Reasons for aggressive human behavior, how to deal with aggression.

Instructions

Aggression is a kind of defensive reaction of the body. Bursting out in outbursts of anger, it helps to rid a person of overwhelming emotions and anxieties. But the problem is that not everyone is capable of this; some are afraid of appearing bad, while others are afraid of appearing weak. In fact, it is very important to allow yourself to be angry, because... this is a completely natural emotion.

Try to get rid of the beliefs that hold back your nature and do not judge yourself, wanting to free yourself from accumulated emotions. If you need to express your emotions, don't be afraid to do so. You can box with a pillow, write an angry letter to the offender and burn it, shout in a deserted place, etc.

The best way to deal with internal aggression is to directly tell the offender that something has angered you. But keep in mind that you can’t always express everything to a person’s face. You can address the person who offended you through the mirror. Replay the situation that made you angry again, imagine in the mirror the one who angered you and tell him everything you think about him. After that, try to understand and forgive him. Sincere forgiveness will help you free yourself from aggression and anger.

Most often, people get angry in the same situations. Try keeping a journal and writing down everything that made you angry during the day. Describe the situation and your feelings at the same time. Perhaps you will be able to understand that sometimes you yourself provoke certain behavior of others towards you.

Uncontrolled outbursts of irritability and aggression can greatly harm you, ruining your personal life or career. Therefore, you need to learn to cope with sudden attacks of anger. The easiest way to deal with your emotions is to take a deep breath and count to ten. You can take a walk, because... movement can help relieve tension. If you feel an increase in aggression within yourself, try to mentally put yourself in the other person's shoes. Think, perhaps he is right about something and he has reasons for such behavior.

Try not to pay attention to annoying little things. Start living as if this is the last day of your life, enjoy every minute. Stop blaming everyone around you for your troubles, understand that everyone has their own shortcomings, accept and forgive them. Start interrupting the aggressive train of thoughts with some unpleasant action. You can lightly bite your lip or discreetly pinch yourself. Over time, you will develop a conditioned reflex that will help you control your aggression.

Learn to relax and relieve nervous tension. Do sports, auto-training, meditation, yoga, etc. Laugh more often, try to find something funny in any manifestation of your aggression. Always try to understand other people, start trusting others. When aggressive thoughts arise, try to find at least three reasons explaining the irrationality of anger. In any matter, try to be persistent and not aggressive.

“Don’t be afraid to show yourself weaker than you are. Be afraid to appear stronger than you are!!”
"Patience is a great virtue"

Patience, irritability, short temper, absent-mindedness, laziness, weakness of will, aggression. Self-control, self-discipline, self-control. Anger management.

There are very few happy people now. We become petty, selfish, lazy, gluttonous, angry and envious. The more we envy, the more angry we become at the whole world. Look at yourself under a microscope. In most cases, we get angry not because of our ideas, but because of the humiliation of our own ambitions! All this destroys our nervous system, leads to stress and various conflicts.

Many people today cannot cope with their emotions, such as irritability, anger, short temper, aggression. A small spark is enough to ignite a scandal, the consequences of which are unpredictable. This is especially felt in transport, where people cannot restrain themselves, their emotions, their anger and aggression. Why are we so aggressive? Why does everything irritate us? There are many cases of aggressive behavior. We meet aggressive people in transport, in stores, at work. We ourselves can also become aggressive for no reason. Why is this happening? What do we learn from aggression? Why can't we take control of our emotions? How can we learn to think logically, without emotions? How to learn patience, tolerance, endurance, diplomacy.

Scandal, conflict, negativity exhaust our nervous system.

Moreover, in the heat of passion, we utter words that we later regret, “tearing out the hair on our heads.” But, unfortunately, some things can be fixed, but not everything. “A moment on the lips. Eternity on the heart"

I so want to control myself, to have self-control, like a life-saving insurance policy.

Question to a psychologist :

How to fix the situation? How to deal with your emotions? How can you learn to manage your emotions, namely aggression and anger? How to be able to slow down at the right moment so as not to regret it later? How to develop tolerance, patience and endurance, self-control?

Psychologist's advice:

Aggression– a negative quality that can accumulate in the body like toxic waste. These wastes are located on a spiritual level, but when the permissible norm increases, which the body can easily eliminate, they move to the physical plane in the form of gastritis, peptic ulcers, high blood pressure, and heart disease.

