The birth of monasticism. The origin of monasticism And not in a monastery, and not in a family, how can one be saved?

Path of the Monk (mystical path)

Speaking about this path, we must shift our attention to the emotional component of human nature. To streamline human experiences and curb them becomes one of the main tasks of a person who has chosen the path of a monk.

Those who follow this path rely on the transformative power of love, and accordingly look for all sorts of ways to open up to this love, to allow it to completely absorb oneself.

The attention of a person following the path of a monk is directed to the heart center; perception of the world through the heart allows a person to gradually abandon emotions of a destructive, aggressive nature.

He who follows the path of a monk develops in himself the qualities of a sensitive perception of the world, responsiveness to the suffering of other people, gentleness, humility and renunciation of earthly values.

This is achieved largely through methods of focusing attention on the corresponding planes of existence. For example, continuous prayer to the Lord is one of the most serious tools for working on oneself. That is why the rosary, which allows one to organize and control the pronunciation of prayers, is revered as the main tool of a monk. The mystical path, based primarily on faith in the transformative power of the descending flow of grace, involves a much faster revelation of a person compared to the path of the fakir.

Common practices for the path of the fakir and the path of the monk are methods of limiting the physical needs of the body. However, the understanding of these forms of work is different. In monasticism, any bodily limitation ceases to be an end in itself. More often it is assumed that there is a connection between physical need and one or another emotional disorder.

An ordered calendar of fasts, with clear regulation of permitted food, in particular, has the function of guiding the monastic through the stages of pacifying the physical and mental components of a person.

Since limiting the objects of attention on this path becomes a crucial practice, “withdrawal from the world” is necessary for a full monastic experience. Monastic life and limiting contacts with the opposite sex are practically obligatory conditions for anyone who has chosen this path.

Mentoring from people with extensive experience on this path is an obligatory component of such work on oneself. The system of obedience and complete openness to the mentor strengthen the system of dependence of the follower on his spiritual father.

This path is also called mystical. After all, a person who opens himself to an unknown flow of grace finds himself confronted by a mystery of mystery continuously unfolding before him. The monk does not seek conscious comprehension of this secret; moreover, he is inclined to consider the very attempt at comprehension to be blasphemy, a reproach to God. He comprehends only partially the nature of the changes occurring to him, relying more on his sensory experience. The monastic learns to feel subtly, because it is the emotional sphere (the human astral body) that turns out to be the main source of information on this path.

A considerable difficulty for a person walking along the path of a mystic monk is communication. After all, he simply needs to somehow convey his spiritual experience. The mystic is faced with the most difficult task of describing things that are unknowable from his point of view in terms of a completely earthly, human language.

Subjectively, the mystic is fully aware of the conventionality of the terminology used, which, in general, disgusts him. The mystic completely trusts his experience and the experience of joint meditations - prayers, believing that otherwise there is no way to give outsiders the necessary experience of spiritual growth.

When the mystic finds some, from his point of view, the most adequate form of presentation of the principles of the path, he cannot prove their truth in any way. The mystic does not believe in any system of external evidence at all. And therefore his formulations give rise to dogmas. A certain code of doctrinal statements is accepted on the mystical path as not requiring additional evidence from the experience of previous generations. This, for example, is the principle of the formation of “sacred tradition” in Orthodox churches. Outside the walls of the monastery, monastic practice most often turns out to be incomplete. Although there are concepts of “secret tonsure” and “monk in the world,” it is quite difficult to realize the mystical path in everyday life. Most often, such attempts lead to the actual establishment of something like a monastery within the same house. A person is forced to change his lifestyle so clearly that those around him cease to perceive him as a worldly person. Such phenomena are quite common in Orthodoxy, where the mystical path turns out to be the main method of human development.

That is why Orthodox Christianity finds its ideal realization in monasticism, that is why the institution of eldership and the veneration of spiritual fathers is rapidly developing, and that is why extreme forms of the mystical path come into conflict with other spiritual paths. The path based on mystical faith is considered the only correct one, since a different attitude significantly reduces the ability to concentrate on the ideal.

As a result of inaccurate concentration or unqualified leadership, the mystical path easily degenerates into blind, emotionally charged forms of manifestation of an overdeveloped astral (emotional) plane. Outside the monastery walls, this leads to the emergence of pseudo-religious organizations of a militant, nationalist nature, and takes on the character of a continuous search for “infidels” and “heretics.” Of course, this no longer has anything to do with the spiritual path.

