What does shame mean in Spanish? Spanish shame: why we feel embarrassed for others

Have you ever felt shame for the ridiculous antics of other people, even complete strangers? They do stupid things, but shame on you... Has this ever happened? We inform you - you experienced Spanish shame!

Meaning of Spanish shame

The feeling of shame usually appears in front of people who will be judged for their statements or actions. This feeling appears and is strengthened by the presence in human society of generally accepted moral norms and a number of rules of behavior. But sometimes we feel ashamed not only for ourselves. And we blush not for our immoral behavior, but for the behavior of other people.

For example, for the bad behavior of a boorish child or when people expose their charms on the beach, and you are ashamed of them.

The reasons for such an unpleasant feeling may be your internal moral principles, concepts based on, of course, upbringing. When you experience Spanish shame, you seem to strive to take responsibility for someone. The first thing you will experience is embarrassment. It signals that what is happening is not normal and does not fall within the bounds of decency.

So, the feeling of embarrassment for a stranger is called Spanish shame. Let's try to find out why they say this and where the expression came from.

Why is shame Spanish and where did the expression come from?

In Russian, the expression “Spanish shame” appeared after 2000. There are several options for the origin of the expression.

First option:

Why Spanish? “Spanish shame” came from England, and is translated as spanish shame. And in the English language, this expression came from Spanish. In the original it is pronounced as verguenza ajena, which roughly translates as “shame for another.” The expression “Spanish shame” is not a psychological or scientific definition; rather, it is a colloquial term for a feeling of embarrassment and shame felt about the actions of other people.

Second option:

Another interpretation of the origin of the term, in which Spain has nothing to do with this phraseology at all, and the expression was originally pronounced in Hebrew, where “ispa” is translated as “aspen”.

In the famous apocryphal version, Judas, who betrayed Jesus, hanged himself from an aspen tree. The tree felt ashamed of his choice, although it was not his fault. But folk legends claim that the tree is punished, and ancient legends associate the trembling of the aspen branches with the curse of the Lord imposed for making a cross from it for the crucifixion of Jesus. Therefore, the expression “Spanish shame” is not a scientific formulation of a person’s mental state, it is a stable phrase or phraseological unit.

What the psychologist says

The phraseology “Spanish shame” is explained by the appearance of a painful emotion that arises from an understanding of stupidity in people’s behavior, which is not on par with the concepts of decency and moral standards.

Psychologist Elliot Aronson wrote in his book that “we often compare ourselves with the people around us, and this, in turn, increases our self-esteem.”

Watching a person behave immorally, we are satisfied with the humiliation of the poor fellow, flattering ourselves that we would never be in his place.

What conclusions can be drawn? You should be wary of individuals with a lack of conscience and poor upbringing. Normal behavior must be instilled in the process of socialization and upbringing of the child, so as not to end up with undesirable consequences.

Decency, politeness and tact should be instilled from a young age. But embarrassment serves as an indicator that something has gone wrong. We avert our eyes in order to thereby support someone who is in a difficult situation. Such sympathy is a wonderful impulse of the soul that makes us better. Therefore, you need to understand that Spanish shame is not a bad trait to describe a personality.

Why do you feel ashamed of others?

Psychologists name several reasons for Spanish shame:

Desire to take responsibility for the actions of others. When someone violates your ideas about moral norms and generally established standards of behavior and morality, you feel involved and responsible for this - as if you could correct the situation, but did nothing about it.
Comparing yourself with others. If a person like you finds himself in an awkward position, then you also tend to feel shame: he is the same as me, therefore I also look no better, and the advice torments you too! For example, at a corporate party, a not entirely sober employee danced a striptease, and you felt shame - all because you are from the same work team.
High level of empathy. The stronger your level of love for people, the more shame you will experience, and the more you want to protect the person from shame. This is an unsupported statement - scientists from the University of Lubeck in Germany have established and proven a connection between the level of empathy and a feeling of shame for others.
Bad memories. It happens that an absurd situation in which another person became a participant “brings back” in your memory a similar situation that previously happened to you. And under the influence of returning memories of ridiculous mistakes or inconvenient moments of the past, you feel awkward at the behavior of others today.
Perfectionism. The desire to constantly be, act and speak correctly - in other words, a neurosis that pushes you to demand the same from others. Everything around you must correspond to your ideas about the ideal, or you become ashamed of other people’s shortcomings.

How to avoid shame on others?

It is not always possible to escape a situation where you may feel ashamed of the behavior or words of other people. You can never guess when and what the people around you will do. We must not move away from this, but change our attitude and try to get rid of our complexes. Exactly this way and not otherwise, because in most cases you feel uncomfortable for others not because they are doing the wrong thing, but because you have psychological problems.

