How not to worry about Orthodoxy about anything. Questions for the priest

If we think about what the concept includes fear, then we will see many false feelings here and understand: there is no reason for fear. Human life is designed by God to be calm and joyful. We should live happily ever after - why not? God gave us this life so that we could live in the world with pleasure and gratitude to Him for this gift. And so that this gratitude (or thanksgiving, Eucharist), in turn, opened the way to Him.

Sometimes, when leaving guests, I can accidentally forget something of mine - for example, a pen or glasses. And the owner of the house where I was staying, after some time sees the thing I had forgotten and says: “Oh, Father Andrei left this!” That is, when he sees my glasses, he remembers me, his thoughts rush in my direction.

Why do we give gifts? So that a person, looking at a gift, remembers the person with whom he was recently together, about the love of this person. And if another person begins to use our gift, and not the one for whom it was intended, then the gift loses all meaning. After all, we gave it so that we could have a connection with this person - a connection filled with warmth and love - and not just for ordinary use.

This is exactly what God does. He sends us to this beautiful world (which, however, we then turn into something completely different) - sends us here so that we enjoy His gifts, His mercy to us, so that we live in this world just as calmly, how children live in their Father’s house - without worries and sorrows (“We have a dad!”). After all, when a child has a gentle, loving father, he is not afraid of anything.

This is what God does to us. This is why He allowed us to live in this world.

Once upon a time, a very good doctor appeared on a program. He said that the human body is designed in such a way that we can live much longer if we lead the right lifestyle.

Of course, such a life implies proper nutrition. But not only. It is important to be a mentally balanced person, calm and peaceful. If we were all like this, we would live longer.

A person ages because of worries about his problems, because of stress, anxiety, and uncertainty about the future. All this leads to the fact that his hair begins to turn gray in his early youth - for no apparent reason, simply from experiences. Stress causes stomach diseases such as ulcers.

One disease is followed by another, and so on. How many diseases are caused by emotional distress! Therefore, if we really want to enjoy life and live many years, we should discover ways that lead to longevity.

One of these ways is to live without fear. Life without anxiety, without this pain that eats away our soul from the inside.

Once in one house I saw several old photographs. They depicted elderly married couples - old men and women. Have you ever seen such black and white photos - with your grandparents? Grandmother in a headscarf, grandfather with a mustache, in a jacket - stand and look at the camera with simple, innocent eyes, a look coming from the very depths of the soul.

Their faces are covered with wrinkles, they look tired, aged from hard work in the field, from many children, from constant worries. But I noticed something else in those photos. The hands of these people were hardened from hard work on the land, the faces of the women were aged from frequent childbirth (and in those days families had from 5 to 10 or more children), but at the same time they had a calm, peaceful look. Their eyes radiated grace.

Tired but calm, these people did not know what lifting, face masks, spa treatments were... They washed themselves with ordinary soap, and not every day - and their bodies smelled not of sweat, but of earth, i.e. the aroma of natural, real life. Their purity was different. Their beauty, their calmness were different, and this was reflected on their faces.

These people slept little, but a short sleep satiated them. They did not have nightmares, they did not fall out of bed in their sleep. They fell asleep instantly, they did not need any sleeping pills, no special pills, sedatives or, conversely, invigorating teas - none of what we use today.

Honest day's work, a clear conscience, physical fatigue - these people slept like birds - little but soundly, truly resting, refreshing their souls. And they woke up with a thirst for life, with new strength. They had their difficulties, but they had a secret that helped them live happily, and above all, without fear.

They passed this secret on from generation to generation, and thus healthy children were born who loved life, wanted to start families, worked and sailed on the sea of ​​\u200b\u200blife without fear and anxiety. They absorbed this thirst for life with their mother's milk. What happened? What secret did these people have?

It’s just that in their lives they were guided not by themselves, but by God. These old people were in living “leaven” with God and the Church. They didn't know much of what we know, but they had a living faith. They had no TV shows, no conferences, no magazines, no tapes; they did not read either the Philokalia or other works of the holy fathers, but their whole life was continuous with the Philokalia.

Without leaving their village, they lived according to the Patericon, in which today we read about the ascetics and ascetics who worked in the desert. Opening the windows in the morning, they saw their neighbors and rejoiced; looking at each other, they learned patience, hope, determination, prayer, humility, love, repentance and forgiveness - everything that we now learn from books.

If a person is thirsty and is shown a beautiful photograph of a waterfall, he will not stop wanting to drink. Looking at the picture, he will see that there is water somewhere that someone can drink, but he can't! And he continues to be thirsty. That's the problem. We read, we listen, but we don’t feel. We have no peace because there are no calm people next to us.

Do you know that it is very contagious - both calm and fear? They are transmitted from person to person. Have you ever heard some people say, “Don’t do such and such, because your anxiety will rub off on me. I’ll start to panic too, and what will happen if we both start to get nervous?”

So, these old people did not have such worries and worries.

One of my friends, a priest, came to Greece from Scotland, from Edinburgh. People there are calmer, they have a different rhythm of life, a different mentality, a different culture... And this is not due to faith in God, but simply a calm rhythm of life there. Of course, the economy of this country, its politics, and history had an influence here... So, my friend came to his homeland and went by bus to Athens on business. And when he returned from the city, he called me and said:

- Oh, my poor head! How sick she got in Athens! What kind of life is here? What kind of madhouse is this? How do you cope with all this? The crowd, wild, distorted faces - people seem to be constantly chasing something, but they themselves don’t know why! How can you live like this? I peered into the faces and didn’t see a single calm, peaceful one... They were all kind of crazy. Something is not right here. People are different in Edinburgh. Of course, they are not what the Lord and the Church would like them to be, but at least they are not so restless. And we, the Greeks, are a Mediterranean people. We are filled with sunshine, and therefore we are extroverted, dynamic... But dynamism is one thing, and mental restlessness is another.

Fotis Kontoglou in his book “The Blessed Refuge” speaks of our “troubled times”: “When I meet a person who is calm and not in agitation, I stop, make the sign of the cross and glorify God, saying: “Finally I I met a calm man! After all, everyone around is running somewhere, in a hurry, and no one is happy or enjoying life. We are all chasing something, but without having time to rejoice at our achievements, we again rush for something new."

This worry is the result of our selfishness. We want to do everything ourselves. We are confident that a person is the master of his life. But if, indeed, you begin to consider yourself as such, then, indeed, you can fall into terrible anxiety and excitement. How can you not worry if everything depends only on you! Especially when it comes to your own children.

But worry about children will disappear if we learn to say these words: “ God brought me into this life and gave me children. He used me to give them life, He brought them into existence through my body, with my participation, but He does not require me to do absolutely everything for them. I must do only the possible for them, and I will trust the impossible to God and will not worry about my powerlessness. I will trust God and trust Him with my children. And then I'll calm down».

This is the right attitude towards life. And we take everything upon ourselves and think that our child’s life (or, for example, our career) depends on us. We want to control everything, and as a result we reach moral exhaustion: overwork sets in, our strength leaves us, we give up everything, and then we go crazy.

Are we capable of keeping everything in our heads and thinking about everything in the world? No, we can't. We also need to give God the opportunity to do something. Let us entrust our children to His care. Of course, we must also make our efforts, but with prayer. With prayer, love and affection, and not with fear - after all, by constantly worrying, you are not helping your children. On the contrary: your fear is transmitted to them.

For example, a child behaves badly, and the mother, worried about this, also begins to behave “badly.” And even if, being in such a state, she wants to caress her child, the child will not feel this caress. He will feel maternal fear - and this is the worst inheritance that a mother can pass on to her child. And vice versa: no wealth, no property or bank account can replace children with the most beautiful gift from their parents - peace of mind.

No money in your bank account? Don't worry, don't be afraid. “But what will I leave for my child?” What did they leave you with at the time? How did you manage to build your house? Of course, you cannot leave a child in complete poverty, so there must still be some kind of inheritance.

But the real wealth with which you can truly provide for his life is the wealth of simplicity. The true treasure is simplicity: simple soul, simple thoughts, simple life, simple behavior. Let your child learn from you not to be afraid, but to live calmly and peacefully. And then someday he will say: “My parents were calm people. They trusted God in everything and therefore never experienced a feeling of fear.” If only we could all leave such a memory of ourselves when we leave this world!