Another obvious possible trouble with following the path of a monk is that the physical (volitional) and mental centers remain without proper development. A monk feels a lot, but can do little and knows even less. In this he is like a developed dog with a deep gaze and “understanding everything.” But such a dog can neither say nor do anything. And if for higher animals the development of such emotional (astral) sensitivity is the pinnacle of their evolution, a worthy result of life and the basis for subsequent incarnations, then for humans this is often not enough.

Of course, in reality the situation is rarely so one-sided, because one way or another human life encourages all centers to develop. And correctly organized following the path of a monk (taking into account at least the fact of the presence of other centers in a person) leads seekers to quite tangible results. Many people, revered as saints, have gained the opportunity to transform precisely on the path of the mystical, monastic transformation of their astral body.

Every Orthodox person at some point faces the question of which path to choose: family life or monasticism? The Monk Paisius the Holy Mountain spoke about how to resolve it and what these paths are, whose instructions are presented to your attention in this article.

Hood. Vladimir Egorovich Makovsky

Every person, having reached a certain age, finds himself at a crossroads in life and sometimes does not know what to choose: the path of family life or monasticism. Elder Paisiy Svyatogorets tried to help such people and reminded that, first of all, it is necessary for oneself to understand what a person’s purpose is. According to him, one must always remember that the meaning of life is to achieve the Kingdom of Heaven, where two God-blessed paths lead. Both of these paths are different, but lead to the same goal. The most important thing is that those walking along one path do not judge those walking along another. Monasticism or family life in themselves does not make a person a saint, an heir to the longed-for paradise. Both of these paths have their own sorrows and troubles. Only personal curiosity and a diligent desire to strive for good deeds sanctify a monk or family man. Father Paisiy said: “Does he want to get married? Let him marry, but try with zeal to become a good head of the family and live a holy life. Does he want to become a monk? Let him become a monk, but try hard to become a good monk.” .

“The meaning of life is to reach the Kingdom of Heaven, where two paths blessed by God lead. Both of these paths are different, but lead to the same goal.”

A person going to a monastery should make sure that his desires are exclusively aimed at serving God, and not satisfying his own selfish thoughts inspired by pride. For if he did not start a family because in his youth he indulged in carnal passions, and now, tired of an unbridled life, hastily becomes a monk, it is very doubtful that in a monastery such a person will be able to fill the emptiness of his heart.

The main thing is that young people make their choice decisively and do not have pride and selfishness. Because sometimes young people consider themselves to be somehow special and save themselves for something exceptional, not like everyone else. “One might think that they are gold and they are afraid that they, like a simple piece of iron, will be used in a reinforced concrete structure.”, - said the old man.

Some are afraid to make a choice because they consider the current times difficult. The elder said to this that this position is wrong, because if you have trust in Christ, then nothing is scary.

“Young people should try to avoid superficial enthusiasm for monasticism or family life”

Monastic path

Monasticism is a special path of grace to which God himself calls a person. Elder Paisios wrote a lot about the deep meaning of monasticism in the Orthodox Church. The monk goes far, far away from the world because he loves the world and wants to help it with his prayer. He leaves from where something might interfere with his prayer, and goes to where he can perform pure and unceasing prayer for the whole world. If a worldly person, showing a benefit to someone, helps with a pack of cereal or a pair of boots, then a monk, with his incessant prayerful standing, provides material assistance to the whole world, since the Good God, through his humble prayer, gives food to those in need. Great tonsure. 1898, art. Mikhail Nesterov Some argue that monks are lazy and do nothing and do not bring any benefit to the world. But the elder reminded that even before becoming monks, they leave the world, distributing to the needy their worldly property, which they no longer need. Thus, they bring great benefit to those in need while living in the world.

“Before entering a monastery, a young man or girl needs to mature internally”

The novice needs to forget the world and everything worldly. To do this, he will be obliged to avoid meeting with worldly people, with visitors and relatives.

