better to immediately know that there is a wall there than to get hit on the head with a blow to the head, once convinced of its existence on your own forehead? Wishful thinking is not so bad; it’s much worse when you can’t pass off what you don’t want as invalid.

Bitter lie or saving truth

Many people think that living without illusions is boring and generally impossible. If you think the thought through to the end, then all we really do is invent ourselves. That is, we mentally create our reality. They even teach us this. "Think positive!" Indeed, what is the use of calling a spade a spade, when you do this, the world turns into a cesspool. You can look at it from a different angle and see only the good. In this case, you not only do not sin against the truth, but you also increase beauty and light in the world. How long can you remain in illusions about the world and yourself? Yes, even for the rest of your life! There's enough imagination for now. It’s good if your inventions concern yourself exclusively. They don’t bother anyone, they don’t embarrass anyone or make anyone unhappy.

It’s worse when those around you fall within the radius of your illusions. For example, a husband invented from tail to head. “I molded him from what was there, and then I fell in love with what was there.” It’s good if it’s molded from what was, most often they are molded from non-existent material, and then they are bitterly disappointed that it turns out to be not made from gingerbread, but from solid iron.

And if you are also exposed to power, those around you are simply forced to reckon with and suffer from the twists and turns of your imagination. Have you ever wondered why entire nations suffer when they are commanded by those who do not know how to face the truth? I'm not even talking about a simple family. Children, spouses, loved ones, neighbors who are forced to suffer because someone prefers to wishful thinking.

But it turns out to be a double-edged sword. If you look the bitter truth in the eye, then life becomes gray, boring and inhospitable. If we resort to saving lies, the world becomes better only in our imagination. After all, if it is as beautiful as we came up with, why change it. Let everything be as it is. And so good!

What's the solution?

First, understand that the truth is never bitter or sweet. Get this clear once and for all. It contains equal amounts of bitterness and sweetness. How to decipher this? Yes, very simple. Any phenomenon has two sides, like a coin or a piece of paper. Or maybe not even two, but many sides. Try to look at the world from all angles at the same time, then you will understand that your imperfection can be an advantage, a disadvantage can be an opportunity to get what you want, a problem can be a way of self-improvement. Therefore, the saving slogan: “Everything is for the better!” - this is not a slogan at all, it is simply a statement of fact for those who do not know how to look at life in a complex way.

Secondly, stop being a child who needs to protect himself from life by inventing fairy tales about it. When we face the truth and don't hide from it in the bushes, we grow up. We accept the world as it is and take responsibility for our own lives, for our mistakes and imperfections. In this case, of course, we have no one to blame for our failures. And we need a certain courage to be fully aware of what surrounds us and what is happening. At the same time, we can also be wrong. They say fear has big eyes. These huge eyes are also a kind of illusion. That's why…

Third, get rid of fears and self-doubt. Which have not be avoided. And fear is such an insidious thing that itself attracts bad things. What you fear most usually happens. According to the law of attraction. Self-doubt is the same fear that was born in childhood, when we were weak and helpless and required care and guidance. Self-doubt is a rejection of yourself as you are, dislike of yourself, fear of mistakes, ridicule, etc. The hardest thing to get rid of is childhood fears. But it is they who make us wishful thinking and deform our lives. Start by simply admitting to yourself your fears. This is already half the battle.

Ultimately, allow yourself to be imperfect like our imperfect world. He is beautiful and harmonious and at the same time monstrous and terrible. Look at him with wide open eyes of truth. Hear, feel with all your senses, understand in all its diversity, feel that it is perfect even in its imperfection. And then you will not need to wishful thinking; you will learn to accept reality, turning it into desired.

I don't think there is a person in this world who doesn't wishful thinking. We all have a tendency to dream about our future or things we would like to do. According to research, we spend about 10%-20% of our time dreaming about what we want.

Why does wishful thinking happen and how does it benefit us?

We dream because we may face some difficulties in real life or we cannot, and as a result, we take refuge in imagination. Wishful thinking is a form of escapism that can help us build our goals, strategies, or find solutions to various problems.

