Chef phrases. Quotes on the topic “Cook
Chef is one of the most sought-after and most ancient professions. Records of culinary recipes can be found among the written monuments of Mesopotamia, Egypt, China and the Arab East. In ancient Rome, cooking was equated with art, and Cooking was called the tenth muse. Today legendary chefs are no less famous than show business stars, and their author's dishes have entered the treasury of world culture. We bring to your attention a selection of quotes and aphorisms about chefs, illustrated by the works of artists.
To The kings erect their statues, the priests erect their cathedrals. The cook does not leave any monuments, in addition to crumbs. His rarest creations are sent under the dishwasher scrapers and brushes. His greatest dishes are destined to go to the cesspool.
Lawrence Norfolk, The Feast of John Saturnall (2014)
H There are no bad foods - there are bad cooks. Or just very good ones. There is no middle ground here! William Pokhlebkin (1923 - 2000), the greatest connoisseur of Russian cuisine
T Whoever says that cooking is not as high art as painting and sculpture, I can say that they have asses instead of heads! It is much higher! The work of a sculptor is eternal, while the greatness of a cook is measured by how quickly his creations disappear. A true master must create masterpieces every day.
Hugo Di Fonte, The Taster (2002)
O the discovery of a new dish means more to humanity than the discovery of a new star...
Jean Antelme Brillat-Savarin (1755 - 1826), French philosopher and culinary specialist, author of the famous treatise "Physiology of Taste"
At Treating a person you like with dishes of your own making is an incomparable pleasure.
Karen Blixen, Goodbye Africa! (1937)
AT rachas are constantly working to preserve our health, and cooks - to destroy it; however, the latter are more confident of success.
Denis Diderot (1717 - 1784), French writer, philosopher and playwright
FROM part of it is a good bank balance, a good cook and good digestion.
Jean-Jacques Rousseau (1712 - 1778), French philosopher and writer
B God created food, but the devil made cooks.
John Taylor (1580-1653), English writer and poet
Mother worked and sang in the kitchen near the old stove, which was heated with coal. She stirred the apple jam that was bubbling in a large bowl. Or canned peaches. From them, a thick spicy spirit spread throughout the house. She was making jelly. A sack of fruit pulp hung over the stove.
Viscous juice flowed through the burlap into a basin, on the edges of which a dense pinkish foam settled. And in the middle of the pelvis, the juice was clear and red.
Mother baked bread twice a week. There was always a jar of sourdough in the glacier, and she never worried about the yeast. The bread came out fluffy and toasty, sometimes rising two or three inches off the pan. Taking the loaves out of the oven, the mother smeared the brown crust with butter and let the bread cool. But the buns were even better. Mother put them in the oven in such a way that they would be ripe for dinner. Buns from the heat, from the heat - just delicious! They were cut, smeared with oil, and it immediately melted; some kind of jam or jam made from apricots with nuts was put on top, and then nothing else would go into your mouth, although there was other food on the table. And sometimes, especially in summer, they gave a thick slice of bread with a piece of cold butter for dinner. Sprinkle sugar on top - and no cake is needed. Or you steal a thick circle of sweet Bermuda onions from the kitchen, put between two crusts of bread and butter - and, even though you go around the whole world, you will not find anything tastier.
In autumn, mother spent whole days, even for weeks on end, almost never got out of the kitchen. She canned peaches, cherries, raspberries, blueberries, plums, apricots, made jams, jams, jellies and marinades. She worked and sang, singing in her absent voice the same melody, without words, because she was thinking of something else.
Dalton Trumbo "Johnny Got a Rifle" (1939)
L better than cooking only good jazz and long sex.
Janusz Leon Wisniewski, “Loneliness on the Web” (2001)
FROM listening to music while eating is an insult to the cook and the violinist.
Gilbert Keith Chesterton (1874–1936), English novelist, poet, essayist
H The worse the cooks cook, the more polite the waiters should be.
