How to help a first grader? The child cries constantly.

My daughter is 7 years old, we go to 1st grade. Cries for all sorts of reasons: doing homework, if it doesn't work out a little - we cry, getting ready for school in the morning, getting dressed, looking for things - we cry, returning home - we cry, etc. In general, if it doesn’t work out the way she wants, or we deviate a little from what was set, tears flow like a river. We don't even know what to do.

Answers from psychologists

Hello Nurlan. You write that you are “crying”, crying in a place with your daughter? You have a symbiosis, the independence of your daughter and her successful future depends, among other things, on how soon you begin to treat her as a separate person, smoothly, slowly come to the realization that she is she, and you are you.

The question of crying, I think, has its place in the above.

Sotnik Dmitry Mikhailovich, psychologist in Almaty

Hello, Nurlan!
You need to teach your daughter to talk about her feelings. Perhaps she is crying because you do not understand her or she thinks that you do not understand her. Read the book by Yu. Gippenreiter “Communicate with a child. How?” There is a lot of practical advice in it. You need to learn to talk to your daughter about how she feels.
Love and wisdom to you.

If you need help and want to figure it out, ask for advice. I will be happy to help you.

Psychologist Nikulina Marina, St. Petersburg. Consultations in person, Skype

Hello, Nurlan.

Tears indicate that the child is experiencing negative feelings and unmet needs. Every time she starts crying, find out what is happening to her and what she wants.

If does not work as much as she wants, or a little deviate from the given

One gets the impression that some kind of attitudes dominate the girl. We need to find out.

Sincerely.

Hello!

Most likely, these are characteristics of the child’s character and nervous system.

She sets a high standard for herself, but fails to meet it.

Perhaps there is someone in the class whom she is trying to look up to.

There may be other reasons that need to be looked into.

Come for a consultation, we will see what is happening and how it is happening and what to do about it.

Eliseeva Galina Mikhailovna, psychologist Almaty

Hello Nurlan! Your child's behavior may be related to your reaction to him. Pay attention to how you react to your child's tears. The fact that a child cries is a defensive reaction to difficulties that arise, and if we encourage this, the child thinks that this is how he should show his emotions. Your daughter has become older, she is at a new stage in her life, 1st grade, perhaps the adaptation process has taken a long time, talk with her about the rules of behavior at school, with peers, etc. If you encourage her tears, she will continue to cry. Remember when your daughter was in kindergarten and how you reacted when she fell or quarreled with her peers, or cried. A lot depends on the parent, or rather on his reaction; if you react calmly, the child will also be calm. Talk to your child, maybe something is bothering her. Good luck!

Topolskova Albina Nikolaevna, psychologist Gelendzhik

Hello, Nurlan. I recommend reading your message again for yourself. It says “we” everywhere, and this indicates a strong merger with the child, which can be traumatic for her. I have a hypothesis that mom is also putting something into this merger. Each of you is a separate personality, although in the case of your daughter it is not yet formed. And with your merger you prevent it from forming. It is clear that you are not doing this on purpose, but unconsciously; your speech gives you away - the words you choose to describe the condition. Perhaps you don’t quite understand what we’re talking about, so please contact us, this is a serious conversation.

All the best. Sincerely, Aigul Sadykova

- The child went to school - first grade, or third, or sixth... And then several weeks passed and the child screams, throws hysterics: “I don’t want to go to school!” Should this alert parents?

Ekaterina Burmistrova

– First of all, we are, of course, talking about adaptation syndrome. We can talk about adaptation for a long time. We have very long holidays in Russia, three months. During this time, on the one hand, global rest and recovery occur. But, on the other hand, there is a global withdrawal.

Yes, first-graders need to get used to the new regime, to the new life. But in the end it turns out that almost everyone needs to get used to it in a new way. And parents too. Because everyone is in a period of adaptation: the daily schedule with morning getting up for those who were not supposed to get up early due to duty has not yet been restored, our habit of exertion and constant mobilization has not yet been restored.