If the cause of your feeling of shame is empathy, then you can leave everything as it is - you’re ashamed, but you can’t do anything! But if you are used to taking the responsibility of others upon yourself and you are driven by a feeling of guilt, then you already need to work on yourself.

In addition, it is advisable to change your attitude towards yourself and towards people and learn to distinguish boundaries between yourself and other people - after all, all people are different. Those slurping popcorn in movie theaters, fighting in bars, talking nonsense from screens, drunken colleagues dancing striptease, rude car drivers and other individuals around you are not you! This may be the norm for them! And they are not ashamed at all! Why then do you feel Spanish shame for them? Do you need it?

Can you watch Bridget Jones's Diary? Me not. The “funny” situations that the main character finds herself in don’t seem like that to me at all. No, they give me a burning feeling of shame and a desire to immediately press “stop.” And I know I'm not the only one. Moreover, what my fellow sufferers and I feel even has a name - Spanish shame.

What does this have to do with Spain?

Runet claims that the expression “Spanish shame” came into Russian as a translation from English of the phrase Spanish shame, and that, in turn, is a translation of the Spanish vergüenza ajena, “shame for another.” This feeling in itself is not new, and geographic location does not affect the ability to experience it. However, the Spaniards were the first to come up with a separate name for this condition.

However, what is more interesting is not where the concept came from, but what makes you blush painfully while watching the mistakes of strangers. And, by the way, “to blush for others” is by no means a figurative expression.

Doctor, what's wrong with me?

“Shame “comes to life” not only in the psyche, but also in the body,” explains psychologist Arina Lipkina. - Once upon a time, we ourselves could find ourselves in an unpleasant situation, and now this “revival” forces us to hide from ourselves: stop watching the movie, turn away, leave the room, cross to the other side of the street. Not to be, not to be present, not to see.

We have projected what is happening onto ourselves and now try to suppress these memories. Ultimately, we are ashamed of our own shame, which each of us has experienced.”

We automatically consider a person who finds himself in an awkward situation guilty of violating the rules, public or private.

Why do we even feel shame and embarrassment for the actions of another? Psychologist Nadezhda Pylaeva believes that this happens if we:

1. We forbid ourselves a lot- in particular, to look awkward or stupid. The power of internal prohibition is so great that we avoid even looking at what is happening. This is also a sign that we do not accept ourselves - as we are, with all our shortcomings.

We acquire these internal prohibitions and attitudes throughout our lives. And shame itself is not an innate emotion: we “learn” to be ashamed between the ages of 3 and 7 years, thus reacting to reproach from others. Gradually, shame can turn from a reaction to specific external events into a habitual internal state.

2. Tend to take responsibility for the actions of others: We feel involved and believe that we can somehow influence the situation. We automatically consider a person who finds himself in an awkward situation to be “guilty” of violating the rules, public or unspoken.

“Shame, guilt and embarrassment belong to the triad of sociomoral emotions,” explains psychotherapist Alena Prikhidko. “They arise when our moral standards are affected and moral rules are violated.”

By expressing emotions out loud, we seem to be saying to others: “I would never do that, I’m not like them.”

3. We experience fear of rejection. Even in ancient times, expulsion from the tribe was the most terrible punishment, and we still experience horror at the thought that society could reject another (and perhaps ourselves) for ridiculous or inappropriate actions.

4. Identify ourselves with others, we consider ourselves part of the same group as the person who does the “wrong” things. And it’s us who are not good enough, and not this strange, awkward, awkward hero on the screen (or the stranger we met in real life).

“Shame and pride in another arise not only when this person belongs to the same small group as us: family, school class, department at work,” explains Alena Prikhidko, “but also when we both belong to the same large social a group whose membership is meaningful to us. For example, one psychologist may feel shame for another psychologist he is unfamiliar with, with whom he is united by belonging to a professional community.”

By expressing emotions out loud, we seem to be saying to others: “I would never do that, I’m not like them.”

Close to heart

When we witness the public mistakes of others, we all experience varying degrees of discomfort. It turns out that the reason for this is different levels of empathy: the higher it is, the more likely it is that we will blush for others, even strangers.

“This is proven by the results of a study conducted by employees of the University of Lübeck (Germany), explains Nadezhda Pylaeva. - It turns out that the feeling of shame for others and empathy are closely interrelated. Our tendency to empathize with others is the reason why we want to protect a person who finds himself in an awkward situation from shame.”

Watching the “shame” of the participants, some experience painful awkwardness, others mock

This is most clearly manifested when watching comedy and reality shows: watching the “shame” of the participants, some experience painful awkwardness, others mock (other people’s humiliations serve as fuel for their self-esteem).