Before entering a monastery, a young man or girl needs to mature internally. Because every monk (or nun) is called to have fatherly love for those who come for advice from the world. It is also necessary to be attentive to junior monks (nuns). This is important, because a monk who has not matured will always demand care for himself, but will not take care of others, as he should.
Spiritual nourishment, art. Vasily Ivanovich Navozov After entering the monastery, a new novice, and subsequently a monk, should not be deluded by the fact that he is changing outwardly. He must pay special attention to his internal change - transformation. In this regard, the words of Elder Paisios about himself are instructive: “My greatest enemy is the exaltation of monastic rank. Woe to the monk who only changes his name, and then does not acquire silence, and generally begins to imagine things about himself that do not exist in reality.” .

Unlike Christians in the world, monastics are obliged to pray unceasingly. A monk must use every temptation from the devil as a reason for prayer. It is necessary to pray that the Lord will help overcome passions.

“The life of a monk is a sacrifice. This is the essence of monasticism."

The path of family life

If a young man has decided to get married, then he faces a difficult task - choosing a bride. Father Paisiy gave the young men advice on what, first of all, they should pay attention to when choosing a life partner.

According to the elder, the most important thing is that the girl, the future wife, is after her heart. In addition, it is good that she has such qualities as simplicity, humility, reliability, courage, so that she has the fear of God.
Wedding in the Orthodox Church, art. Andrey Kartashov. Speaking about the character of the future bride, Father Paisiy noted that a young man should not look for a soul mate with the same character as his. It’s better when the bride’s personality, disposition and character are different. Because the different characters of the future husband and wife complement each other, which is what makes up family happiness. For example, the husband is decisive, but the wife is not. In this case, the husband will make decisions in an extreme situation and will help his wife overcome her inappropriate prudence, and the wife, in times of danger, will be able to “slow down” her husband’s careless ardor. This way the family will always remain strong. The elder gave this clear example: “In a car you need both pedals: gas and brake in order to stop in time. If the car had one brake, it would not move, and if it only had an accelerator, it would not be able to stop.”. In addition, the difference in the characters of the spouses allows the children to be in a state of balance: the father’s strictness keeps the children in line, and the mother’s kindness helps them develop freely. Therefore, neither the groom nor the bride should under any circumstances break their character - they just need to start using it correctly, so that it benefits the family.

“The most important thing is that the girl, the future wife, is after her heart”

There is no more complex thing on earth than human relationships. And the relationship between husband and wife is doubly complex. The husband and wife need to learn and demonstrate in their lives all those virtues that are necessary for all Orthodox Christians. At the basis of the life of the spouses, at the core of their relationship, there should always be: love and humility, spiritual nobility, sacrifice, patience, which begins with love and pain for a loved one, the constant cultivation of good, meek thoughts. Patience is needed to tolerate each other's quirks and keep the family from falling apart. Humility - to be lenient towards the shortcomings and weaknesses of the spouse. It’s good when spouses have, as the elder put it, a “good quarrel,” that is, when spouses constantly strive to take over each other’s responsibilities, to work more so that the other can rest more. When the elder was asked who in the family should do household chores, he answered: “Whoever succeeds first gains...” .
Hood. Panov Eduard. Daily reading and knowledge of the Gospel and the desire to implement it in family life also greatly contribute to a good atmosphere in the family.

A husband must love his wife. This love should be so strong and complete that it can overflow and be transmitted to everyone around. The wife, in turn, is obliged to honor her husband. This respect should even turn into a kind of reverence, as before a shrine. Because for any wife, the husband is a shrine. In no case should a wife contradict her husband, because this is a cheeky disposition unworthy of a true Christian. If spouses have such deep feelings of love for each other, then they feel closeness even at a distance. And if there are no such feelings, then they will be far from each other, even if they are nearby. However, Elder Paisios warns all spouses that one cannot love a husband or wife more than God. Such distorted love leads to divorce. People don’t understand why at first they lived in perfect harmony, and then their relationship fell apart sharply, and there is nothing left but to get a divorce.

Also, the cause of divorce is often the infidelity of one of the spouses. However, in such cases, the elder persuaded the injured party to endure with all his might, pray as much as possible, behave kindly with the one who cheated, and not lead to divorce, because the utmost love, patience, compassion of the injured party returns the culprit to the good path , because his (or her) heart softens seeing such devotion.

Elder Paisios says the same thing about betrayal as he does about injustice. That is, that it should be treated spiritually. A spouse in any situation should not say: “I’m right.” Spouses, even if they are right, do not have the right to be right. They should always strive to bring peace to another.