Only we, unlike children, are afraid to cry. I read in one of my groups on social networks how my mother wrote: “I forbade saying the word “autumn” in front of me.” But more often than not, parents do not show their condition. Children have less of this psychological defense and all experiences are externalized.

So the first six to seven weeks are a period of adaptation, getting used to, when the child, teenager and parent spend much more energy on processes associated with the new schedule than they will spend later when they get used to it.

There is a very sharp contrast between rest time and the school year. Especially if the beginning of autumn is warm, like summer, but you need to stop everything and drive yourself into a classroom where it’s stuffy and hot.

– Besides adaptation, what could be the reasons?

– Immediately incorrectly planned schedule. Sometimes, right from the first week, without following any rules of adaptation, children, even elementary school students, are burdened with more than just school workloads. But second-graders are given homework from the second week, and they also have music school and sports training.

The main rule of adaptation is a measured increase in load.

Let's say you chose a program for yourself and compiled it. Yes, it's big. But you don’t need to take everything at once, from the first week. Usually teachers are loyal, you just need to talk. Take your time.

Recently I was walking down the street and heard a mother talking to a teenager. The teenager asked: “Mom, let’s at least have the first couple of weeks without a tutor. Let me now understand what I can handle on my own and what I need help with.” To which my mother replied: “No, we have an agreement. You are going right now, from the beginning of your studies.”

It happens that a child is simply not used to forcing himself

– A child may be disgusted by the fact that school is boring, you have to work there, there are responsibilities?

- Yes. We have a German education system, it is present in Russia and in most other countries and is not related to entertainment. This is a system that is based on some kind of coercion, on the fact that it is difficult, that you overcome difficulties, and these systematic efforts are part of education. If parents generally do not agree with this concept and they have a choice, then they need to look for something else.

There is family training, and there the schedule is built based on the needs of the family and the child. These are completely different rhythms. There are private schools where the child receives an individual approach and where you don’t have to make any effort at all. There are other education systems where they try to do without cramming and without a class-lesson system.

Just remember that each system has its own disadvantages.

And also that the ability to work is necessary in life. Moreover, work itself is not traumatic. A teacher’s bad attitude or overload can cause injury. It happens that a child is simply not used to forcing himself at all.

Photo: Sergey Beynik “First-grader” (fragment)

– But if the hysterics are strong, every day, the child categorically declares that he will not go to school? Transfer to another school, for family education?

– I wouldn’t make a decision until these one and a half to two months have passed. We need to try to figure out what else could be wrong. There can be many reasons for discomfort at school, besides adaptation: a new boy comes to class, noisy, pugnacious, and the child is afraid of him. Or some girl came who is a bigger leader than your child.

Maybe something happened in terms of relationships with other children, maybe the teacher changed, maybe the locker room or class changed, maybe a new subject started with a strict teacher, maybe the lunch supplier changed and it became impossible to eat there . Or maybe the child has problems and cannot use the school toilet.

Hysteria may appear if grades have begun or the child has entered the fifth grade, but high school is completely different, a different life, different requirements. There can be many reasons, maybe some of them relate to your situation? But first of all, you need to exclude any moments of conflict with the teacher.

Or maybe the child has simply grown up to protest. Let’s say, in the first grade it didn’t occur to him that he might not want to go to school, but now he’s grown up and realized it. What is needed here from parents is an adequate response, an attitude that school is a necessary part of life...

So you don’t need to immediately run and pick up the child, but look at what’s happening, what’s the reason, whether psychosomatics have appeared - headaches or vomiting, for example. But, again, we first look for the reason and only then make a decision.

Mom is tired and decides: “Everything is bad, let’s go somewhere else.”

– How important is the attitude of parents towards studying at school?

– If parents are not sure that the school is a good place in general or, say, they believe that a particular school is not good enough for the child, this is very strongly transmitted to him, the child subtly senses the situation, even if this conversation takes place between adults in the kitchen in the evening or by phone.

That is, if you yourself have strong doubts and are very tired of school, this will not pass by the child and all moments of his resistance will be strengthened.