Bridget and me

As an experiment, I force myself to rewatch Bridget Jones's Diary - a fragment where the heroine comes to a party dressed as a Playboy bunny. Everything comes together: identification (we are both women of about the same age, social status and even the same profession), and the fear of being ridiculed and rejected (one of the most common nightmares: I find myself naked in a public place), and a fairly high level of empathy.

The result is a suffocating wave of shame and burning cheeks. And it seems that I am experiencing this situation even more difficult than the heroine: unlike me, Bridget knows how to laugh at her shortcomings and ultimately accept herself for who she is. So I have a lot to learn from her, but that’s another story.

The feeling of shame most often arises in the face of the public, which condemns for what has been done or said. This feeling originates and is fueled by the presence in society of a generally accepted moral code and set of rules. But are we always ashamed only of ourselves?

A Kind of Shame

Usually you have to blush for your behavior. But the interesting fact is that the feeling of shame also comes for what you didn’t do. For example, for the bad behavior of your child or when a stranger kisses a girl on public transport, and you are ashamed of them. The reasons for such discomfort may be your internal taboo on such manners or the desire to take responsibility for someone.

The first signal that will inform about this is embarrassment. He says that the event that is taking place goes beyond convention. And the feeling of embarrassment for a stranger is called Spanish shame. We will talk about it further.

History of the expression

In Russian, the expression “Spanish shame” appeared after 2000; it came to us from English, where it sounds like spanish shame. And the ancestor of the phraseological unit was the Spanish term verguenza ajena, which, precisely, meant “shame for another.” True, there is another interpretation of the origin of the term, in which Spain is out of place, since it supposedly came to us from Hebrew, where “ispa” is translated as “aspen”.

In the popular apocryphal version, Judas, who betrayed Christ, hanged himself from an aspen tree. The tree felt ashamed of its choice, although it was not to blame. But, according to popular belief, the tree is punished, because ancient myths associate the trembling of its branches with God’s curse imposed for making a cross from it for the crucifixion of Christ.

Thus, one must understand that “Spanish shame” is not a scientific formulation of a psychological state, but an established judgment, namely a meme.

Semantic meaning

We have figured out the history of the origin of phraseological units. Now we will decipher the semantic load of the expression. "Spanish shame" means that someone feels embarrassed for the wrong actions of others. Psychologists claim that a feeling of shame for others arises when a person recognizes himself as part of a people who commit unseemly acts.

The criteria for membership can be varied: gender, age, position, external similarity. But if this general thing affects you, you will feel uncomfortable. This makes it obvious that different people have different attitudes towards one event. For example, at a banquet an unknown woman gets drunk and dances on the table - you may feel awkward or funny. If it was your friend, then you will probably feel a sense of shame.

Showing tact

The expression “Spanish shame” is determined by the emergence of a painful emotion that arose due to the awareness of the absurdity of the behavior of fellow citizens, which offends the concepts of decency and modesty. Psychologist Elliot Aronson wrote in his book that we often compare ourselves with the people around us, and this, in turn, increases our self-esteem. Looking at a person committing stupidity, we are satisfied with the humiliation of the poor fellow, mentally saying that we would never find ourselves in the role of a loser.

I don’t want to believe that it’s fun for us to watch others suffer and be humiliated. Meanwhile, television ratings and the number of video views on the Internet prove this hypothesis. If in life the mistakes of others do not always bring pleasure to those who witness them, then when in a movie an actor falls face first into a cake, this causes genuine laughter from many viewers. The survey revealed that the laughing subject experiences internal embarrassment, but it is accompanied by the consolation that someone else is worse off than he is.

What conclusions can be drawn?

Not only but also a society of self-sufficient and harmonious individuals. You should be wary of individuals with an atrophied sense of conscience. Decency must be regulated in the process of socialization and raising a child in order to avoid negative consequences. Decency is a positive symptom of the essence, if it is expressed in moderation. Confusion serves as a marker that something is wrong. We avert our eyes in order to “save face” for someone who is in a difficult situation - this is empathy, emotional sympathy, an excellent emotional impulse that makes us better. This means that it should be understood that Spanish shame is a positive personality trait.

“Spanish shame is a feeling of embarrassment or shame for others, for example, when a film character does something stupid and you feel ashamed”

Today is only Wednesday, and there is already a whole bag of sensational news related to Russia.

Ukraine brought us the first reason for pride. According to the data voiced by Babchenko and Mosiychuk, Russia spends all its free time from other “abominations” organizing assassinations, sabotage and other things that are terrible from a humanistic point of view on the independent territory.

So that you understand: “in Russia, a so-called “Ukrainian Center” has been created, which includes FSB officers who were involved in the Ukrainian direction, the Main Intelligence Directorate of the Russian Federation, and other security officials,” Mosiychuk said.

According to the people's deputy, the "Ukrainian Center" created by the special services of the Russian Federation is engaged in "sabotage activities, political provocations, information warfare, cyber warfare."