The birth of children is a blessing from God. Therefore, you should not make your own plans, but it is best to blame the problem of childbirth on God. Nowadays, many families are subjected to such an ordeal as infertility. The elder believed that there could be many reasons for this. Sometimes infertility befalls those women who, when they had the health to give birth, were picky and did not want to get married. And having gotten married at an old age, they could not conceive and give birth to a child. But infertility is not always a consequence of a sinful, wrong life. The Lord has his own plan of salvation prepared for each person. Therefore, God immediately gives a child to someone, but is slow to give to someone else. Everything is the Will of God. “Spouses should always be ready to accept the will of God into their lives. God does not abandon a person who trusts himself to Him.”. A married couple should treat the fact that they have no children with great humility, because God, “seeing that spouses experiencing difficulties in connection with the birth of children have humility, ... can not only give them a child, but also make them have many children” .

“A husband must love his wife. This love must be so strong and complete that it can overflow and be transmitted to everyone around him.”

In general, in a family you need to be content with little and give alms to those in need. Elder Paisios said: “By giving alms to those in need, a person helps himself and his family.” .

In addition, a prayer rule should be performed daily in the family. It is good for parents to pray together for at least some time. Children also need to be present at prayer, but there should be no pressure on them - the duration of children's prayer depends on age. In a family, it is very important for everyone to sit down at the table together; before eating, you must read a prayer. If spouses have different spiritual development, they should adapt to each other and together strive for perfection with reasoning.

Father Paisius himself helped people most of all, both families and monastics, through prayer, but at the same time he instructed those who came to him. And the words of the reverend elder provide great help to many people to this day.
Paisiy Svyatogorets, elder. Testimony of pilgrims. M.: Sretensky Monastery Publishing House, 2011. - P. 81.

Paisiy Svyatogorets, elder. A word about parents and their responsibilities. M.: Holy Mountain, 2011. - P. 14.

Right there. - P. 15.

Paisiy Svyatogorets, elder. Words. T. IV. Family life. M.: Holy Mountain, 2001. - P. 165.

By making vows, a newly minted monk or monk becomes not a master, but a servant - to God and people. The vow of obedience consists in cutting off one’s own will and following the will of God, which is revealed through voluntary obedience to the Abbot and all the brethren.

“Monasticism is not a human institution, but a Divine one, and its purpose is to remove the Christian from the vanities and cares of the world, to unite him, through repentance and crying, with God, revealing the Kingdom of God in him from here on out,” says Saint Ignatius Brianchaninov. “The mercy of the mercies of the King of kings is when He calls a person to monastic life, when in it he gives him prayerful crying and when, through the communion of the Holy Spirit, he frees him from the violence of passions and leads him into the anticipation of eternal bliss.”

Many modern people do not understand the meaning of monasticism. Monasticism, blessed by the Church, is the path to Christ, to finding eternal life in Him. The word "monk" in Greek means "lonely", "hermit". In Russian - “monk”, that is, different, different. Anyone who wishes to become a monk, after the appropriate test, takes vows of chastity (celibate, familyless life), non-acquisitiveness (lack of property) and obedience to the Hierarchy and spiritual father. With their work, as a visible embodiment of active love, the monks created a semblance of heaven on earth - today's Valaam, even after half a century of ruin, is one of the most striking examples of this.

But this is not the main purpose of a monk. Prayer for those near and far, for “those who hate and those who love,” for the whole world lying in sin (and, perhaps, still standing only thanks to the prayer of the righteous and ascetics) - this is the main work of a monk. Having purified their hearts through prayer, many monks lovingly helped people and were able to heal them from mental and physical ailments.

In the Valaam Monastery there are several steps on the path to monasticism: laborer, novice, monk and monk. In the old days, each stage lasted 3 years. Nowadays, the period of monastic experience has decreased somewhat. However, here, as elsewhere, there are exceptions - there are people who prepare for monastic tonsure several times longer than usual. That is, passing these stages is a purely individual matter and depends on the personal qualities of the candidate.

It is believed that the first monastics were the Lord Jesus Christ Himself and the Most Holy Theotokos, who contained within themselves the entire depth of the feat that every monk strives for.

But officially, the beginning of the very institution of cenobitic monasticism was laid by the Monk Pachomius the Great (c. 292-348). And in many Athos churches this can be seen iconographically: to the right of the entrance to the temple is depicted the Monk Pachomius in secular clothing, and next to him is the angel of God in monastic attire. And the angel points his finger at the doll worn on his head, and holds in his other hand a scroll with the inscription: “By this image you will be saved.” That is, by walking this path, completing your feat in this image, you will be able to achieve perfection, inaccessible in the world, among its noise and bustle.