It is much easier for the child if the parents are determined to go through this period without fail. A parent can say that it’s hard for everyone now, including adults, they can talk about adaptation, that the usual path has been disrupted, neural chains have been disrupted and have not yet been restored.

– You’re used to getting up at half past nine, but now at 6.45 or 7 o’clock. Of course, it’s difficult for you, it’s clear that you don’t want anything, and the school is noisy. It takes time to get used to this noise. A person is designed in such a way that he needs time to get used to everything.

It happens, of course, that you are faced with the fact that the school is really not suitable. Something has changed, or the child has entered some vulnerable stage, suffered from something, and began to have some neurotic manifestations. But even here the decision to leave should not be very quick.

You need to act immediately in situations involving violence on the part of a teacher.

And if a child really develops aversion to school, it won’t go away in two months. The job of adults is to observe, advise, perhaps reduce the workload, but not think out loud in front of the child whether school is suitable for him. Because this is a very strong destabilization for children.

The decision to withdraw your child from school must be a very slow one. If you leave a situation in which there is a feeling that you did not cope, there is a risk that this situation where you do not cope will transfer to another training system.

– When, in your opinion, is it worth switching to another school or homeschooling?

– It is important that time passes, and it is better to leave in a stable, good situation, when in principle you can stay, but another option is simply more suitable for you. Because the feeling of failure and the desire to escape from difficulties at the first emotional breakdown is a strategically very dubious choice.

Yes, I repeat, there are emergency situations when you really need to leave, for example, when the teacher is aggressive or hysterical.

But still, more often than not, in the first emotional wave, the child is usually taken away because the mother is tired, and then the child resists. Mom decides: “Everything is bad, let’s go somewhere else.” And after some time, difficulties, the same or others, may appear in another place.

If a child is pulled out every time and he does not completely successfully go through the adaptation syndrome, he develops the habit of jumping out at a time of difficulty. And this is very bad.

So the decision to leave school must be made with a calm head: “That’s it, we took everything here, we don’t need to come here anymore.”

Sometimes it is the parents who need to sort out their problems. Maybe there are some problems in the family, the parents are in crisis, and the child takes them on, including to school. So sometimes you first need to solve, mitigate problems in the family, and then problems with school will become much milder.

In psychology, anxiety is understood as “a stable personal formation that persists for a long time,” emotional discomfort. Unfortunately, there are more and more children with high levels of anxiety, and the adults around them (parents, teachers) are able to help such students.

Types of anxiety.

Anxiety as a personality quality. Inherent in an asthenic child who is prone to pessimism. Most often, this approach to life is adopted from loved ones. Such a child is very similar to his parents.

Example The mother of a girl (7 years old) complained that her daughter could not approach the teacher to ask something and cried when they parted. During the conversation, the woman’s speech was quiet and intermittent, and there were tears in her eyes.

In such cases, it is difficult to fully understand what in the child’s behavior is the result of upbringing and what is inherited. Much depends on innate character traits, for example, if anxiety manifests itself in a child with a melancholic temperament. Such a child will always experience some kind of emotional discomfort, slowly adapt to certain situations, and any change in his usual life will deprive him of his mental balance for a long time.

Situational anxietyassociated with a specific situation, is the result of some events. For example, after a painful procedure with a doctor, a child begins to be afraid of all doctors. Often children, regardless of age, are afraid to make purchases in a store on their own. Knowing about the upcoming trip to the store, the child becomes upset in advance, his mood deteriorates, and he prefers to be left without candy than to buy it himself.

Situational anxiety can be minimized, but not everyone can completely get rid of it - many adults still have anxiety before visiting a doctor, flying on an airplane, or taking an exam.

School anxiety- a type of situational anxiety. The child is worried and worried about everything related to school. He is afraid of tests, of answering at the blackboard, of getting a bad mark, of making a mistake. This anxiety often manifests itself in children whose parents have high demands and expectations, in children who are compared with more successful peers. This type of anxiety is often found in six-year-old classes- such young children may cry because of minor difficulties (forgot a ruler, did not understand what to do, parents arrived five minutes late, etc.) As they get older, the child reacts less emotionally to difficulties, feeling more competent, he is less fears change and adapts to changes more quickly.