How wonderful it is to trust God! You say you can't do it. Try! This is a great blessing. As St. Gregory the Theologian says, “the greatest deed is inaction.” Sometimes you can hear the following words: “You don’t do anything in the Church.” Well, try to do for yourself what the Church says, that is do nothing? Can you remain calm without doing anything? Try it and you will understand how difficult it is. Because in fact, in this case you are not inactive. On the contrary, you make a lot of efforts to learn to trust God in everything. This is a great art - without doing anything, trusting everything to the Lord.

In the Patericon there is a story about a nun. Once they asked her how many years she had not left her cell.

“Thirty years,” she answered.

- What are you doing here, sitting in one place? – they asked her again.

– I don’t sit, but am in a continuous wandering. That is, in appearance I really am sitting in one place, but this life, which may seem very calm, carefree and even indifferent, is in fact very mobile. Because I pray.

So when I say don't worry, I don't mean that we shouldn't do anything. On the contrary: we must do All. This All- surrendering oneself to the will of God. “Let us commend ourselves and our whole life to Christ our God.” This litany, a petition familiar to all of us, which sounds at the Liturgy, speaks precisely of this: that we surrender ourselves, our loved ones and our whole lives with all the problems, expenses, illnesses, marriages, purchases, children, property - with everything in the world, - in the hands of God. Therefore the name Christ God and stands here in the dative case: Christ God.

Let us trust in Christ, who is our God. Let us trust Him in everything. Into Your hands, O Lord, I commend my spirit. Word let's betray means that we completely trust the Lord and leave everything at His feet, in His hands and arms.

And when you trust God, you will immediately feel how everything inside you relaxes. Have you seen how a child sleeps in his mother's arms? He falls asleep, and after a few minutes his arms hang, his legs too, there is no tension in his body, he is completely relaxed. His whole body is relaxed. Why? Because he is in the arms. In the arms of mom or dad - they hold him and he sleeps. The child completely trusts his parents. In their arms, he calms down and with his appearance seems to say: “I have a dad, I have a mom. As soon as I wake up, they will immediately give me something to eat.”

Have any of you seen a child in anxiety or worry? Even if you come across such children, then, looking at them, you think: “There is something wrong with this child!” Is it possible to imagine an ordinary child who wakes up in the morning and says: “What will happen to me today? What will I eat today? It's so hard for me! I'm scared, I'm afraid of tomorrow. If I get dirty, who will change my clothes? And if I get hungry, who will feed me?” Children completely trust their parents and rely entirely on them.

Both the Lord and the Church call us to want to do the same - consciously, voluntarily and deliberately. So that, having made such a decision, we believe and do it.

Surrender into the hands of God, entrust Him with your whole life, all your problems - entrust everything. And not just anyone, but the God-man, Christ, who can (and does) take care of everything in the world. Lord, You have given us everything and done everything for us, as they say in the liturgy of St. Basil the Great. And You will never leave us without Your help. At the last moment, when the situation seems hopeless, You will do everything for us. " I remembered the days of old, I learned from Your deeds

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In fact, the word “anxiety,” of course, has no direct connection with the demon. And for the imaginary consonance we must thank the Bolsheviks, or more precisely, the reform of A. Lunacharsky in 1918, after which “the fearless one,” “the careless one,” and others jumped around the expanses of the Russian language. Before the reform, all these words had the prefix “without”.

I just came up with a title to catch and draw the reader’s attention to a very important and relevant topic: how to cope with an alarming, depressing state, which is called anxiety. And although etymologically in the word “anxiety” itself, I repeat, there is nothing from the infernal world, but, you see, in this state there is something “from the evil one.” What deprives a person of spiritual peace cannot be from God, which means that worry is a sin.

“Every thing is beautiful in measure,” says Saint Isaac the Syrian. Like many other sins and passions, anxiety comes from completely natural human properties, simply brought by the person himself to hypertrophied excess and degenerated into a kind of sinful state. Any person, to one degree or another, experiences everything that happens to him. We experience fear, anxiety, excitement. All these properties are inherent in us from God. They are signals for us that warn of danger or encourage us to take some kind of active action. They not only help us ourselves, but also force us to be concerned about the misfortune of others and to come to the aid of other people. We worry about our neighbors, we worry, and this is also an alarm bell calling us to action. But it’s bad when fear, anxiety and worry take over us, when we begin to excessively express these emotions. This state can become obsessive, dominant, and then panicky. This is not far from a mental disorder.

Anxiety from Lack of Faith

Excessive anxiety can be caused by various reasons. For example, mental illness, hereditary tendencies, psychotrauma, etc. There can also be completely natural reasons for anxiety. It can be a reaction to difficult, disturbing life circumstances that are currently weighing on a person. This condition is called reactive anxiety. But, I repeat, it’s bad when moderation is lost and anxiety takes on a chronic, permanent form.

What sins underlie excessive anxiety and concern? Firstly, lack of faith. Many people, considering themselves believers, do not have real faith and love for God. Because “perfect love casts out fear” (1 John 4:18). The lack of genuine spiritual life and prayer experience gives rise to all kinds of superstitions, horror of the dark spiritual world and anxiety about the future. Any priest has to regularly communicate with people who come running to the temple with their faces twisted in horror and begin to tell the priest what they want: to jinx them, to “do” them, to cause damage, to send illnesses and all sorts of failures, etc. and so on. You start asking questions, asking the question: “Why do you think so?” And it turns out that they found a tuft of hair somewhere under the rug, or discovered a pin, supposedly stuck into their door frame for witchcraft purposes, or they simply began to get sick from something often... Recently I went to a church service, and there she had been waiting for me for a long time. woman. She was terribly scared. She said that she works in a beauty salon, and said that recently the salon employees found money under the work chair of one of their hairdressers, which she seemed to have specially planted in order to lure all the clients to her. What should we do now, since all the other craftsmen’s incomes have already begun to fall and in general the establishment will soon go bankrupt, since other scissors and comb workers will be left without work?

Sometimes you are faced with fears that are clearly of a demonic nature, when people beg the priest to take a cross that they accidentally found on the street, otherwise, allegedly, all the illnesses and misfortunes of the person who has lost the cross will inevitably pass on to them.

Where do all these phobias come from? From the lack of real faith. If it were, people would not be afraid of psychics and witchcraft, but would know: “If God is for us, who can be against us?” (Rom. 8:31). They believe in the existence of the spiritual world, but this faith is one-sided, based on fear of dark forces. And in the absence of living prayer experience, communication with the Lord, the Mother of God and the saints, this faith can turn into a panicky fear of the unknown, into a feeling of complete insecurity.

Anxiety and panic generated by lack of faith can arise not only from fear of the evil eye or belief in omens. If there is no real strong faith, there can be a lot of reasons for fear: fear of illness, old age, job loss, fear of poverty, worries about children and other everyday fears. All of them are treated by turning to God. Faith can only be strengthened by personal experience. When you begin to turn to the Lord, when you establish a living prayer connection with the living God, fear and anxiety recede. You already know that you are not alone with your problems, because the Lord is next to you. And the more experience you gain in prayer, the more clearly you begin to feel the hand of God, His presence in your life. “Cast your worries on the Lord, and He will support you. He will never allow the righteous to be shaken” (Ps. 55:23), testifies the psalmist David. “The soul that has come to know the Lord fears nothing but sin,” St. Silouan of Athos tells us.

In addition to prayerful connection with God and hope for His help and protection, anxiety can also be treated by strengthening faith in God’s Providence and submission to His holy will. A believer knows: whatever the Lord does is for the best. Everything that is sent to us is needed for something. This is either a gift from God or a lesson to us.

Anxiety from sadness

In addition to the sin of lack of faith, anxiety is based on one of the eight passions, called the passion of sadness. Passion, unlike ordinary sin, is an ingrained sinful addiction, a chronic sinful disease. The Apostle Paul speaks of such sorrow: “Godly sorrow produces unfailing repentance leading to salvation, but worldly sorrow produces death” (2 Cor. 7:10). Worldly sadness is precisely the unnecessary worries of life, experiences that lead a person into a constant anxious, depressed state. Anxiety, anxiety, worries can lead anyone to depression.