Mikhail Vladimirovich Genin (1927 - 2003), satirist and aphorist
FROM too many cooks - goodbye stew
English proverb
The earth is also generous,
That there are cooks in the world! ...
Blessed be their simple destinies,
And hands, as if thoughts are clean.
Their profession is good in fact:
An evil person will not stand at the stove.
…
Let the chroniclers talk about eternity,
Let the tragedian sing of the dust of epochs.
And I'm talking about prose. About food. About food.
After all, if there is a God somewhere,
I see him at the great stove, -
Steamed, with a ladle in his hand.
With a mysterious, kind smile.
And - of course - in a white cap.
Robert Rozhdestvensky (1932 - 1994), Soviet poet and translator.
The name of the Catalan Ferran Adria is familiar to every lover of gourmet cuisine. He is the chef of the once best restaurant in the world, El Bulli, on the Costa Brava. In Spain, his name is equated with history - Adria is loved no less than Gaudi, Dali or Picasso. We have selected the top 10 chef's quotes about creativity, enjoyment of food and products.
To make food delicious, you need to be able to play with the ingredients. And, of course, creativity and novelty are important in the cooking process.
I say this: I work in the avant-garde genre, cooking a new generation of food. I believe that anyone can be intelligent and capable. But to invest your soul, emotions and personal experiences in your business - not everyone can do it. It's the same with any profession. Even if you work in the field and pick grapes. It's like architecture. You visually like the building, the style in which it is built, you look at it, you get emotions. But you cannot imagine how hard it was built and what it simply rests on, because you never studied to be an architect and a projector. The same with restaurants.
The main success of a restaurateur lies in the ability to make people happy.
The pleasure of eating It's like the pleasure of making love. Only when making love, you use all the same senses as in our gastronomy. You can, as in love, touch, listen to smells, taste everything - well, you understand me, who likes what
The main success of the restaurateur is about making people happy. I serve my customers myself and serve them prepared dishes with a detailed explanation of what kind of culinary miracle they will try. Personal contact with people who love and understand your cuisine is very important. Our team and I give our visitors pleasure, nurture their taste for good cuisine. And this, believe me, is more expensive than any money.
I don't have a Ferrari collection no luxury yacht. I am happy in the kitchen, and this is the most important thing!
To create is not to copy or imitate
All products have the same gastronomic value, regardless of their price. New technologies are simply a resource for promoting cooking. Although the characteristics of the products can be changed (temperature, structure, shape, etc.), the goal of cooking is to preserve as much as possible the purity of their original taste and aroma.
create means not to copy or imitate. Cooking is a language that can be used to convey harmony, happiness, beauty, complexity, poetry, magic, humor, provocation, culture - in general, everything that makes up our lives.
We are not better or worse than others We just love to surprise people. We live at the intersection of philosophy and creativity, that is, in constant search.
I never worked just for that to become number 1 in the world. When I opened a restaurant, the ultimate dream was to ever get a Michelin star. Now Michelin and number 1 in various ratings - everything is there, the ego is satisfied. But what is most pleasant, the top lines in the lists continue to be occupied by the "younger brothers" of El Bulli - the establishments that we opened after.
I never liked to study. I don’t have a chef’s education at all, and I didn’t know how to cook in my youth and didn’t particularly like it. I washed dishes in a restaurant on the beach. How I got into this jungle - I still wonder. My path of becoming is very atypical for a chef. Maybe that's why I manage to cook "atypical food". We have creativity at the forefront. And creativity is how you look at things in life. Everyone can be creative, but if you are a creator, you need a thermometer in order to determine which creativity is the most important and important. It's very hard to measure it. Our creativity is based on different organs of perception: sight, smell, tactile sensations. There is also taste and the so-called sixth sense, which is indispensable.
You need to eat to live, not live to eat.
Socrates
On an empty stomach, a Russian person does not want to do anything and think, but on a full stomach, he cannot.
Faina Ranevskaya
Do not make food a cult!
Ilf and Petrov
Man is what he eats.
Ludwig Feuerbach
There is nothing harder than becoming lighter.