In Rus', monasticism began almost simultaneously with the adoption of Christianity. The founders of monasticism in Rus' were the Monks Anthony and Theodosius, who lived in the Kiev Pechersk Monastery.

The abbot of the Valaam Monastery, Bishop Pankratius of Trinity, says: “Monasticism is a gift of God, using which a person can ascend to the God-like heights of Calvary and partake of the perfection to which each of us is called. The fathers perceived monasticism as a health resort, a hospital where not only perfect people come, but also the suffering and the sick, seeking healing. And our repentance begins, to which every Christian is a priori called with denial: this is impossible, this is not allowed, don’t go there, don’t say this, don’t eat this. And, from the point of view of people who are not churchgoers, who are not believers, monks are the poorest and most unfortunate people. But this is not really the case. After all, as the fathers said:

If the world knew the bliss with which the Lord consoles his chosen ones, the monastics, then the whole world would renounce everything and follow this blessed calling.

Those entering the path of monastic life must have a firm decision: “to renounce the world,” that is, to renounce all worldly interests and develop the spirit in themselves - the highest part of the soul, fulfilling the will of their spiritual leaders in everything.

Anyone who arrives at a monastery and has a desire to devote himself to monastic deeds should not have circumstances holding him back in the world - in the form of elderly parents, a spouse, minor children, unpaid debts or prosecution. Nothing should connect the inhabitant with the world, therefore, when leaving the world, one should cut off all one’s attachments and connections with it.

Anyone who wants to escape from problems and does not want to learn how to solve them in the world does not stay long in a monastery, as practice shows. Life in a monastery is a constant, unceasing struggle with the devil and with oneself. And this struggle requires, in addition to complete trust in God, enormous internal efforts and enormous willpower. The weak-willed and weak-willed simply cannot stay here.

Monastic life, or monasticism, is the lot of only a few who have a “calling.”

This “calling” is an irresistible inner desire for monastic life in order to completely devote oneself to serving God. As the Lord said: “Whoever can contain it, let him contain it.” (Matt. 19:12). Saint Athanasius the Great writes in his writings: “Two are the essence of the rank and state in life: one is ordinary and characteristic of human life, i.e., marriage, the other is angelic and apostolic, above which there cannot be, i.e., virginity or state monastic."

There is a widespread opinion in the church environment that an Orthodox person is given only two paths to salvation - marriage or a monastery. But today, due to a number of circumstances, more and more people find themselves alone in the world, and are often condemned as selfish for such a lifestyle. Is this attitude justified, and is there a middle way for a Christian? Archpriest Maxim Pervozvansky, editor-in-chief of the magazine "Heir".

Find out your heart and the will of God

You need to understand that life goes on as usual - today it is one, tomorrow a little different, the day after tomorrow a third. And in this course of life, you need to know, firstly, the location of your heart, understand where it lies, what, simply put, I am truly drawn to. Moreover, it is important here to separate temporary infatuation from serious and constant diligence of the heart.

For example, if I always felt a calling to the monastic life, and then suddenly I fell in love, what does that mean, that I need to get married? Not at all, this means that I need to wait until this love subsides and understand whether I really want to build a family life, have children, and so on.

Or I always wanted to have a family and felt that it was mine, and then suddenly I met an elder, or I went on a pilgrimage trip and became interested in the monastic theme. Does this mean that I now need to become a monk? No. That is, you need to separate your basic heart trend from some, perhaps strong, powerful, but temporary emotional mood swings. This is not always easy to do, but it is necessary so as not to make a mistake.

And secondly, we need to try to understand what the Lord expects from us, what He calls us to. We all want to live, but God may call us to die. So it is here - we may want one thing, but the Lord clearly calls us to another. Of course, it is easy to formulate a desire - it would be good for us to know the will of God. But it is very difficult to recognize this desire.

Sometimes there are some signs (although I do not encourage them to look for and spread mysticism) when the Lord, through meetings, events, even obvious miracles or someone’s words, shows us His will. And sometimes we know the will of God precisely through the general dispensation of our hearts. As it is said: “The Lord will give you according to your heart and fulfill all your counsel” - if you want a family, then the Lord will most often give you this family.