Types of anxious children

Neurotics. Children with somatic manifestations (tics, stuttering, enuresis, etc.) The problem of such children goes beyond the competence of a psychologist; the help of a neurologist or psychiatrist is needed. Such children need to be allowed to speak out, and parents should be asked not to focus on somatic manifestations. It is necessary to create a situation of comfort, acceptance for the child and minimize the traumatic factor. It is useful for such children to draw fears and act them out. Any manifestation of activity will help them, for example, hitting a pillow, hugging soft toys.

Disinhibited. Very active, emotional children with deeply hidden fears. At first they try to study well, but if this does not work out, they become violators of discipline. They may deliberately expose themselves to ridicule in front of the class. They react to criticism with marked indifference. They try to drown out fear with their increased activity. There may be mild organic disorders that interfere with successful studies (problems with memory, attention, fine motor skills).

Such children need a friendly attitude from others, support from teachers and classmates. We need to create a feeling of success in them, help them believe in their own strength. During classes, it is necessary to give an outlet for their activity.

Shy. Usually these are quiet children, they are afraid to answer at the board, do not raise their hands, lack initiative, are very diligent in their studies, and have problems establishing contact with peers. They are afraid to ask the teacher about something, they are very scared if he raises his voice (even at another), they often cry over little things, they worry if they haven’t done something. They are willing to communicate with a psychologist or teacher personally (individually).

Such children will be helped by a group of peers selected according to their interests. Adults should provide support, in case of difficulties, calmly offer ways out of situations, praise more, and recognize the child’s right to make mistakes.

Closed. Gloomy, unfriendly children. They do not react at all to criticism, they try not to come into contact with adults, avoid noisy games, and sit on their own. M.b. problems in learning due to lack of interest and involvement in the process. They behave as if they expect a dirty trick from everyone. It is important to find in such children an area that interests them (dinosaurs, computers, etc.) and through discussion and communication on this topic to establish communication.

Characteristics of anxious children

• After several weeks of illness, the child does not want to go to school
• The child rereads the same books several times, watches the same films, cartoons, refusing everything new.
• The child strives to maintain ideal order, for example, with manic persistence he places the pens in his pencil case in a certain sequence.
• If a child is easily excitable and emotional, he can “get infected” with anxiety from loved ones.
• The child is very nervous during tests, constantly asks questions during lessons, and demands detailed explanations.
• Gets tired quickly, becomes tired, and has difficulty switching to another activity.
• If the task cannot be completed immediately, such a child refuses further completion.
• Tends to blame himself for all the troubles that happen to loved ones.

How to help your child overcome anxiety?

• It is necessary to understand and accept the child’s anxiety - he has every right to it. Be interested in his life, thoughts, feelings, fears. Teach him to talk about it, discuss situations from school life together, look for a way out together. Learn to draw a useful conclusion from the unpleasant situations you have experienced - you gain experience, you have the opportunity to avoid even greater troubles, etc. The child should be sure that he can always turn to you for help and advice. Even if children’s problems do not seem serious to you, recognize his right to worry, be sure to sympathize (“Yes, it’s unpleasant, it’s offensive...”). And only after expressing understanding and sympathy, help find a solution and see the positive sides.
• Help your child overcome anxiety - create conditions in which he will be less afraid. If a child is afraid to ask passers-by for directions or buy something in a store, do it with him. That. you will show how you can solve a disturbing situation.
• If your child missed many days at school due to illness, try to make his return gradual - for example, come together after school, ask for homework, let him talk to classmates on the phone; limit your time at school - do not leave the first time for after-school activities, avoid overload.
• In difficult situations, do not try to do everything for the child - offer to think and cope with the problem together, sometimes just your presence is enough.
• If the child does not openly talk about difficulties, but he has symptoms of anxiety, play together, playing out possible difficult situations through games with soldiers, dolls, etc. The child himself will suggest the plot and development of events; through the game, you can show possible solutions to a particular problem.
• Prepare an anxious child in advance for life changes and important events - discuss what will happen.
• Do not try to improve the performance of such a child by describing the upcoming difficulties in black and white terms. For example, emphasizing what a serious test awaits him.
• It’s better to share your anxiety with your child in the past tense: “At first I was afraid of something..., but then something happened and I managed to...”
• Try to look for the positive in any situation (“every cloud has a silver lining”) - mistakes in a test are an important experience, you will understand what needs to be repeated, what to pay attention to.
• It is important to teach your child to set small, specific goals and achieve them.
• Compare your child’s results only with his previous achievements/failures.
• Teach your child (and teach yourself) to relax (breathing exercises, thinking about good things, counting, etc.) and adequately express negative emotions.
• You can help your child overcome feelings of anxiety with hugs, kisses, stroking the head, i.e. bodily contact. This is important not only for the baby, but also for the schoolchild.
• Optimistic parents have optimistic children, and optimism is a defense against anxiety.