A person can typically be aggressive for several reasons:

1. When his nervous system malfunctioned for a specific reason (life problems, grief, resentment, stress, depression). In this case, it is necessary to eliminate the cause of your internal disorder. The aggression will go away automatically.

2. There are such people as “ratty” who deliberately try to anger their interlocutor. Usually these are unhappy people. They live in meanness, the misfortune of others is like manna from heaven to them. How to deal with them so that their “poison” does not penetrate our nervous system.

Let us remember the great French poet Joachin Du Bellay:

“When a stubborn creditor spoils my blood,

I’ll just write the poems and the rage will disappear!

When I hear the swearing of a noble impudent man,

I love bile, pouring out poetry to fight back.

When a bad servant lies to me and talks nonsense,

I’m writing poetry again - the anger is instantly gone;

When my soul is tired from all the worries,

I find cheerfulness and enthusiasm in poetry!”

Aggression can be eliminated with the help of certain exercises. Or they use its power for peaceful purposes. An example we see in fairy tales. When a man uses the power of a dragon to plow a field.

Let's consider several stages of aggression and anger.

1. When you are simply angry, there is still an opportunity to slow down the flow of negative information.

Ask clarifying questions, ask to repeat or give a comment, this will give you the opportunity to slightly extinguish the intensity of passions.

2. When the boiling point has reached a critical mass, but you were still able to restrain yourself from taking the wrong step.

Take a break; to do this, create the illusion that an agreement can be reached at any moment. Create an impression of cooperation. But the agreement is delayed.

3. When aggression gets out of control, it is necessary to correct the situation.

Aggression occurs in most cases when a person cannot prove that he is right. Perhaps there are not enough arguments for the dispute; your opponent may also be energetically stronger than you. It is better not to lead to destruction, but if this does happen. The first thing you have to do is come to terms with losses. What happened happened. Then start creating something new.

Question to a psychologist :

How not to act as an “idiot” who starts shouting when he cannot defend his position? How to defend your position without resorting to aggressive actions?

Psychologist's advice:

First answer yourself the question, what do you want?

1. Do you want to use the power of aggression for peaceful purposes?

There are exercises that artificially induce aggression. Then you can tell yourself that you will prove to everyone that you are the best. And angry at the whole world, you begin to work hard to achieve your goal. Explore the latest advances, learn and apply your knowledge to achieve your career. If you are angry with your colleagues.

Take care of your appearance if the problem is in your personal life. You begin to act, but do not forget that the main thing is self-discipline. In the process of action, there is no time to pay attention to the opinion of the environment. The result of your actions is important.

2. Do you want to become smart enough to avoid conflict and aggressive situations?

In this situation, you need to develop patience with your environment. How to do it? Try to avoid sharp corners in relationships between people. Avoid direct collision. Ask more questions, take time, pause between words. Speak slowly. This will give you the opportunity to think before answering. Distract your interlocutor from the main topic, redirect his attention. You can visit our training “MANAGING AGGRESSION”, where you will learn how to avoid such situations.

See the training schedule. The main thing is to know what you want to achieve in life. Either you will be the creator of your life, and will use your knowledge to achieve your well-being. Or you will become a destroyer, using this technique to satisfy your own ambitions. However, remember that by destroying someone's life, you are destroying yours, because you are wasting it in emptiness.

“Anger breeds hatred. Hatred is the key to suffering!!”

Psychology 0

Hello everyone, dear blog guests! Nature intended it this way that we need aggression in order to move forward in life. However, not knowing how to use it, we direct our energy against ourselves.

Surely every person in life has had such situations when they were simply torn from the inside with anger. As a result, we get illness, exhaustion, and depression. Every time you are very angry with someone, think about whether it is worth bringing yourself to such a state?

Word aggression translated from Latin means "attack". Its manifestation may be different. The purposeful desire to insult or hit someone is the concept of aggressive behavior. Aggression can also manifest itself towards inanimate objects.

This negative personality trait can be useful in some cases, such as when one needs to defend oneself. But, if aggression manifests itself for any reason, then you should learn to cope with it.

How to deal with aggression and negative thoughts? This is exactly what will be discussed in today's article.

Free yourself from emotions

Sometimes so many negative emotions accumulate inside us that we are ready to explode. Oddly enough, all this is natural and this phenomenon serves as protection from certain external stimuli. When we express our emotions, we get rid of them.

However, there is another side to the coin. When we openly express our anger, we offend someone, which is not good. Moreover, such actions in a society of intelligent people are regarded as weakness.