Probably, it is precisely because of the actions of these insidious FSB officers that there is still no heating and hot water in the capital of Ukraine, the population's debt to pay for utilities amounted to 38.4 billion hryvnia, cashiers at railway stations and supermarkets demonstrate everyday separatism, Hungary in Transcarpathia hands out his passports, and even the results of football matches clearly show the “Russian trace”.

However, Russians do not limit themselves to Ukraine alone.

For example, voters in Macedonia refused to support changing the name of their country in a referendum. It would seem that this referendum is of purely local interest. But the result was widely seen as a major victory for Vladimir Putin, a defeat for the EU and NATO, and yet another alarming example of Russia's ability and willingness to influence democratic processes in Western countries.

Before the referendum, Western officials warned that Moscow would try to reduce turnout in order to invalidate the vote.

How Moscow managed to convince Macedonians not to go to polling stations is bashfully kept silent. However, if Putin was able to elect a president in America, then a plebiscite in Macedonia, which is approximately the size of the Moscow region, is nothing more than a warm-up for him. Before the November elections to the US Congress and presidential elections in Ukraine.

The most cynical in its insidiousness turned out to be the “anti-Jedi conspiracy” exposed this week. Restless Russian trolls have encroached on the sacred. Namely, they unfairly slandered the last episode of the Star Wars saga. And thus they not only caused severe psychological trauma to the film crew and fans of the Jedi, but also desecrated the icon of American cinema. Most likely - to vulgarize the great American culture, humiliate and demoralize Hollywood, and provoke a revolution in America. For now - cultural. But this is just the beginning.

As for evidence of such a monstrous act of cinematic vandalism, American scientist (!) Morten Bay from the University of South Carolina analyzed angry messages on Twitter addressed to the director of the eighth episode of the Star Wars film saga, Rian Johnson, and sent to him during the first seven months after the film's premiere , and found out that at least 16(!) accounts supposedly(!) belonged to Russians. So, one of them sent Johnson 13 angry “tweets” over three weeks, claiming that he “destroyed Star Wars.” Bay was able to track Russian bots using examples of the influence of Moscow social media (!) described in other scientific works (!) during the US election campaign, as well as the British Brexit.

Agree, this is wonderful! At this rate, we are discrediting both “American Pie” and “Police Academy.” For the sole purpose of causing “dissent and dysfunction in American society.”

Well, now the cherry on the cake. The notorious “Skripal case”, which every day more and more resembles “Santa Barbara”.

It would be strange if the trace of tourists from Salisbury were not found in Ukraine. And here it is - the revelation of the week!

To say that this is funny is to say nothing. But since virtually all of Ukraine from the first days took an active part in the quest “Put the owl on the globe or Find/identify Petrov/Boshirov/Chepiga,” this is not surprising. Moreover, I would not be surprised if in the near future Ukraine declares that it was two from Salisbury (one of whom is a Hero of Russia and, according to the latest data, also Putin’s personal security guard) who were snipers on the Maidan, personally guarded Yanukovych and took Crimea. Moreover, at the same time.

By the way, since we are talking about the most fascinating investigation of the year, which is acquiring more and more new details, I also risked conducting an experiment)

But this is so, a side note for those who are haunted by the laurels of the facial recognition system. Everyone sees what they want to see. And if you are convinced that Chepiga and Boshirov are one person, then no arguments will make you change your mind.

In general, as you can see for yourself, it’s going well. And such mass hysterics on different flanks of the information front are always provoked with one goal. Divert attention. From what exactly - one can only guess. Maybe from the transfer of S-300 to Syria. Perhaps from the Serbian president’s visit to Moscow and his agreements with Putin, which remained a secret to the press and public. Or maybe someone is simply offended that, despite all the time, effort and money spent, it turned out that the ungrateful and stupid world loves Russia and Putin more than America.

And this is a very bad trend) This is no longer a Star Wars rating.

This is a serious sign of dissent and dysfunction. But no longer in American society. And all over the world...

Doctor, what's wrong with me?

We automatically consider a person who finds himself in an awkward situation guilty of violating the rules, public or private.

We have projected what is happening onto ourselves and now try to suppress these memories. Ultimately, we are ashamed of our own shame, which each of us has experienced.”

Why do we even feel shame and embarrassment for the actions of another? Psychologist Nadezhda Pylaeva believes that this happens if we:

We acquire these internal prohibitions and attitudes throughout our lives. And shame itself is not an innate emotion: we “learn” to be ashamed between the ages of three and seven, thus reacting to reproach from others. Gradually, shame can turn from a reaction to specific external events into a habitual internal state.

Watching the “shame” of the participants, some experience painful awkwardness, others mock

By expressing emotions out loud, we seem to be saying to others: “I would never do that, I’m not like them.”