• Features of assessment - assessment d.b. meaningful with a detailed explanation of the reason; Not all activities are assessed, but individual elements.
• The overall emotional atmosphere in the class is important. It is no secret that from year to year the number of anxious children for some teachers is consistently high, while for others it is low. This is an indicator of the teacher’s professionalism and the success of his educational work.
• Focus on success
• It is important to maintain an atmosphere of acceptance and safety in the classroom so that every anxious child feels valued regardless of their behavior - always look for something to praise and emphasize the child’s strengths by discussing shortcomings alone.
• If a child refuses to complete a task, saying that he cannot cope, ask him to imagine another child who knows much less and really cannot complete this task, let him try to imitate such a child. “Now imagine and portray a child who can cope with this task - you are such a child.”
• Exercise in a group - everyone joins hands and takes turns saying the “magic spell”: “I can’t... (everyone says why the task is difficult for him), I can (everyone says what he can do), I can do it... (everyone tries say how much he can complete the task if he puts in the effort).”

Kindergarten, elementary, middle and high school all go through this, these are inevitable stages of development for most children. Often, during the formation and change of educational institutions, children experience anxiety and fear. As a rule, in children of preschool and primary school age, fear manifests itself in whims, hysterics, attacks of anger or panic. Children of high school age, due to their fear of school and reluctance to attend it, may become gloomy or alienated, experience attacks of anger and panic. The reasons for fear of school and ways to eliminate it were the topic of our interview with Ekaterina Gennadievna Zhuk, a child and family psychologist with 12 years of experience.

MedPortal: Please tell us why children are afraid of school? After all, it is typical not only for first-graders, but also for children of senior school age? What are schoolchildren most often afraid of?

Ekaterina Gennadievna: Yes, fear of school is not only typical for children who go to school for the first time. The fears of first-graders and children of high school age may differ.

The fears of first-graders are mainly associated with ignorance of what awaits them and with the stories and ideas about school that adults share with them. Often, adults present school to children as a place where they will “deal with” the child, where they will “make a man” out of him, where they will finally take him to work. That is, adults form the idea in children that school will be difficult for them. By telling in vivid colors that the child will be given difficult tasks, parents contribute to the emergence of fear of school in their children.

It also happens that parents or adults who are responsible for caring for a child themselves have negative school experiences and therefore consciously or unconsciously pass them on to their children. When parents talk about their negative experiences with school, the child, who is inclined to trust his parents as a reliable source, knows in advance that he will not like it there. If in general there is an unfavorable tense situation in the family, or the child himself is anxious, then school is no different from any new activity - the child is afraid of it. A child is scared to go to school because it is something new: he will have to part with his familiar environment.

As for older children who have already gone to school, in addition to the reasons listed above for their fear of school, they may also have reasons related to difficulties in communicating with peers. Children may be afraid to go to school because there they will have to meet and communicate with those with whom they do not want to contact or are unable to do so.