To become stronger, we must admit our weaknesses. Allow yourself to be angry. There is nothing wrong with this if your anger does not bother anyone. It is very useful to throw out negativity somewhere in the forest with a strong cry.

In the fresh air, you will recharge with positive energy, free yourself from negativity, and most importantly, you will not spoil the mood and health of yourself or those around you.

If you need to express yourself physically, try boxing or karate. Buy a punching bag and box for your health. This way you will always be in great shape, vigorous and cheerful.

Another effective way that psychologists advise is to write everything you feel on paper and burn it.

Don't take things to extremes

The surest decision would be to admit your anger to the offender. Just calmly explain to him what you are experiencing and what exactly made you angry.

Of course, there is no need to counter with eloquent words and phrases, trying to offend in return. This will only show your weakness.

If you don't have a chance to talk to this person, talk to the mirror. Mentally imagine that the offender is standing in front of you, tell him everything you think. When you feel that the anger has gone, try to forgive the person and let go of the situation. This way you will become free from your worries.

Take a break

Any doctor will tell you that strong people are very harmful. Moreover, uncontrollable outbursts of anger can greatly affect your relationship with your loved one, business partner or boss.

You can pay a very high price for your hot temperament. Any self-respecting person should be able to control his impulses.

The simplest method, probably known to everyone, is the following. When you get really angry, count to ten while taking a deep breath. But the most effective thing is to change the situation: leave the place of conflict, take a walk, meet with friends, go to the gym.

When you suddenly want to say too much, imagine that you are taking water into your mouth. You will immediately see that you will feel better.

Eastern wisdom

When we feel bad, we often seek advice and salvation from different religions. Eastern philosophy is famous for its ability to achieve spiritual harmony. To do this, just let go of all thoughts and don’t worry about anything.

Relax your facial expressions and imagine how the muscles of your face become heavy and warm. Then the energy flows down, delivering pleasant sensations.
Concentrate on your lips. Mentally imagine them expanding into a slightly noticeable smile. Don't strain your muscles too much. You will definitely feel calmer, your soul filled with joy and...

This practice should be done daily, devoting twenty minutes. After this, you will become stronger and will be able to cope with your irritation.

The following activity should be performed by shy individuals who, due to their nature, cannot express anger.

As you step forward, feign intense anger, as if you want to destroy everything. As you step back, smile calmly and return to a state of complete peace of mind.

When you step forward, you can shout and wave your arms. When returning back, try to relax as much as possible.

This exercise will easily teach you to switch from an aggressive state to a calm and peaceful one.

And also, dear readers, I am the mother of two children. Raising them is far from easy work. Tension and fatigue often build up, and to prevent aggression in the presence of children, I learned to get rid of it through yoga. Try doing a set of yoga exercises and you will feel incredibly relaxed. I always notice how after classes I get the feeling that the world is beautiful, the people around me are the nicest, my husband is my favorite, and my children are just a miracle.

I have selected a video for you - “Yoga for Beginners”. Keep in mind that the effect will be noticeable if you complete the complex to the very end, while not forgetting to breathe deeply and measuredly.

Dear guests, by subscribing to my blog, you can read a lot more useful articles. Be sure to share information with your friends. Bye everyone!

About the causes and methods of combating this problem

We live in an active and aggressive world. Every day we have to deal with certain manifestations of aggression; adults are especially concerned about the aggressive actions of the younger generation.

Society will never approve of the aggressive actions of the population, even if this property is present in human nature. But, as you know, aggressive actions cannot be eradicated by banning, punishing and reading instructions. Maybe it’s worth understanding the nature of aggression and learning to manage the energy capabilities of this property?

The term "aggression" carries concepts such as "attack", "hostility", etc., and is used to refer to listed actions that arise out of fear or frustration; desires to cause fear in others or make them flee; desire to achieve recognition of their ideas or the implementation of their own interests. Aggression is one of the psychological defense mechanisms. Each personality must have a certain degree of aggressiveness. Its absence leads to passivity, dependence, inability to defend one’s interests, and lack of one’s own ideas and goals. However, its excessive development is reflected in the entire appearance of the individual and characterizes the person as a conflict person, incapable of conscious cooperation with society.