Sadness, as well as lack of faith, can be overcome by prayer to God, strengthening faith in Him and hope in His good Providence. The Christian knows that without the will of God “a hair of your head will not perish” (Luke 21:18). In suffering, sorrow, and trials, believers should see great meaning for themselves. They are sent for our improvement, so that we learn a lot, begin to appreciate a lot, and show our best qualities. And when you begin to see that “it is not in vain, it is not by chance that life was given to us from God,” as Saint Philaret (Drozdov) wrote to A. Pushkin, then you begin to appreciate life, to see in it the great meaning and great gifts of God. Then the negative picture of the world, the anxious state caused by exaggerated anxiety, recede.

The Lord gives us an indication in the Gospel that our inevitable worries for every earthly person about earthly things, about daily bread and worldly affairs should not become excessive for us: “So, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will itself worry about its own: enough for every day of your care." (Matt. 6:34). Cares, labors, raising children and socially useful deeds - all this is necessary and necessary for a person, especially one who labors in the world, and cannot live without all this. But when all these worries begin to bother us unnecessarily, they become evil. In the Church Slavonic translation of this passage of Holy Scripture, worries are called: “the evil of the day.” Blessed Theophylact of Bulgaria, interpreting this text, says that the Lord “calls anxiety and sadness the evil of the day.” Thus, we will take care of the future, but in such a way that these worries do not turn into a source of constant anxiety and worry. For such a state greatly distracts from spiritual life and puts a person in a state of permanent stress.

How to avoid this tension and worry about everyday affairs? Always separate the main and the secondary: “seek first the Kingdom of God... and all these things will be added to you” (Matthew 6:33). First we will think about saving the soul, and only then about what to eat or what to wear, and not vice versa. Then worries about material objects will not bother us so much as to put us into a state of anxiety and fear of the future.

Restless and the spirit is peaceful

Worry, anxiety and the sadness that arises from them are states that are completely opposite to what every Christian should strive for in his life. What is the purpose of Christian life? According to St. Seraphim of Sarov, in the acquisition of the Holy Spirit. If a person has acquired it, he is given gifts, one of which is a state of peace, peace of mind. This is how Father Seraphim himself says about the peace that the Lord gives: “No word can express the spiritual well-being that it produces in those people into whose hearts the Lord God introduces it. Christ the Savior calls it peace from His own generosity, and not from this world, for no temporary earthly well-being can give it to the human heart: it is given from above by the Lord God Himself, which is why it is called the peace of God.” This is the very “peaceful spirit” that you need to acquire, and then thousands around you will be saved. This is what we should strive for. After all, the Kingdom of God must come already here, in earthly life, in the soul of man. And the Kingdom of Heaven is, as you know, eternal rest, peace and the absence of anxiety and melancholy. By striving for God, living a spiritual life, prayer, the sacraments, trying to build our lives according to God’s commandments, we overcome anxiety. And, on the contrary, it is very difficult for people who are far from spiritual life and who violate God’s commandments to be in a state of peace and spiritual peace.

If a person breaks all (or almost all) of the Ten Commandments, can he not worry or worry about anything? It is very doubtful, unless his conscience is already completely seared. People who live without God, serving their passions, suffer greatly, do not find peace for themselves, and have no meaning in life. And for those suffering from alcoholism and drug addiction, anxiety, melancholy, and despondency are generally an almost everyday condition. Psychiatrists and psychotherapists know well how many people, having spent a very turbulent youth, made mistakes, sins, and then messed up in adulthood, suffer from various mental disorders, neuroses and depression.

As we see, a clear conscience and life according to God’s commandments also helps us get rid of anxiety.

Today it is not very often possible to meet young people who keep their virginity and purity until marriage. And then, already in family life, they suffer from jealousy, they are afraid that their spouse will cheat on them, abandon them, or infect them with a “bad disease.” If young people led a dissolute lifestyle before marriage and began to cohabitate before marriage, then they latently realize that after this they can hardly expect chastity and mutual fidelity from each other. But by following God’s commandments and leading a Christian life, you can avoid such anxiety and worry. Now many churches have introduced the practice of mandatory confession and Communion for those approaching the sacrament of marriage. I will confess to everyone whom I will later marry. And how joyful it is to meet young people who did not allow themselves physical relations with each other before marriage. And you know, thank God, I have met many such newlyweds. And what is most surprising is that many of them were people still very far from the Church. They simply felt that if they could not resist and committed the sin of fornication, they would lose a lot and they would have to pay for their incontinence in their family life. After all, we know: “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. Whatever a man sows, that he will also reap: he who sows to his flesh will reap corruption from the flesh, but he who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life” (Gal. 6:7-8).

Troubled housekeeping

Having talked about the spiritual causes of anxiety and methods of dealing with them, let's move on to more mundane things. Let's say a little about how to deal with an anxious, restless state in our everyday life, so to speak, at the everyday level.

To begin with, almost all of our fears and worries are completely unrealistic. Psychologists say that more than 90% of them are far-fetched and groundless. We are experiencing something that will most likely never happen. As the Bible says about this: “There they were afraid of fear, where there is no fear” (Ps. 13: 5). Russian folk wisdom also echoes the Holy Scriptures; let us remember the proverb: “Fear has big eyes.” Let us ask ourselves the question: how often were our fears and experiences justified in reality? Very, very rare. Of course, our constant concern is understandable. Modern man is simply overwhelmed on all sides by alarming, negative information that is generously supplied to us by various media. How often have we gone crazy because we couldn’t get through to a person close to us, but it turned out that his phone was simply dead (the money in his account ran out, the mobile phone was in a bad connection area, etc.); Who among us hasn’t worried about the supposedly left-on iron at home or the unextinguished light, who hasn’t mentally begun to say goodbye to earthly life and loved ones and imagine how his carriage will be destroyed by a terrorist bomb when our train suddenly stops for a few minutes in the subway tunnel? Let us now remember that, with rare exceptions, everything was resolved completely safely. They simply forgot their mobile phone at home, the iron was turned off, the train went on its way in five minutes...

What does this mean? That all our fears are in our heads. They are unreal, just as the fears of the famous character from the Brothers Grimm fairy tale, Clever Elsa, were completely virtual. I think many people remember this instructive story from childhood. Once upon a time there lived a girl named Elsa. The young man Hans wooed her. One day, during a feast at her parents' house, Elsa went to the basement for beer. There she saw a pickaxe high on the wall. The girl began to imagine that when she and Hans got married and had a son, the boy would go into the basement and a pickaxe would fall on his head and kill him. She cried so bitterly about this that her household and her fiancé succumbed to her fears. Hans marveled at Elsa’s “intelligence” and “foresight” and married her.

Yes, there are quite a few people who have great imagination and are able to make mountains out of molehills. Most often, women suffer from “Clever Elsa syndrome” as they are more impressionable creatures and have a greater imagination. Such ladies tend to be overprotective, control their children and husbands in everything, worry about them, and worry. They are also prone to jealousy and begin to suspect their spouses of infidelity at the slightest reason. By the way, the desire to completely control your life and the lives of your loved ones is always a very big source of anxiety.

Although, in fairness, it must be said that many men also suffer from increased anxiety, coupled with a rich imagination. The main problem of people of this type is the loss of reality. They need to understand that fear is normal, but in no case should we allow it to take over us, otherwise it will completely take over our soul. I’ll use an analogy from the world of technology. Almost all modern cars are now equipped with a limiter that prevents the engine from being damaged by excessive load. When the speed when driving in first gear becomes critical, a special cut-off switch is triggered and the engine speed immediately drops. It is very good for anyone who is prone to excessive anxiety to install such an anxiety limiter.

To do this, it is important to learn to separate our thoughts into useful and harmful, coming from the evil one. Harmful ones - in this case, anxious, restless, melancholy - you need to learn to cut off in time. Do not let them on the threshold of our soul. Drive away through prayer, like all harmful thoughts, and replace them with others - positive, life-affirming ones. Methods of combating unwanted thoughts are described in detail in various ascetic works.

It is very important to understand the unreality and artificiality of our fears, to realize that they are not caused by real danger, but by our not entirely healthy emotional state. This is the real cause of our anxiety. With this condition, all kinds of sedatives and sedatives also help very well.