I want to get married, but I don’t have anyone?

The older I get, the more convinced I am that those people who complain that they really wanted to get married, but the Lord does not allow it, actually didn’t really want it, or they didn’t want it that way. That is, the words are spoken alone, but in the heart something else. We behave in a certain way, pose, present ourselves when we want to get married. Therefore, when a person “gets divorced,” as a rule, he does not have problems finding a person and starting a family. But often people who say “I want to get married” are actually preoccupied with something else in real life. This could be study, career, some kind of family troubles, etc. - a lot of things that absorb deep interest and human energy.

Or a person gets into this position: “Yes, I want to marry, but I don’t have anyone!” And try to explain. This is also an internal position, a certain readiness to reject any proposal in advance - either the horse is not white enough, or the prince is not slender enough, or the armor is not so polished. As you know, those who have a desire are looking for an opportunity, those who have no desire are looking for a reason.

The same applies to monasticism. You can think as much as you like that now there are no normal monasteries, and the confessors have transferred out, and it is not known how to be saved. But in fact, there are confessors, and monasteries, and ideas on how to be saved. But after the Fall, we are all spiritually disabled. Our thoughts and feelings are confused, we lack clarity of desires, constancy of aspirations, and so on. We cannot understand ourselves or the world; we can only make claims.

Of course, it’s wrong, and in no case should you get married if you don’t want it, if there’s no love, if there’s no desire to start a family, have children, make your other half happy, try to somehow build your own house, acquire a household, educate , teach and so on. Of course, you don’t need to go to a monastery if you don’t want to be a monk, if your heart doesn’t burn for service, for obedience, for prayer. It can be very difficult for a person to understand himself and the will of God. And if he fails to do this - he neither got married nor went to a monastery, then often he does not know what he wants in this life.

Apostle Paul: “He who gives his virgin in marriage does well; but the one who does not give out does better.”

Family is a truly serious and difficult test for a Christian. This is understood very well by people who have recently gotten married. Previously, you often went to services, stood, prayed, but now you have a child in your arms, he is capricious, crying, and you are forced, instead of standing at the service, to jostle with the child in the dressing room, or come only to the Lord’s Prayer. Or before, you read akathists and canons, had the opportunity to calmly, without getting irritated, do some housework, but now you can only read something while running, and you curse all the time from fatigue.

Family life is not so blissful and not as magnificently orthodoxly organized as young people think. And there are a lot of things in it that interfere with spiritual life. Indeed, such intensity of visiting a temple, individual prayer, achieving inner spiritual peace, inner order is very difficult to achieve. Family life is vanity, turmoil, and nerves, especially if people are trying to live Orthodoxy and have children.

I often communicate with Orthodox family people who say: “Yes, we have practically no spirituality in the family, we don’t have time to talk with our children about God or pray normally. Either homework, then cooking, working three jobs with my father, whom we don’t see, or something else, we’re all kind of twitchy.” Yes, of course, organizing spiritual life in a family is difficult. But all this is justified and paid off by only one thing, what we talked about before - living not for yourself. Family life kills selfishness.

Of course, the monastic path is more direct, because there selfishness is killed by obedience, and there is everything for spiritual growth - daily worship, cell prayer, a confessor. And the temptations that await the monk are purely spiritual. But only a person with a serious inner disposition towards monastic life will be able to pull them off. A person should not have a temporary passion for monasticism, but rather a predisposition, a love for solitude, prayer, God, to whom you want to devote your whole life. And then, of course, this is a more direct path.

Why is the “middle path” dangerous?

It is often customary for us to blame people who did not end up in a monastery or start a family for selfishness. This is due precisely to the fact that both the monastic path and the family path force a person to live not for himself. A person who is either in a monastery or in a family, in most cases, simply cannot live for himself; this implies the very way of monastic or family life. And this is precisely the basis of Orthodox asceticism: “Deny yourself, take up your cross and follow Me.” And in modern life, when a person lives alone, he has the opportunity to live for himself.