Thus, brain activity does not slow down during wishful thinking and daydreaming, as others believe. On the contrary, they become more intense, which means we focus more on problems or goals. This subsequently leads to a clearer understanding of the steps we need to take.

In fact, it's even recommended to allow yourself to daydream at work, say British researchers from the University of Lancashire, quoted by the Daily Mail. A study they recently published shows that daydreaming helps us become more creative and lighter.

Additionally, wishful thinking helps us regulate our emotions, becoming more empathetic and patient.

But there are also negative consequences of wishful thinking

There is not much scientific evidence on the advantages and disadvantages of wishful thinking because the phenomenon has not yet been studied.

How often it is normal to be in an imaginary scenario of a new day is not known exactly, but a warning sign should be given when we begin to build an alternative life in our minds. Imaginary life can deeply impact our professional and personal lives. We can no longer tell the difference between realistic and unrealistic plans. A person becomes significantly more vulnerable to the behavior of other people because of the high expectations that he has built in his head.

Professor Eli Somers, an Israeli psychotherapist, argues that in such situations we are talking about adaptation disorder, but it is not yet recognized by the medical community.

Uncontrolled wishful thinking can lead to depression and anxiety episodes where the person struggles to find motivation or resources to cope with problems.

Who is prone to wishful thinking and daydreaming?

It would be unfair to point the finger at a certain type of people who will engage in wishful thinking. However, there are some personality traits that can increase the chances of this happening.

Intuitive introverts

Intuitive introverts sometimes have difficulty expressing their thoughts and feelings, let alone describing their plans for the future. So, self-talk or a few minutes of daydreaming is what helps them organize their ideas and prepare for possible problems.

Empaths

Empaths are very sensitive to their environment and to people's personal problems. As a result of their ability to absorb energy, they often experience stress, anxiety or depression.

When reality is too harsh for them and they cannot find joy around them, they seek to escape into their imaginary world, where nothing disturbs their peace.

Daffodils

The narcissist will spend most of his time creating scenarios in which his grandiosity will help him gain power or become famous for those unique qualities. In their view, there is no room for failure or enough time to focus on the real problems or people around them.

An alternative reason why narcissists often fantasize may be due to their poor stress management skills.

Melancholic people

Melancholic people are never satisfied with superficial things, and therefore there must be something really special and interesting to bring them out of their shell.

When a conversation or event does not satisfy their interest, they hide in their mind, where they either analyze the past or contemplate the future.

Neurotics

Neurotics are known to be warriors and obsessed with problem solving. However, researchers have noticed that they are also very creative thinkers.

The explanation is given by their hyperactivity in the prefrontal cortex, which processes thoughts associated with threat. This is why a neurotic will spend so much time daydreaming.

How to stop wishful thinking and just dream?

If you find yourself lost in thoughts or imaginary scenarios more often than you should, try to understand the pattern or reason. Is it pain from the past that you can't heal? A goal you are passionate about achieving? Whatever the reason, stop daydreaming about it and find solutions that will help you overcome your problem/achieve your goal.

If you cannot find joy or circumstances weigh on you emotionally, try to find solutions that could solve the problems or help you distance yourself from them.

If you don't see a way out, seek professional help. There are many people and organizations who are ready to support and guide you.

There is an anecdote about a man who, after death, had the opportunity to choose whether to go to hell or heaven. He looked at paradise: beautiful landscapes, quiet music, sheep grazing in the meadow, peaceful smiling people around - boredom. Then he turned his gaze to hell: bars, restaurants, naked girls, casinos, money flowing - fun. Struck by what he saw, he chose hell; he had enough of a boring life on earth. And he fell straight into a boiling cauldron. “Where are the restaurants and the girls?” - he exclaimed. “So it’s for tourists. And you are here for permanent residence!” - the devils answered him.

This is how a person falls into his own traps. Knowing what hell is, he nevertheless prefers to see a luxurious life in it. And he turns out to be severely punished for wishful thinking.

Why does a person love to be in illusions so much?