Smart Elsa was worried about the unborn child and about some completely unreal events. Of course, such a situation is anecdotal, but any normal parents experience quite natural concern for their children, especially when they are far from us and communication with them is limited. For example, they travel, serve in the army, or are in the hospital. But here you need to understand: we will not help our child with worries, anxiety, and restlessness, but will only bring ourselves to a nervous breakdown. Helping someone from a distance can also be very difficult, and sometimes even impossible. But how we can really help our children and, in general, the people we worry about, is through our prayer. No wonder they say: “A mother’s prayer reaches from the bottom of the sea.” When I am very worried about the children, I usually start reading the canon to the Mother of God. It is in almost every Orthodox prayer book. Even from its title - “The Canon Sung in Every Sorrow of Soul and Circumstance” - it is clear that it is especially suitable for such a situation. When we turn to God, to the Mother of God, we trust them with our troubles, worries and feel that we are no longer alone in the struggle with our problem.

Be ready!

What to do when the problem that worries us is not fictitious, not far-fetched, but quite real and serious? Holy Scripture does not teach us to live carelessly and thoughtlessly. No, it simply tells us that we should not let worry about everyday problems get the better of us. Caring for our earthly affairs should not become the dominant feature of our lives and cause us anxiety and lack of faith. Therefore, “every day’s trouble is sufficient.” But, at the same time, Christ calls us to calmly and balancedly prepare for future difficulties, so that we do not then experience unnecessary anxiety and panic: “For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and calculate the costs, whether he, what is needed to complete it, so that when he lays the foundation and is not able to complete it, all who see do not begin to laugh at him, saying: this man began to build and could not finish? Or what king, going to war against another king, does not sit down and consult first whether he is able with ten thousand to resist the one coming against him with twenty thousand? (Luke 14:28–31).

Very often we are frightened by the unknown, the unfamiliarity of the upcoming situation or some new business for us. In this place in the Gospel we find the answer to how to overcome this fear. You need to carefully think through the problem, that is, “sit down and calculate the costs,” collect information about it, and consult with knowledgeable, experienced people. Then uncertainty and fears will recede, because most of them come from inexperience and lack of knowledge. The method of visualization also helps. When we play out a situation in advance: we imagine what bad things can happen and under what conditions, and then we imagine the situation from a position that is successful for us and try to understand how to behave so that everything ends successfully. For example, what will happen if I cannot resist a larger enemy army with ten thousand? Isn't it worth starting peace negotiations then? Or, on the contrary, I need to think about what tactics I should choose and how to prepare fighters in order to easily defeat superior enemy forces. Knowledge of the situation and a correct, sober assessment of your own capabilities will help you cope with your fears.

Anxiety and trepidation in front of an unknown, unfamiliar situation stem from a lack of experience. By meeting fear, we are able to overcome it. The Monk Paisius of Athonite tells how he overcame his childhood fears: “When I was little, I was afraid to walk past the cemetery in Konitsa. So I slept in the cemetery for three nights and the fear went away. I crossed myself with the banner of the cross and went in there, without even lighting a flashlight, so as not to scare anyone.”

Prevention of certain alarming situations can also help cope with anxiety. For example, many of us suffer from forgetfulness, absent-mindedness and are constantly nervous that we will forget or miss something important. Here again, prevention helps. You can keep a diary or write down current affairs in an electronic notebook. Some forgetful people stick reminder notes in visible places. Such simple techniques will help save a lot of nerve cells.

People who have the habit of constantly being late everywhere also often worry, worry about this, and then wait with fear for a reprimand from their superiors. You can avoid stress due to being late in a very simple way: make it a rule to always come to work or an important meeting 15–20 minutes ahead of schedule, plan your day and current affairs in advance.

All goes to good

We talked about how to overcome anxiety and fear of the problem we expect. But what if we are already faced with a difficulty? After all, even here it is easy to panic, start worrying and become despondent.

One of my acquaintances suffered a huge number of misfortunes and sorrows. In his large family, children were born disabled or became disabled as a result of car accidents. He himself and his wife suffered from numerous illnesses, and he constantly found himself in very difficult life situations. Misfortunes followed him at almost every step. I’ll be honest: if only ten percent of the sorrows he endured fell on me, I would fall into deep despondency. I once asked this sufferer: “What helps you get through all this?” And he answered me: “One day I realized that everything that the Lord sends me is very necessary for me and my family. What happens to me is inevitable. They are either a consequence of my sins, or were sent to me for my benefit and salvation. Having realized this, I almost stopped worrying and worrying. I felt that I was inside God’s Providence for me and my family.” My friend taught me a lot. He treated his sorrows philosophically. Even in great misfortunes, he saw great benefit for himself and his loved ones and knew how to rejoice in what God gives him.

Problems, sorrows, losses in our lives are inevitable. But it is not they themselves that make us worry and worry, but the wrong attitude towards them. The conclusion from this is: we need to learn to see the benefit and receive joy from everything that happens to us.

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces perseverance” (James 1:2-3), the Apostle James tells us.

One wise man watched for a long time an elderly woman who constantly cried in any weather - both when the sun was shining and when it was raining. The sage asked the old woman: “Why do you always cry? What's bothering you? Why does neither the sun nor the rain make you happy? Then the woman told him: “I have two daughters. One of them is a laundress, she washes clothes, and the other sells umbrellas. If the sun is shining, no one buys umbrellas and the daughter is left without income. And in rainy weather the laundry does not dry and it is difficult for the laundress to work. So I worry about them.” Then this wise man gave the woman advice: when it rains, be happy for the umbrella saleswoman, and when the weather is sunny, be happy for the one who washes the clothes. After this, the woman calmed down, was always in a good mood and was happy for her two daughters.

Results

Once again, let’s briefly remember what helps us cope with anxiety.

Faith in God and hope in Him.

Submission to the will of God.

A prayer to the Lord, a request for help.

Correct, objective vision of problems, experiencing them as they arise.

Preparedness for a problem, information about it, the experience of other people.

Prevention of alarming situations.

The ability to see useful, joyful moments in problems.

Archpriest Pavel Gumerov

Worry often gives small things a big shadow.
Swedish proverb.

People go to self-destruction in different ways. One of them is excessive worry.
Someone worries too much about loved ones or their career, creating negative scenarios in their heads. Worry turns into a worm that eats away at you like Dutch cheese and you have less and less energy left.

How to learn to quickly cope with anxious thoughts and not let them into your head? Let's look at a few techniques.

Concentrate on the present moment. Be “Here” and “Now”

An overly developed imagination and thoughts about how the situation might turn out in the future give rise to the greatest worries and anxieties. If you obsess over this and constantly come up with negative scenarios for the development of the situation, it will not lead to anything good. It’s even worse if you remember some similar negative situation from the past and project it onto current events.

If you spend too much time and energy imagining the future in such a negative way or constantly tormenting yourself with painful memories of the past, this further weakens your nervous system.

If you want to worry less, concentrate on the current moment! To do this, use the following tips:

1. Think about today. At the beginning of the day, or whenever worries begin to cloud your mind, sit down for a moment and stop. Breathe. Narrow your focus significantly. Don't look ahead, as you will see goals to achieve and will begin to worry even more. Just focus on the current day. Nothing more. “Tomorrow” is not going anywhere.

2. Talk about what you are doing now. For example: “I’m brushing my teeth now.” It is very easy to travel back to the past and future. And this phrase will quickly bring you back to the present moment.

Ask yourself, how many times have your negative predictions for the future gone wrong?

Many things you fear will never happen to you. They are just monsters living in your head. And even if something you fear actually happens, it most likely won’t be as bad as you pictured it to be. Worrying is often a waste of time.

Of course, this is easier said than done. But if you ask yourself the question of how much of what you were worried about actually happened in your life, then you will definitely be let go.

Refocus from intense worry to how you can influence your current situation.

To get out of a state of anxiety, think about what you can do to change the situation for the better and start changing it.
There are only two options for the development of the situation:

1. either you are unable to influence it and, in this case, there is no point in exhausting yourself with worry,
2. either you can influence it and, then, you need to stop worrying and start acting.