The reason a child is afraid of school may be that he is afraid of the teacher or teachers.

The basis for the fear of going to school may be that the child is having a hard time with some school subjects. It is especially difficult for children who do not have help from their parents in this matter. In this case, children may be afraid to go to school, because they are afraid that they will not cope and will be scolded.

Peculiarities of parental behavior can also contribute to the development of fear of school in children. For example, with overprotective parents, children may be afraid to go to school, since excessive attention from parents will increase compared to what they had in the summer. The parents' strong desire for the child to be successful can also cause the child to fear school: he will be afraid of upsetting or angering his parents.

MedPortal: How to help a first-grader overcome fear?

Ekaterina Gennadievna: In September, of course, it is already a little late to talk about this, but I hope that the information will help parents of future first-graders. In order to help your child calmly meet a new stage of life, it is worth starting preparation for school in the spring and summer. Preparation for school should include familiarization with the school building and its internal structure. I recommend that parents of future first-graders organize an excursion to school for their child in advance: let the child get acquainted with the building, and, if possible, visit the classroom where classes will be held. It is important that by the time he comes to study, he knows how to behave at school, knows where the canteen, locker room, and toilet are. It’s even worth taking your child to the school toilet before classes start: after all, it’s different from the one at home, and the child may, due to not knowing how everything works there, feel embarrassed and even afraid to go there. School is everything new, and it’s good if this new thing is learned gradually.

It is important that the child has some skills by the time he has to go to school: that he knows how to dress and undress independently, knows where to put his spare shoes and how to handle his briefcase.

Even if parents intend to drop off and pick up their child from school every day, it is worth learning the route from home to the institution in advance with him: it may happen that he will need to get home from school on his own and vice versa. It will also be useful to teach your child how to use house keys and pocket money.

In order to properly set up a child before studying, parents should talk to him about school, describe the school from a positive side, talk about his positive and positive school experience. We must say why a child needs to attend school: to become smart, to be an adult and understand a lot and understand a lot. It is necessary to encourage your child to make new friends at school. If possible, it is good to introduce your child to some of his future classmates before the start of the school year.

I highly recommend involving both first-graders and older children in the purchase of school supplies: let the child have the opportunity to choose a backpack, school uniform, pens and covers to his taste. Buying things for the upcoming school year will help him develop an understanding that school is coming soon and there is no escape from it.

MedPortal: What if a child starts crying at school and asks to be taken home - not to be sent to lessons?

Ekaterina Gennadievna: Firstly, in order to prevent this from happening, preparation for school is necessary. The child must clearly understand that attending school is a mandatory process. If a child is crying at school, parents should take him to the teacher to bring him into class. It is important not to let your child understand that tears can be manipulated and there is a possibility that if he cries and throws tantrums, he will avoid school. The adaptation period for a first-grader can last up to six months.

MedPortal: If a child’s fear does not go away, and hysterics are repeated every day again and again, is it worth transferring him to home schooling?

Ekaterina Gennadievna: Parents should understand the causes of fear and eliminate them. If adaptation lasts more than six months, then you should seek advice from specialists - child psychologists.

As for home schooling, of course, it has advantages: the child will study in a familiar, comfortable environment, parents will be able to choose teachers, adjust the class schedule, but... I would recommend transferring to home schooling only those children who need it according to their needs. state of health. At school there are long-term contacts and relationships: grievances, quarrels, and reconciliations. When homeschooling, the child is deprived of this.

Homeschooling is not a solution for an unconnected child.

MedPortal: What if a child does not want to go to school after the summer holidays?

Ekaterina Gennadievna: Reluctance to go to school is normal. Parents should remember this: they also don’t want to return to work from vacation, or change the more measured rhythm of life for the hustle and bustle of work. Therefore, it is worth treating the reluctance to go to school with some understanding and giving children time to get used to it.

MedPortal: If a child complains about prejudice on the part of teachers, what is the best thing for parents to do: talk to teachers, attend lessons?