It wasn't like this before. Just 100 years ago, living alone was much more difficult than living with a family. It is no coincidence that “spouses”, in the literal meaning of the word, is a pair of oxen. That is, it was much harder to pull the plow of life alone than with two people. And a person of sound mind and sober memory could not choose a lonely life for himself. And now it is possible. If a person has a home, a good job, when he comes home, he can not think about lessons with the children, dinner for the whole family, or, if we are talking about a monastery, running to obedience. A person is not obliged to do what he does not want: he wanted - went to bed, he wanted - read a book, he wanted - turned on the TV, he wanted - he prayed, he wanted - he went on a pilgrimage, he wanted - he went to service, and so on. You may want little, but you can do it. And this, in general, is not good from the point of view of saving the soul.

And when they say that in any case one must either get married, get married, or go to a monastery, it is understood that these are two main saving paths for a person. And the path of single life is more difficult, because there are many more temptations and opportunities to live for yourself. And in this situation, if a person has not chosen either a family or a monastery for himself, he needs to make special efforts to live not for himself - to engage in charity, social activities, be a member of a youth association at a church, etc. And then it will not be possible to say that such a life is less saving than life in marriage or a monastery.

But there are more difficulties. When you are young, when you have a lot of energy, you go to orphanages, nursing homes, and so on, then at some point you just become lazy. And you look, the man is already 40-50 years old, but he doesn’t need anything, he’s tired of life. In family life or a monastery, whether you like it or not, you have to do something. For example, you want to sleep, but your child has a stomach ache - like it or not, you get up, go get some medicine, start to console him, lull him to sleep, and so on. Or if you are a monk, then in the morning, whether you like it or not, you go to service in the morning, then to obedience.

When you are alone, this is difficult to implement - you even do acts of mercy whenever you want. Therefore, it is very important to create a situation for yourself where you will be forced to do something you don’t want to do.

There is a wonderful story. Once upon a time, the young Lao Tzu was walking along one of the roads in China and met an old man who dug a hole next to his field. Water appeared at the bottom of the hole, steps led down to the water, the old man scooped up water with wineskins, climbed up and carried this water to his garden. Lao Tzu looked at him and said: “Father, let me give you a hint: you put two sticks here, another one here, tie a waterskin to a rope, and you won’t have to go down.” And he looked at him and said: “Young man, do you really think that I don’t know how the crane well works? But a person who uses mechanisms becomes like a mechanism himself and loses confidence in the promptings of his own spirit.”

A terrible misfortune of modern society, especially urban society, is alienation from life, from its meaning. Of course, a crane is baby talk compared to the things we are used to using - pressing a button, a kettle boiling water, a washing machine, a dishwasher, and so on. We do not understand how vegetables and animals grow; we live in concrete cages, not understanding or knowing how living life works. And it is precisely because of this terrible alienation that it is extremely difficult for one person to create a spiritual life for himself.

You come home and have nothing to do, and here are the modern temptations of social networks, television, and so on. That is why it is preferable, if there is heartfelt diligence, to realize either family life or go to a monastery.

And not in a monastery, and not in a family, how can one be saved?

Any change in life requires a change in life, forgive the tautology. But the person is not ready to change his life. It is clear that if you are a 90-year-old woman with three disabilities and live in dilapidated housing, then this is one thing, but if you are a healthy man or young woman, and at the same time you cannot move yourself in any way, this no longer evokes sympathy.

If you move from a city to a village, there are many advantages - fresh air, farm products, fishing, but you will lose something, some amenities - you will have to light the stove, shovel snow from the porch.

As the cat Matroskin said, “to sell something unnecessary, you need to buy something unnecessary.” Loss is always inevitable, and people are not ready for this. This is why many people do not get married. And the older a person gets, the more difficult it is for him to do this - he can already adequately assess losses and risks.

There is no desire, internal, a person can declare it, but in reality it does not exist. Maybe I don’t have the strength, I don’t blame him, because we are all spiritually disabled, but there are a lot of recipes: you can join some kind of community; you can sell an apartment in Moscow and buy a good-quality house near a monastery; You can, like one of my friends, go hitchhiking and see how people live.

Even if a person is over 50, he has been caring for a sick relative all his life, for example, and things didn’t work out with his family, he can still start a family. How? For example, go to the nearest orphanage and first offer your help. It is clear that we do not know our own strengths, there is no need to talk about adoption, but we can work with the child, and then, if something works out, take patronage over him. And this is how a family is created, something that helps a person live and be saved.

Therefore, if a person is ready, he has a million possibilities, and water does not flow under a lying stone. But, as St. Seraphim of Sarov said, there are few who are saved, because there is little determination. This applies to both monastic and family life.

Recorded by Maria Stroganova?