What do you do when you feel your brain clouded with anxiety?

Any manifestation of the external and internal world finds a response in a person in the form of emotions. Our health directly depends on what they are, negative or positive, strong or not. This article is about the signs of nervousness and its causes. .

People at any age experience mental stress. If a child can laugh with tears in his eyes, and a teenager forgets about unhappy love after 3-4 days, then an adult worries about any reason, and scrolls through unpleasant thoughts in his memory for a long time, cherishing them inside himself, thereby driving his psyche into a state of stress.

This is explained by the fact that with age, immune defense decreases, hormonal levels change and a person becomes more and more prone to a negative perception of reality. And there are plenty of reasons to be nervous in the modern world - excessive haste, daily stress at home and at work, hard work, social vulnerability, etc.

Why are we nervous?

Objective reasons

• The human condition has changed as a biological species. At the beginning of evolution, man led a natural lifestyle: the level of physical activity and the neuropsychic stress necessary for survival corresponded to each other. The habitat was environmentally friendly, and if it became unsuitable, then a community of people changed it for another without trying to change itb.

• The information environment has changed. Every decade the amount of information accumulated before doubles. Scientific and technological progress has a colossal impact on the brain: the speed at which information is received does not correspond to the biological capabilities of its assimilation, which is aggravated by a lack of time.

Children at school, especially diligent ones, experience information overload: the mental state of a first-grader when writing tests and the state of an astronaut at the moment of take-off of the spacecraft are comparable.

Many professions also create information loads: an air traffic controller, for example, must simultaneously control up to two dozen aircraft, and a teacher must pay enough attention to dozens of students.

• Urban population growth increased the density of human contacts and the degree of tension between people. The number of unpleasant and unavoidable relationships has increased in public transport, in queues, in stores. At the same time, beneficial contacts (for example, family contacts) have decreased and take only about 30 minutes per day.

• Increased noise level, especially in cities, exceeds natural norms and has a negative impact on our psyche and the body as a whole: blood pressure and respiratory rate changes, sleep and dream patterns are disturbed, and other unfavorable symptoms. We are exposed to noise almost constantly, sometimes without noticing it (TV, radio).

• Bad ecology also has an indirect effect on the brain and psyche. High levels of carbon monoxide in the air we breathe reduce gas exchange in the brain and its performance. Sulfur and nitrogen oxides disrupt brain metabolism.

Radioactive contamination occupies a special place in the deterioration of mental functioning: our nervous system suffers greatly from its high level. The psychological impact of this factor aggravates the harmful effect, generating fear.

• Scientific and technological revolution improved the material conditions of human habitation, but at the same time significantly reduced its margin of safety. A decrease in physical activity has led to disruption of the biological mechanisms of the human body.

Subjective reasons

Strong emotions are usually a defensive reaction to manifestations of the outside world. We get nervous if we are not confident in ourselves, in our present, we experience fear of the future, dissatisfaction with ourselves and others.

Any living organism, in the presence of a threat, responds with compression (muscle tension) - to become invisible, to hide so that the “predator” does not notice or eat. In the modern world, this “predator” has been transformed into different images of the social and public environment: level of well-being, relationships with superiors, fear of responsibility, fear of criticism and condemnation, small pension, impending poor old age, etc.

These social “predators” scare us, we want to hide and not think about them, but our thoughts always return to unpleasant things willingly and spontaneously. From here, nervous tension arises again and again, which means the body instinctively contracts.

What happens to the body during nervous tension

Strong and prolonged emotions plunge the body into a state of stress: muscle tone increases, heart rate accelerates, digestion slows down, the stress hormone cortisol and the action and anxiety hormone adrenaline are released into the blood.

All internal resources are mobilized to overcome danger, the body is ready for quick action.

Such a defensive reaction is an ancient form of response, genetically determined and necessary for the survival of humans as a biological species. It involves physical activity, the body must work off “adrenaline”. And that is why physical activity helps with nervous tension.

Thus, Nervous tension is always accompanied by unconscious muscle tension . With constant nervousness and a sedentary lifestyle, muscle tone becomes chronic. A person seems to be encased in a muscular shell; movement within it requires enormous energy expenditure. Therefore, fatigue is a faithful companion to nervous states.

Due to constant muscle tension, performance decreases, irritability appears, and the functions of the digestive, cardiovascular and other systems and organs are disrupted.

Signs of nervous tension. How to help yourself

Nagging pain in the back, lower back, neck, shoulder girdle. With any nervous overload, the tension of the skeletal muscles increases, while the muscles of the neck, shoulder blades and biceps bear increased load.

Bring your index finger and thumb together and clasp them tightly on both hands.

Do stretching exercises for the whole body and different muscle groups.

Massage your ankles, moving up to your thighs. Do the same for your arms, moving up from your hands to your shoulders.

Sleep disturbance. It is well known that the best and safest medicine for nervousness is sleep. However, if you go to bed with a load of problems, then your brain continues to solve them in your sleep, which does not allow you to fully rest. , in turn leads to a depressed state. It turns out to be a vicious circle.

A phyto-pillow will help - mix herbs in the following proportions:

o Mint, meadowsweet, lemon balm, wormwood - 1:1:1:2,

o Yellow clover, tansy color, lavender - 2:2:1,

o Chamomile, rosemary color, yarrow - 3:1:1,

o Hop cones.

Place this herbal-smelling pillow next to you at night. It is better to push the pillow with hop cones onto the floor as soon as you start to fall asleep. Otherwise, you risk oversleeping for work.

Making a phyto pillow is not difficult: put the herbs in a sewn gauze pillowcase, you can simply wrap it. It is better to store in a paper bag.

No interest in sex. The subconscious of a person in a difficult life situation establishes a ban on receiving pleasure from life. So that he doesn’t get scattered and throws all his energy into solving problems. It turns out to be a contradiction: a person in this state, on the contrary, needs positive emotions, namely the pleasure hormones endorphins produced during sex, because these hormones protect the body from stress and minimize its harmful effects.

It is necessary to have sex during difficult periods of life! Experts advise following biorhythms. In men and women, mutual readiness occurs around 16:00, the most unfavorable time is 18:00. But, of course, these recommendations are conditional.

Refusal to engage in a favorite hobby. All efforts are aimed at eliminating the cause of nervous tension (finishing a project, finishing an article, preparing a report, etc.), but there is simply not enough time or energy for the rest of life. The whole body is like a string, all thoughts are about one thing. This attitude towards the problem aggravates mental and physical discomfort.

Make it a rule to give yourself the opportunity to rest. Let your day off be a real break from all your problems. This will provide the necessary energy to solve troubling problems.

Repetitive actions: tapping fingers, swinging legs, walking back and forth. This is a natural reaction of a person to emotional stress, this is how he tries to restore balance and calm down.

Help yourself with similar repetitive actions: you can walk up and down the stairs, touch your rosary, knit. Even chewing gum has a good effect; chewing movements activate cerebral circulation, which increases resistance to stressful situations.

Stress and everyday problems haunt us every day. A strong person successfully copes with situations that arise in his life, but there is a category of people who worry about any reason. An emotional and violent reaction to stimuli leads to overstrain of the nervous system, fatigue and inability to act adequately in the current situation. Many problems can simply be ignored or let go, but you need to learn how to react competently to stress factors.

What happens to us when we are nervous

• Heart rate increases.
• Palms sweat.
• The thought process changes - it speeds up or, conversely, slows down.
• Tearfulness appears.
• There is a desire to drink or smoke.
• We react inadequately to the situation, enter into conflicts, and become disappointed.