Why traumatize yourself with the truth when you can successfully persuade your mind to do whatever you want. And if there are still people who will support you in your own illusions, that’s great. The desired becomes fixed in the consciousness. And if at first there were still some doubts that you, for example, are a genius of foreign policy, then after numerous flattering statements from people interested in your loyalty, you yourself are convinced that you are a genius.

By the way, falling into the net of flattery, which is nothing more than a trap for those who like to wishful thinking, they become victims of the manipulations of unscrupulous fellow citizens who build their careers and personal lives on their weaknesses. These cunning little people simply scour the world in search of gullible braggarts for whom the oil of lies is so sweet. Moreover, they have learned to deceive those who want to be deceived so skillfully that even the most blatant lie from their lips is perceived as a revelation. Remember the song of the fox Alice and the cat Basilio: “As long as braggarts live in the world, we must glorify our destiny, a braggart doesn’t need a knife, sing to him a little and do with him what you want.”

And among these braggarts there are smart people who are quite sensible and have a penchant for analysis. Why, when it comes to themselves, that is, an objective assessment of their personality, their efforts, talents and other merits, they turn into mere children who so love to come up with excuses for themselves.

A person is designed in such a way that he will always find an excuse for his unseemly actions, failures on the personal front, shortcomings of character and appearance. This is how we are structured; if it weren’t for this, we would probably have shot ourselves long ago from the awareness of our own imperfection. A saving lie elevates and consoles, preventing you from falling into depression and despondency. And at some point it even makes us happy. Not for long... But this happiness is as unreal as our fiction. Sooner or later, the fog clears and instead of a wonderful forest clearing with flowers and berries, we see a blank gray wall. Isn’t it better to immediately know that there is a wall there than to get hit on the head with a blow to the head, once convinced of its existence on your own forehead? Wishful thinking is not so bad; it’s much worse when you can’t pass off what you don’t want as invalid.

Bitter lie or saving truth

It’s worse when those around you fall within the radius of your illusions. For example, a husband invented from tail to head. “I molded him from what was there, and then I fell in love with what was there.” It’s good if it’s molded from what was, most often they are molded from non-existent material, and then they are bitterly disappointed that it turns out to be not made from gingerbread, but from solid iron.

And if you are also exposed to power, those around you are simply forced to reckon with and suffer from the twists and turns of your imagination. Have you ever wondered why entire nations suffer when they are commanded by those who do not know how to face the truth? I'm not even talking about a simple family. Children, spouses, loved ones, neighbors who are forced to suffer because someone prefers to wishful thinking.

But it turns out to be a double-edged sword. If you look the bitter truth in the eye, then life becomes gray, boring and inhospitable. If we resort to saving lies, the world becomes better only in our imagination. After all, if it is as beautiful as we came up with, why change it. Let everything be as it is. And so good!

What's the solution?

Secondly, stop being a child who needs to protect himself from life by inventing fairy tales about it. When we face the truth and don't hide from it in the bushes, we grow up. We accept the world as it is and take responsibility for our own lives, for our mistakes and imperfections. In this case, of course, we have no one to blame for our failures. And we need a certain courage to be fully aware of what surrounds us and what is happening. At the same time, we can also be wrong. They say fear has big eyes. These huge eyes are also a kind of illusion. That's why…

Third, get rid of fears and self-doubt. Which have not be avoided. And fear is such an insidious thing that itself attracts bad things. What you fear most usually happens. According to the law of attraction. Self-doubt is the same fear that was born in childhood, when we were weak and helpless and required care and guidance. Self-doubt is a rejection of yourself as you are, dislike of yourself, fear of mistakes, ridicule, etc. The hardest thing to get rid of. But it is they who make us wishful thinking and deform our lives. Start by simply admitting to yourself your fears. This is already half the battle.

Ultimately, allow yourself to be imperfect like our imperfect world. He is beautiful and harmonious and at the same time monstrous and terrible. Look at him with wide open eyes of truth. Hear, feel with all your senses, understand in all its diversity, feel that it is perfect even in its imperfection. And then you will not need to wishful thinking; you will learn to accept reality, turning it into desired.