Aggression itself does not make a person consciously dangerous to society, since the connection between aggressiveness and aggression is not rigid, and the act of aggression itself may not take consciously dangerous and disapproved forms. In our everyday consciousness, aggressiveness is presented in the form of “malicious activity”, and does not carry any destruction in itself. It is worth mentioning here that aggressiveness is a personality trait characterized by the presence of both destructive (destructive) and constructive (creative) tendencies. Based on this, aggressive manifestations can be divided into two types: the first type is motivational (a state of excitation that induces the body to aggressive action) aggression, as an intrinsic value, and the second type is instrumental aggression, as a means to achieve some goal or a consequence of learning. , and, possibly, imitation of aggressive actions. Practical psychologists are interested in motivational aggression, as a direct manifestation of personal characteristics with destructive tendencies, in other words, the aggression of psychopaths. A person cannot cope with his problems on his own; it is worth contacting a specialist who will help identify the level of aggression using diagnostic questionnaires and jointly develop techniques aimed at constructively using one’s aggression.

Causes of aggression in a child

A feeling of aggression, a desire to break and destroy everything from time to time is inherent in any child. The baby thus learns about the world. But for some, such outbreaks pass easily, for others they become a pattern of behavior.

Types of aggressive reactions

Direct physical aggression is the use of physical force against another person.
Indirect - aggression directed in a roundabout way at another person (when “set up”).
Irritation is a readiness to express negative feelings at the slightest excitement (hot temper, rudeness).
Negativism is an oppositional manner of behavior, manifested in the form of either passive resistance or active struggle against established customs and laws.
Resentment is envy and hatred of others for real and imagined grievances.
Suspicion is distrust and caution towards other people, conviction in their “bad” intentions.
Verbal aggression is the expression of negative feelings through squeals, screams, threats, stomping, cursing. For example, swearing is a manifestation of verbal aggression.
Feelings of guilt are expressed in the form of a person’s conviction that he has negative qualities, remorse.

It's amazing how different faces aggression has. At first glance, you can’t say that we are talking about it, but after reading carefully, you notice some peculiarity - aggression can be directed at oneself (auto-aggression) and at the external environment (yes, exactly the environment! acts of vandalism are also a manifestation of aggression), and if society is calm about self-aggression, then it will never accept external aggression. Since man is a social being, he will have to accept and obey the demands of society.

Methods for managing your own aggression

So how to deal with aggressive manifestations? The first and most obvious suggestion is “know yourself.” It is necessary to understand the true reasons for your aggression. If the reasons are internal, i.e. endogenous, it is worth contacting a psychologist, and maybe a psychiatrist. Perhaps the reasons are external, i.e. exogenous, it is worth analyzing them and directing aggressive energy in a constructive direction. You cannot suppress your aggression; it is better to redirect aggression - this is the simplest and most reliable way to neutralize it. It is content with ersatz objects (substitutes) more easily than most other instincts, and finds complete satisfaction in them. Already in ancient Greece they knew about the cleansing discharge obtained as a result of sports activities. Sport is a special ritualized form of wrestling that develops in human cultural life. This form of fighting serves a very important purpose - it teaches people conscious control and responsible authority over their instinctive fighting reactions. It is important not to punish your child for aggressive actions, but to introduce him to less dangerous forms of its manifestation in the form of sports achievements. Perhaps your child is attracted by the competitive spirit of fighting in a team, which cultivates the ability to establish relationships in society; perhaps he will like some kind of individual sport, where it is necessary to cultivate and demonstrate personal character traits, which will make it possible to feel calm and confident among his peers. It is worth remembering that aggressive actions occur in people deprived of love, so if complaints arise about your child, you need to reconsider your relationship as a parent and child. Increased demands and lack of affection (there is an opinion that boys need to be raised harshly) can be perceived by a child as a loss of parental love. Not only a lack of love for a child can be the cause of aggression. Lack of love between a man and a woman is also the cause of aggressive behavior when a scandal in the family replaces sexual relations. No wonder there is a slogan: “Make love, not war.” In a family where there is love and sex, there is no place for aggression, scandals and quarrels. “The more often a woman moans with pleasure at night, the less she swears during the day.”

Haven't kindergarten teachers and parents of bitten, scratched and beaten children complained about your child yet?

The next method of managing aggression is to separate yourself from your own aggression and thereby free yourself from its power. After all, irritation, anger, and resentment are not only painful for those towards whom they are directed, but also destroy those who experience them. Everything that happens to us in itself is neither good nor bad. Only we ourselves attach this or that meaning; our nerve cells equally experience both joyful and sad events. Only by passing it through our minds do we become aware of them and experience them as pain or triumph. If a person looks at life from the position of “winning a place in the sun,” then it will always seem to him that it is simply necessary to show signs of aggression to his applicants, so that it does not become common practice. In such cases, you have to reconsider your priorities and learn to establish contacts with others through negotiations. Aggression is a sign of weakness, and intimidation is an attempt to simply intimidate others, nothing more.