How to stop reacting and worrying about little things

1. Every problem has its time. We often think of something that has not yet happened, we begin to build in our brain a possible development of events, and in a negative way, which causes a surge of certain emotions in us. This leads to the first rule: we solve problems as they arise and stop planning their development in our imagination.
2. Keep yourself busy with something: physical or intense mental work that is not related to the problem. Make sure you have something to do throughout the day.
3. Learn breathing exercises. Various breathing practices are well developed in the yoga system, where you can also learn meditation techniques that will allow you to calm your emotions and learn to control yourself. Calming breathing helps even in extreme situations when you need to take a break and find the most effective solution.
4. Live for today. Many problems are not worth attention. Got rude in line? Why should you care about a complete stranger and his mood? With his behavior, he only makes things worse for himself, but if you respond to his words or actions, your mood will deteriorate as well. Why do you need this? Just pass or answer completely calmly and without emotion - this way you will maintain your peace of mind and prevent the conflict from developing.
5. We often begin to get annoyed by loved ones after living next to them for a long time. Understand that each person is an individual, with his own habits and needs. At the beginning of your life together, the person was the same, but you did not pay attention to minor shortcomings, so why did you start doing this now? Let yourself know that every person has the right to freedom, character flaws and a certain way of thinking. There is no need to try to change someone, it is better to engage in self-education.
6. Stop feeling guilty for what is happening. Incorrect upbringing in childhood leads to the fact that an adult already feels for his actions. You are not to blame for anything! You don't owe anything to anyone, and people don't owe you anything. Just live and enjoy. Yes, we are responsible for many actions, but they happened, we just need to accept them as a fait accompli and move on with our lives.
7. Learn to deal with fear. The expectation of failure and danger paralyzes us, preventing us from thinking and acting effectively. Fear is an instinct, but it is only needed in dangerous situations. Are you afraid of flying? But if you count the number of accidents in air transport, it turns out that there are much fewer of them than in water or land transport. Are you afraid to change your life? So you will live in obscurity and financial restrictions. Are you afraid to love or marry the person you love? Then he will find another partner. Do what you are afraid of and you will feel free.
8. Don't overthink it. Our thoughts can bring the experience of a situation to the point of absurdity. An even greater danger is worrying about what has not yet happened and whether it will happen at all. If you really want to replay the plot of future events in your head, then imagine them in the best light, how you would like it to happen. We are able to attract situations and problems to ourselves only by thinking about them, so thoughts should be as positive as possible.
9. Stop worrying about what others think. In fact, other people don't care about you. It seems to us that people rejoice with us or worry, but each of us is more worried about our own problems. Are you worried about gossip? Forget about it and don’t try to prove something to people, it will only get worse. Walk past the gossipers, smiling, communicate with him evenly and calmly, they are not worthy of your attention, but your peace of mind is much more important. And don’t listen to the gossip that “well-wishers” tell you, just live the way you think is right.
10. Accept the inevitable. Much that has already happened cannot be changed. You can cry and worry for a while, but you can’t drag out this process. Take an evening for yourself, take stock and accept the situation as a given. It happened, and it is impossible to change it.
11. Change what you can change. If you understand that something else can be changed in your favor, stop worrying and outline an action plan. Calculate everything down to the smallest detail, turn off your emotions, they only get in the way, and decide what you will do next. A clear plan will help you put your thoughts and affairs in order, and also get what you want.
12. Don't strive for complete perfection. Yes, we must try to do everything as best as possible, but there is no ideal, and the desire for perfection is dangerous for peace of mind. The ideal figure exists only in glossy magazines, the ideal report is in the thoughts of the authorities. Yes, you should do your job as well as possible, as long as it feels comfortable, but if you understand that striving for the ideal brings you discomfort, it’s time to slow down.
13. Allow yourself to make mistakes. There is no person in the world who has never made a mistake. Any mistakes are our experience, a way of mastering the world around us. Every mistake is an opportunity to learn something new about yourself or your work. There is a category of people who believe that they are not mistaken. This view of the world is dangerous because it is associated with childhood fears of doing the wrong thing. If you do not see the real results of your actions and do not understand where you acted incorrectly, then in the future there may come a time when a major mistake is actually made, which can no longer be corrected.

Sometimes the principle of “forgetting about the situation” helps. The most important thing is to accept yourself, love yourself, little things are not worth our attention, they are part of our life and nothing more. Remember, physical health largely depends on emotions and psychological mood, so learn to calm down and find pleasure in the little things.

Many people are constantly in a state of worry, and as soon as another problem is solved, they begin to worry about something else. And so, year after year, they succumb to this bad habit, which takes away strength and deprives them of the joy of life. If you know this quality in yourself and want to become happier, I will try to help you.

Solve problems as they arise

Don't worry about the past or the future! Think about today, decide only what is needed at the moment.

And that doesn't mean you don't care about the future. Quite the opposite: if you live today as well as possible, this will be the key to a good future. Every morning tell yourself that today you will do everything to make the most of this day, because you only get to live it once! Don’t poison your life with worries about the past that cannot be changed, and don’t waste time in empty dreams about the future, be happy today, right now!

Think about the worst that could happen

If you are worried about a situation, think about what could happen in the worst case scenario? Is it so scary and is it worth worrying about? Be prepared to accept any consequences calmly and look for ways to improve the situation.

Set Clear Goals

It doesn’t hurt to know clearly what you want from life. Then there will be much less reason for concern - after all, a purposeless existence excludes peace of mind.

Learn to solve problems effectively

Start by writing down everything that's bothering you and prioritizing it. Then, next to each problem, write down what you can do, schedule when you will do it, or start solving the problem immediately. Write down all your tasks in a diary and cross them out as soon as you finish - this will save you from anxiety caused by confusion and fear of a mountain of tasks, which in reality always turns out to be not so scary!

Keep yourself busy with something interesting

If you are used to constantly worrying about trifles, try doing something interesting. You need to occupy every minute so that you simply have no time to think about something extraneous - read, dance, take pictures, play games! By focusing on one thing, you won't be able to worry about all that nonsense.

Give a correct assessment of things and situations

Most people pay too much for many things. What seems valuable and important to you now will probably depreciate over time - so is it worth breaking spears and causing a scandal? Stop and think about whether the price you are paying is too high?

Get rid of guilt

If you think that not worrying about anything means being a soulless egoist, then you are mistaken! Your experiences can lead to neurosis and stomach ulcers, but they cannot help anyone. Do not confuse experience and compassion, the first is a product of fear, the second is a product of love. Compassion means transferring the situation onto yourself and striving to help the victim in accordance with your experience, and not tormenting yourself with empty experiences. So if you can’t help, stop wasting your time. And you shouldn’t take responsibility for the actions of other people - they are adults and must make decisions themselves.

Don't create a problem for yourself

Often, in anticipation of some event, we begin to replay it in our minds, imagine the worst and get upset. Ask yourself: what is the likelihood of this actually happening? Relax - what will happen will happen, and if you cannot change a future event in any way, stop worrying about it. For example, you passed the exam and, nervously, are waiting for the result. But you’ve already done everything you could to get a high grade, and worrying won’t change anything.

Get rid of fear

Are you afraid that you will be fired, that your wife (husband) will cheat on you, that your children will not live up to expectations, that you will get fat, lose weight, get old?.. Stop it! You can always find another job; not all husbands and wives cheat - especially if you both try to save the family. You can almost always lose weight and gain weight back if you want! And everyone gets old, nothing can be done about it! Well, are you not afraid anymore?

Accept your own imperfections

If you don’t like yourself and constantly worry about it, you urgently need to change your attitude towards yourself! Self-love is the basis of mental balance. You should love yourself no matter what you look like, and having high expectations won't do you any good. No one is perfect, beautiful models on magazine covers look completely different in real life! So love yourself with all your weight, height, freckles and so on.

Don't worry about other people's opinions

Do you often worry about what other people will think? Believe me, they have plenty of other things to do to think about you! So do what you want – within reason, of course, and don’t worry about other people’s opinions. It also doesn't hurt to boost your self-esteem - there are many articles and books on this topic. And then you won’t be unsettled by a rude word or a sidelong glance from another person.

Understand that no one has to live up to your expectations.

Do you often get angry with your loved ones because they are not what you want them to be? But you also have shortcomings. Stop harassing those around you with petty quibbles, accept them for who they are - after all, an adult cannot be changed if he himself does not want to change!

Balance work and pleasure

If you only want to have fun, then work will only irritate you - because it takes away precious time that could be spent on entertainment. In this case, you need to realize the need to earn money and start enjoying the process. If this is not possible, look for another job. Remember – a job you don’t like shortens your life by 8 hours a day!

Stop rushing!