It's not beer that kills people, it's water that kills people!
K-f "It can't be"
Everything you see I owe to spaghetti.
Sophia Loren
A glutton digs his own grave with his teeth.
English proverb
The first rule of nutrition: if it tastes good, then it's bad for you.
Isaac Asimov
Our food substances must be medicines, and our medicines must be food substances.
Hippocrates
Animals, which are few, were listed in the Red Book, and which are many - in the Book of Tasty and Healthy Food.
Faina Ranevskaya
After two weeks of the diet, I realized that I had lost... fourteen days of my life.
Appetite comes with eating, and counting comes after.
Gennady Malkin
My dear, if you want to lose weight, eat naked and in front of a mirror.
Faina Ranevskaya
Women go on a diet only in three cases: if their husband left them, if they like a man, if today is Monday.
Ekaterina Filimonova
The full and the dieter speak different languages.
The most magnificent feasts are arranged for the well-fed.
Linda Yasinskaya
Do you want to lose 7 kg in a week? It's simple. Lose weight by kg per day.
Mikhail Zadornov
Zhanna Golonogova
To lose weight well, you need to gain weight badly.
Valery Afonchenko
The table is the only place we don't get bored from the very first minute.
Anselme Brillat-Savarin
I'm not going to starve myself to live a little longer.
Irene Peter
Only occasionally do I get up from my diet...
Nothing separates people like taste and unites people like appetite.
Boris Krutier
Hindering happiness - you and being overweight.
The rich man's dinner is an outrage against the beggar's hunger.
Pierre Buast
The best way to get rid of extra pounds is to leave them on a plate.
Everything is a non-standard figure from year to year ...
Our whole life is a fuss of diets!
Today's women hide weight, not age.
Ratmir Tumanovsky
As for the mistress, the worst thing in this business is the need to eat two dinners a day. Oscar Levant
Women eat while talking, men talk while eating.
Malcolm de Chazal
Everything in the world is boring, except for food.
Arkady Davidovich
Brain cells are born and die, but fat cells live forever!
If you stay on a diet for a long time, you can go to bed.
Valentin Domil
Abundant food harms the body just as an abundance of water harms crops.
Abu'l-Faraj
A woman sits with me at the nutritionist, he says to her: “You can’t have meat and dough.” She says: “Oh, doctor, can I have dumplings?”
Mikhail Zadornov
Diet is another remedy that improves appetite.
Evan Esar
According to many men, the phrase “Is dinner ready?” means the same as "I love you".
Joey Adams
A balanced diet in the representation of children: a hamburger in the right hand and a hamburger in the left.
In the theater of life, the main thing is the buffet.
Gennady Malkin
Diet: The fasting period preceding weight gain.
Jadwiga Rutkovskaya
You can’t stay on a diet for a long time - your ass goes numb.
Yuri Tatarkin
The apotheosis of the diet: body weight is equal to its temperature.
There are most people without excess weight in the cemetery.
Beverly Sills
Eating too much is bad, and too little is boring.
A. Karabchievsky
Yanina Ipohorskaya
The less jam, the more it is praised.
"Poincaré's Rule"
If you want to lose weight, it is important to know that just losing weight is not enough, you need to lose weight on the right parts of the body.
Aron Vigushin
Nothing dulls hunger like thirst.
Semyon Altov
The fewer substances, the easier the exchange.
How did you lose weight! Do you do gymnastics? Or don't eat bread? Please tell me I need to lose weight too.
- Lose weight when food becomes not the most important joy in life.
Inna Goff
Toaster: a device that allows you to prepare two types of toast to your taste - burnt and underdone.
Sam Levenson
My wife and I are classmates, because both are on a diet.
A.V. Ivanov
The look from one woman to another is like checking luggage at customs.
Yanina Ipohorskaya
The process of dying begins at birth, but is accelerated during dinner parties.
Carol Mattho
The easiest way to lose weight is to eat when you're not hungry and fast when you're hungry.
Yuri Tatarkin
Hunger is the best cook. old proverb
She went on a diet and began to eat only illusions.