Another method that helps channel the energy of aggression into a constructive direction is the ability not to give in to your emotions and not get started half-turn. Any opposition, the slightest difficulty, insignificant objections make us want to “pulverize” everyone, just to remove the obstacle that has arisen. Think about how you look in anger, and when you suddenly succumb to your quick reaction, look at yourself in the mirror - is this your essence?! Is this distorted face like an angry mask really an integral part of you? This is the source of your problems, your suffering. You are fully responsible for your reaction, whether you need to respond to aggression with aggression. Relaxation techniques will help you free yourself from bad habits. These include meditation and auto-training. The purpose of meditation is not to suppress aggression or artificially empty your consciousness, but to allow aggression to come out and dissipate without leaving traumatic traces. The goal of auto-training is to relieve internal tension that has arisen as a result of experiencing aggression and balance your state of mind.

Protection, jealousy and love: why is aggression needed?

(based on the book “Aggression” by L. Conrad)

The fact is that every living creature needs a certain size territory to live and feed. If another bear appears within the boundaries of the bear's property, they will have to divide the territory. If there is too little space for two, they will fight. This is how aggression saves us from overpopulation.

What about reproduction and love, you ask? If we are inevitably aggressive in the presence of another individual, how then does a man in a family get along with a man, or a bear with a she-bear? Aggression never goes away. It is redirected and... intensified.

It is for this reason that the mother bear, who is usually not very aggressive, will selflessly protect the cub. Aggression towards a stranger is complemented by redirected aggression towards the cub - whoever meets the mother on edge will have a hard time.

According to the apt and poetic expression of the scientist Monika Mayer-Holzapfel, a partner in love or friendship is “an animal equivalent to a house.” This is where aggression-jealousy originates: for other individuals, a black eye under a wife’s eye is the same as the Great Wall of China.

Let's summarize.

1. Aggression is normal.

2. It increases in case of overcrowding (too close contact with too many people).

3. It is useless to “squeeze” and hide aggression. Aggression needs a way out, and it will find it.

4. You can make aggression safe by redirecting it.

So what should I do? (practical guide)

Grounding

Aggression increases due to crowding, and nothing can be done about it. Or not? The most severe fatigue is usually transport fatigue.

What to do? Try leaving home 15 minutes earlier. Agree to shift your work schedule by half an hour. Get to work not by public transport, but by car. Finally, move closer to work, school or your beloved grandchildren - you are not a tree.

If your aggression has other reasons, try to “ground” it. The simplest and most accessible way to “ground” is any contact with nature. Even a fifteen-minute walk during lunch or a short stop on foot will make you calmer and happier.

Sometimes “domesticated” nature is enough - dogs, cats, replanting and watering indoor plants. Fire and water help remove negativity and cope with aggression. Take the proverbial bubble bath by candlelight and see how true this statement is.

Discharge

No matter how well grounding works, aggression needs to be discharged. You can make aggression safe by redirecting it.

The easiest way to redirect is to hit the bag and throw darts. Sports are much more effective. Sports tournaments were invented as a civilized replacement for fighting. Sports, and especially team games, allow you to unleash and curb the ancient demon of aggression.

Any other games, even harmless board games, are also the first assistant for those who want to cope with aggression: Games in a non-traumatic form simulate more serious situations and help to cope with them.

Just like sports good sex defuses aggression. Try something new, add a little intelligence and talent to your experiments, and the transformed impulse of aggression will become a source of joy for you and your partner.

A great healer, laughter, can also help you cope with aggression. Watch a couple of videos with George Carlin, read the detective story by Joanna Khmelevskaya

Another assistant to a tired and confused person is art. If you don't know how to paint watercolors, make a funny sandwich. Cook the compote, imagining that it is a magic potion, like in the cartoon about Asterix and Obelix, which will give you strength. Blind, cut, sew, knit, glue, write whatever your heart desires and get pleasure from it - aggression will melt in it without a trace.

Transforming aggression is actually a very interesting activity. Treat aggression the way it deserves - as an additional resource, a reserve of strength that you will definitely learn to manage.