There are people who try to do everything as quickly as possible. They have everything according to plan, every minute is scheduled - and this is a constant source of stress! After all, absolutely any little thing can unsettle and cause irritation: an unexpected phone call, a sudden blackout, a broken plate. Stop and enjoy the peace and this very minute that you were going to mindlessly waste in pursuit of speed. By constantly rushing, you may be late to do the most important thing - enjoy life.

Anxiety, suspiciousness, restlessness are constant companions of unbalanced people and subtle but effective tools of self-destruction. Therefore, the ability to control oneself, without straining over trifles and refraining from worrying about every minor issue, can definitely be classified as useful, and sometimes even vital, qualities of human nature.

Let's understand the problem and find out how to learn to worry less without getting irritated about anything.

Of course, sometimes circumstances develop in such a way that even the most persistent people lose ground under their feet and confidence in the future. But admit it to yourself: most of our worries have no good reason.

If you tend to get nervous over little things - negative comments about you, unsatisfactory study results, or even bad weather - it's time to pull yourself together.

Excessive worry and endless mental replays of negative scenarios ruin your life much more than the real background of your fears and concerns. Being nervous about any reason, we inexorably lose energy and become less active, depriving ourselves of the pleasure of life with our own hands.

How to stop worrying about small things

To curb your own anxiety, you must first find its source. Using the age-old advice “know yourself,” you will become acquainted with your inner enemy. The vast majority of people create reasons for worry thanks to an overdeveloped, poorly controlled imagination. By focusing on possible negative developments, you begin to worry about the future and thereby completely ruin your mood in the present.

The recipe for getting out of the situation is simple, but not everyone can implement it: you need to learn to concentrate on the present moment.

As soon as worry begins to fill your mind, take a deep breath and:

• think soberly about how many times your negative forecasts were actually fulfilled - probably not often, which means that there is a high probability of no cause for alarm in this particular case;
• start thinking about today, for example, about the process that you are doing here and now - brushing your teeth, reading a book, shopping;
• mentally talk through all your current actions to distract yourself from disturbing sensations.

Accustom yourself to the idea that worrying is nothing more than a waste of time and energy. It is known that we usually have to deal with two types of situations - some we can influence, while the outcome of all others does not depend on us.

If you are interested in a positive outcome from the current situation, ask yourself a simple question: “What can I really do about this?” and honestly evaluate your answer. Does nothing depend on you?

Great, then there’s no point in exhausting yourself with anxiety and worries. Can your actions affect the outcome?

Worry will be a bad help: you need to concentrate on achieving your goal, stop being nervous and start taking action. A brain clouded by anxiety works less efficiently - remember this and don’t let yourself down.

How to stop being nervous and worrying a lot even when there are good reasons

Sometimes the anxiety that envelops the mind has real, not fictitious reasons. For example, there was a break in relations with someone important to you. Or you have an important exam coming up. Or you have been scheduled for an interview on which your career depends.

The reasons may be really weighty, but this does not mean that you need to let the situation take its course and allow your imagination to dramatize it. It is useful to know how to stop worrying about work, school or personal relationships, so that nervous tension does not prevent you from achieving your goal.

Simple breathing exercises will help relieve jitters before an important event. They allow you to calm your worries and calm your nerves.

This is done like this:

• counting evenly to four, take a deep breath;
• we hold the air in our lungs and count to two;
• exhale slowly (again in four counts);
• counting to two, do not breathe, and then repeat everything from the beginning.

By taking full, deep breaths and exhaling with the obligatory short breath-hold, after a while you will notice that your head has cleared up and your thoughts have become calmer.

But just don't forget to breathe "A+", engage the aperture; after all, shallow breathing does not give such an effect.

In this way, we suppress the physiological manifestations of nervousness, gradually calming down - just 3-5 minutes, and it will become easier, especially if you concentrate on breathing, not allowing disturbing images to completely take over you. Breathing exercises are an accessible way to keep the situation under control, even when everything is literally falling out of your hands.

How to stop worrying if an unpleasant event has already happened and thoughts about it haunt you?

To begin with, stop replaying the unpleasant scene in your head (this is difficult to achieve, but a necessary condition for moving into "quiet mode"). Meditation gives good results: by meditating regularly (at least for a few minutes a day), you will eventually learn to control your consciousness well and drive away unnecessary thoughts like annoying flies.

M hi to you, dear visitors of the Orthodox website “Family and Faith”!

N Restlessness and excitement give rise to forgetfulness and absent-mindedness. How to get rid of these soul-harming worries? What is the real reason for our nervousness?

Archimandrite Amrosy (Fontrier) gives clear answers to these and the questions below:

What is the basis for peace of mind and joy?

How to train your memory and get rid of forgetfulness?

What causes strong excitement?

Is it possible to never worry?

How to get out of depression?

How to get rid of hypocrisy and irritability?

"M We have already said that during confession the Lord gives grace-filled strength to fight sins. Why is a person nervous? This is not on a nervous basis, but on a sinful basis. When a person repents of all his sins, he is reconciled with God, and after confession he has peace of mind and peace. And we must try to gain grace for ourselves through prayers, good deeds, and reading holy books. If someone has offended us or offended us, then we should thank God and internally think only good things about people. We will have inner strength, confidence, peace, and we will not freak out. This way we will quickly get rid of this passion.

You know, when bare wires touch each other under voltage, then a short circuit occurs. And after a short circuit, keep in mind, there is often a fire! Sparks fly... You and I have raw nerves from constant sins. One has exposed nerves, the other... We live together and during a nervous conversation we begin to sparkle. A spiritual fire begins, because one has no humility, the other... Because of this, you and I are burning - we are preparing our souls for hell. You need to insulate your nerves - learn to humble yourself.

Prayer, repentance, good deeds, patience - this is the basis for peace of mind and joy. Do not forget to forgive your neighbor, even before he asks you for forgiveness; you need to forgive him not only for his peace of mind; You yourself need to forgive his sins against you. Whoever forgives others, God forgives him. This is how we will make isolation.

When we pray every day, then we will train our memory. It is necessary in the morning to remember all loved ones for health and peace; call on the Mother of God and saints for help, for example: “Pray to God for me, Holy Father Nicholas, Innocent of Irkutsk, John of Tobolsk, the healer Panteleimon, Hermogenes and Theodosius of Chernigov, Seraphim of Sarov, Job of Pochaev, Iasaph of Belgorod, Anthony, Theodosius and other miracle workers of Pechersk , Saint Basil of Kineshem, Saint Alexy - the man of God, the Great Martyrs Barbara, Catherine, Queen Tamara, Vera, Nadezhda, Love and their mother Sophia...” And you can call on everyone for intercession. Pray to the Archangels, Angels, Cherubim, Seraphim, Thrones, Authorities, Dominions, Principalities, Powers... And when we pray like this, the memory immediately begins to work and we begin to train it. It’s good, when we go to bed, to read some chapter from the Gospel, the Epistles... This should be done every day. And in the morning, when you wake up, read it again, and everything will be restored in our memory.

Usually, anxiety comes from our pride, from depravity: “What if we say or do something in a way that is not necessary, and in the eyes of other people we will humiliate ourselves.” That's why a person begins to worry.

People often ask: how to get out of depression? How to get rid of hypocrisy and irritability? All these questions can be answered with one answer: only the Lord will help through the Sacrament of Repentance, when we force ourselves to see our insides, our shortcomings, vices and passions. We will reveal them in the Sacrament of Confession - we will tell the Lord about them, then He, by forgiving us, will give us grace-filled strength to fight sin.

And in order to never worry... I will give a small example from life, from my personal experience.

When I lived in the Pochaev Lavra and led excursions for 5 years, preaching to a huge flow of people, there were inevitable troubles from evil spirits. One day the governor received a call from the executive committee asking me to come there: a KGB colonel had arrived from the region and a local “KGB officer” had come. They must interview me.