Ekaterina Gennadievna: To begin with, you should take control of this issue: check how the child prepares for a lesson with this teacher, whether he copes with the program, whether he completes all his homework and what grades he ultimately receives.

Next, you can talk with the parents of other children: find out if their children complain about this teacher, if their children have noticed a biased attitude towards a particular child. You should also not be afraid of talking with the teacher: it is important for parents to know the opinions of both sides.

MedPortal: And if a child cannot make friends at school, how can he be helped?

Ekaterina Gennadievna: First graders need to be taught how to make friends, how to get acquainted. It will be good if parents, in a relaxed atmosphere, tell their child how to introduce himself to another person and how to start a conversation. And in a situation where the child is overcome by embarrassment, he will remember the words of his parents and will be able to overcome himself and start a conversation. There are sociable children who will be the first to approach without hesitation and say: “Hello, I’m Sasha, let’s meet,” and there are those who not only won’t approach, but also won’t be able to answer.

If a child likes someone from the class, then parents can promote their friendship at the parental level: agree with the parents of the other child so that the children visit each other, study and play together.

MedPortal: We thank you for the interview.?

Ekaterina Gennadievna: I wish that readers’ appeals to psychologists and specialists in related fields would be for the purpose of curiosity and prevention, and not for the purpose of solving existing problems and suffering.

School is one of the important components in the development of a child. At the same time, starting school involves new responsibilities for the child. He is forming certain impressions, a new social circle, which can be a very significant emotional burden at that age. Since the child will spend almost the entire day at school, it is very important for parents to prepare their child for school, in particular for first grade.

After the assembly on September 1, many parents rush about their business. But why does the baby, who was just happy about what was happening, cry without letting go of mom or dad? Psychologists have their own point of view about this. Let's take a closer look at it.

Children are very impressionable and require some time to adapt to new conditions. If a child went to kindergarten before school or was raised independently by his parents at home, he suddenly finds himself in a new environment for him. That's why school can be really stressful for first-graders. Add to everything the factor that many new children appear in his environment, new walls, new conditions for spending time, and additional responsibility. He may not be mentally prepared for this. Some adaptation is required. Psychologists have calculated that the adaptation period can take from 5 to 8 weeks. This period varies depending on the child’s mobility and activity. The child needs to get used to a new life schedule, homework responsibilities, reduced opportunities to play in the yard, and sleep longer. The teacher begins to guide him for most of his life. As a result, it is believed that the age of seven is a crisis for most children.

The danger lies in the fact that when a first-grader begins school, he may suffer psychological trauma. Help, first of all, during this period should come from parents. If a child cries at school and won’t let go of his mother, the mother needs to set the child up correctly, without screaming or getting nervous. If every mother puts herself in the child’s place, she will be able to understand why the baby does not like the changes that have taken place in his life: new people, new communication, new responsibilities, instructions and prohibitions. You should be especially attentive to the child’s behavior in the first months of school: if he sleeps poorly, eats poorly, is often capricious or cries, he has not yet adapted to the new living conditions.

Valuable advice from psychologists for all parents is to begin in advance to instill in the child independence, give him the opportunity to make decisions, and organize the child’s daily routine. Such actions on the part of parents will help the child become more self-confident. He will cope with the fear of a certain situation or making a mistake as quickly as possible.

Knowing his daily routine, the child will be able to figure out how long it can take him to exercise, walk, play computer games, and what time he needs to get up. If parents want their child to adhere to this regime, they first need to set an example of behavior.

You need to listen to the child. If he has problems or experiences, he should not assume that they are so “childish” that they become funny. When a child shares his experiences with his parents from childhood, it will be easier for him to communicate with his parents in his youth.

If you do not criticize a child, but it is appropriate to explain his mistakes, this will also not discourage him from being frank and open. After all, parents for a child are not a teacher at school, but relatives.

Thus, a child’s attitude towards school can be shaped by the upbringing and appropriate behavior of parents. The key to a first-grader’s successful adaptation to school is compassion, empathy, respect and love from parents.