Well, naturally, there may be some excitement if I live in a monastery, I serve the Lord and I will have to meet people who have not yet come to God. I set myself up so as not to worry: “The Lord will help me. He is my Creator, gives me life and everything I need for it. He knows all my thoughts, the secrets of my heart. And suddenly - I’m afraid of someone! After all, all people are in the hands of the Lord! If God doesn’t allow it, they won’t do anything to me. And then the time will come when I will have to go into Eternity - and suddenly I was afraid of someone. Who was I afraid of? The same as myself. But these people are in the hands of the Lord. As far as the Lord allows them for my benefit, they will be able to do something for me. So it will be.” And that’s how I set myself up. I prayed, read the akathist to St. Nicholas and went with a calm soul, not worrying at all. Although they locked the door when I entered the office. And I didn’t even have an ounce of excitement or any fear. On the contrary, I started the conversation myself and didn’t panic, thinking: “What questions will they ask me?” He started the conversation himself. Why should I be afraid if the Lord is with me? Let them fear themselves - the Lord is not with them! We talked for four hours. And he left with a satisfied, calm soul. Everything depends on us, on how we set ourselves up. And so in any business.”

God wants us to look at our lives the way He looks at them. He is not overcome by anxiety, panic, or fear. After all, the Lord is the embodiment of His Kingdom, the Kingdom of God. He is the Kingdom of Truth for which we are waiting. He is heaven, and in heaven there can be no problems. And therefore there is no such problem that would “stand” before God.

Therefore, when we begin to truly pray, when we stop living in the material world, when we change our lives and strive for God, problems cease to exist and all our fears disappear.

One person got cancer. Having seen the results of his tests, he began to pray, and prayed for a very long time. It was not the way you and I pray – for five minutes. He devoted himself entirely to prayer in order to meet God. And when he saw the Lord (that is, felt Him), he forgot what he wanted to ask Him for. His fear disappeared, he forgot about his illness, he even forgot what he wanted to pray for. And then the man realized that before the Face of God there were no problems worth worrying about. This understanding comes to us when the Lord is constantly in our heart. That’s why He tells us: “ Watch and pray so that you do not fall into temptation"(Matthew 26:41). That is constantly watch and pray, and then everything that can confuse you will disappear, and no problems will exist for you.

Sometimes in a temple built at a high altitude, in cloudy weather you can see such a picture. It’s cloudy outside, but the church is flooded with sunlight. How can this be? It’s just that the clouds drop very low, and the dome of the temple is high. And so the sun shines on the dome, and the rays thus penetrate into the temple.

The same thing can happen to us. If we manage to rise above the clouds of our earthly life, full of worries, and touch God, then we will feel that rays of bright light are bursting into our hearts and now nothing that once worried us is no longer a cause for concern. We will perceive difficulties in a completely different way - much more calmly. It will feel like a slight dizziness or even drunkenness - but the drunkenness is sober. The Church will give us such intoxication - but not to such an extent that we will lose our minds or quickness of mind. No, we will simply be able to withstand any blow in this life and overcome any pain.

One drug addict came early one morning to Elder Paisius and told him:

“Father, I came so early because while my head is thinking, I can talk to you.” And then I take the dose and can no longer communicate.

And the elder had a wonderful conversation with him. He looked deeply into his soul - he conducted a downright anatomical study there, one might say - he did a computed tomography scan of the heart. He spoke to this man about God, trying to convey to him the love of Christ.

After this, the drug addict said to the elder:

- Oh, father, the same thing is happening to me again! I came to you without having time to take the dose, but I leave as if I had already taken it! It's strange - you made me feel like I was in heaven, like when I take a drug. It's like you got me drunk!

The elder replied:

– Don’t you see any difference? Are they the same thing? Does the drug you take make you feel in your soul what I made you feel?

The drug addict said in response:

- No, there is a big difference here. You, father, intoxicated me with your words, but at the same time I did not lose my mind. After this I can communicate, I know who I am, what I want, what I need. I feel like I'm alive. And after the drug, the feeling of pleasant intoxication passes very quickly. Very soon I return to reality and begin to experience such pain in my head, as if I was hitting it against an iron wall. My head hurts, my soul hurts - my whole life becomes a complete pain. That's the difference.

In his writings, Karl Marx calls religion a drug, an opium for the people.

And the Church in response to this says: religion is a medicine for the people. Faith is for the soul what medicine is for the body, with only one difference: this medicine is taken painlessly. What Marx calls opium is not a drug. Faith helps the soul to withstand the suffering caused by life.

But at the same time, this medicine supports the vitality of the soul, prevents it from falling asleep, and brings it closer to God. It’s as if we are in a sweet dream, filled with happiness, joy, and faith. A believer seems to live in another world, but at the same time he is here - here and now, fully aware of what is happening. But the addict does not understand what is happening to him. He cannot communicate normally, cannot live in peace, it is difficult for him to start a family, give birth and raise children.

The church doesn't get drunk. It's kind of intoxicating. " I'm drunk, says Saint Isaac the Syrian, intoxicated by Divine love, thanks to which I can look at everything from the other side».

Now, if you go up to a drunk and tell him: “Your house is on fire!” What will he answer? Never mind.

We feel the same way in the Church. We call it sober intoxication– intoxication associated with constant wakefulness, or sobriety. It seems like these are completely opposite concepts - I can’t be both drunk and sober at the same time. Yes, this can only be in the Church. While outside the walls of the Church there is only oblivion, a painful and disastrous oblivion that leads to death. And the Church is intoxicating. But this is not intoxication in the generally accepted sense. This is the intoxication of happiness, thanks to which we begin to look at life completely differently. And this is not a theory. This is reality.

One student came to Elder Paisius and began to tell him about her “terrible” problems. What were these problems? She had a serious English exam coming up, and she was so nervous that she had to take anti-anxiety pills. She could not sleep, could not concentrate, her heart began to palpitate, her hair began to fall out... The elder told her:

“I envy you and pity you at the same time!” Now I’ll explain both, and you choose what you like best. I feel sorry for you because a small problem is making you worry so much. You are ruining your wonderful young years because you get sick with exam anxiety. Should this really be considered a real problem?

Let me take you to some drug addict, or to a cancer patient, to a dying person, to an intensive care unit - so that you can see what real problems are. What are you facing now, or what are these people living with? And you will immediately understand that your problem, which causes you such fear, is not at all as big as it seems. That's why I feel sorry for you. What seems important to you is something that is actually not that important. Taking the insignificant for the significant, you greatly exaggerate everything and this makes you sick. I feel sorry for you because you are drowning in a glass of water. But you are a smart girl, you study at university!

- Yes, father, but you also said that you envy me...

– Yes, I even envy you, because your whole problem comes down to this one exam, while other people have much more problems. If only everyone had problems like you!

There is so much going on in life that you should thank God if your stress is caused by just one exam. It's not a problem. If you understand this, you will stop exaggerating the importance of a higher education diploma (and not only that). And you will calm down. A diploma should not be an obstacle to your happiness, it should not make you feel sad or anxious. You should not get sick from thoughts about whether you will be able to pass the exam, close the session... Yes, to pass this exam, you need to do the impossible. And I don’t encourage you to give up - no, you need to do everything in your power, as if everything depends only on you. But at the same time, we must remember that in fact everything depends on God. That is, in your heart you rely only on God, but your mind and hands work as if everything depends on you.

At the same time, the problem does not penetrate deep into your heart. There you are not interested in anything except God. And then, having loved God, you will say: “Lord, first of all I want to be with You! Take all my fears away from me and help me! Lord, You be the only worry in my life! Become my main thought! And take all other obsessions out of my head and stick me to Yourself. And if I cannot live without worries, then let me have only one worry - You, Lord, Your Kingdom, Your Paradise, as well as my soul, my connection with God, love for my neighbor and the Church.

If my main concern is Christ, then nothing else will bother me. I will cease to be interested in earthly things. And it is when this happens that I will begin to do earthly affairs without fear and worry. And I will succeed. And I won’t worry anymore whether I will succeed or not. A person who lives in such harmony with himself, independent of circumstances, is always the most successful person in the world, because he is surrounded by grace.

So, Lord, become our main concern. And when this happens, we will see that You are not anxiety, but pleasure. And having understood this pleasure, we will understand that everything that worried us in this world is one big lie. And then our soul will calm down - once and for all.

And if we still continue to be afraid of something, let us ask the Lord to take one more step in our heart. So, little by little, as we join the Church and draw closer to Christ, we will stop worrying. Let us ask the Lord to give us His love and drive away from our hearts any fear, any worry, any anxiety about the present, past or future. And we will act in this life without fear and with ardent love for Christ!

Translation by Elizaveta Terentyeva