Yana Dzhangirova
Some live to eat, others eat to live, and others eat to lose weight.
I went on a diet a month ago and now I can't get up.
If you do not sit on a diet, but stand, then you will get rid of not only excess weight, but also hemorrhoids.
Yuri Tatarkin
Thanks to the refrigerator, we can now eat stale food.
Stefan Kiselevsky
To maintain a good figure, a woman needs only three things: a simulator, a massager and a boyfriend.
According to the classic Russian diet, you should eat once a day. But from morning to evening!
Mikhail Zadornov
Hunger: An appetite sharpened enough to kill others.
Stanislav Jerzy Lec
The most strict diet is to eat only what is useful, involuntarily you will always be half-starved.
Yuri Tatarkin
Extra pounds are deposited where they are most noticeable.
Maureen Murphy
After dinner he liked to eat.
Arkady Davidovich
The harder the butter, the softer the bread.
"Thiessen's Rule"
If the scales do not show what you want, you need to change something: either the scales or desires.
Alexander Tsitkin
Of all the suicide weapons, the most popular are the knife and fork.
Thin - from the word "bad".
I changed the zucchini to zucchini.
A.V. Ivanov
Cooking is a daily pleasure.
Some American housewife
Everything I like is either illegal or immoral or fattening.
Alexander Woolcott
Sugar - gives an unpleasant taste to coffee if it is not put there.
All mushrooms are edible, but some are only once in a lifetime.
Ah, diets! Neither this nor this!
folklore
Dessert is the best part of dinner, but once it's served, you usually can't eat anything anymore.
Not in horse karma.
Inna Veksler
A friend is known in food.
Konstantin Kushner
And “cheese-” and “gum-”, everything is a fat burger!
A.V. Ivanov
The complete happiness of a man is possible only next to a full woman.
The same dish is never the same.
Alain Lobro
You will not believe, but the current bread can be stored for six months - in your stomach.
Robert Orben
If you want to lose weight, eat everything, but don't swallow anything.
Harry Seacom
Hiding age is easy, weight is much more difficult.
Nutritionist prescription: eat less, 50% dose.
Alexander Tsitkin
The soup should be seen but not heard.
In the struggle between the heart and the head, the stomach eventually wins.
Stanislav Jerzy Lec
The cakes were so light and airy that a couple of kilograms flew in quickly and imperceptibly.
Alexey Kalinin
"Eat less, make more love" - honestly, I've never said that and never even thought so. In the end, if you overdo it with lovemaking, you need to somehow replenish the lost strength ... And how can you not eat here?
Placido Domingo
The longer you eat a lobster, the more remains on your plate.
Cooking is a matter of time. In general, the more time, the better the result.
John Erskine
If you want to look young and slim, stick close to the old and fat.
Jim Neon
A log is a plump shaft.
Appetite during meals comes to visit an uninvited Tatar.
Gennady Moskvin
When I eat alone, I feel like a punished seminarian.
Pope John XXIII
There are no good diets.
Nadine de Rothschild
The head is responsible for excess weight, and the head does not belong to the digestive organs.
The architect covers his mistakes with ivy, the hostess with mayonnaise.
I eat everything in a row - I'm losing weight: losing weight ...
Igor Denisov
When you think about what we eat, you will be surprised how omnipotent we are.
Ilya Gerchikov
Good appetizer - sauerkraut! And it’s not a shame to file, and they will devour it - it’s not a pity.
A certain Roman, having dined alone, said: "Today I ate, but did not dine."
Plutarch
Since people learned how to cook their food, they have been eating twice as much as nature requires.
Benjamin Franklin
A new diet has been developed - it allows you to eat everything that distracts from thoughts about losing weight.
Mikhail Mamchich
Fat people live less. But they eat more.
It is bad if the wife knows how to cook, but does not want to; even worse if she does not know how, but wants to.
Robert Frost
Some people prefer a chicken in a bowl than a pie in the sky.
Konstantin Kushner
"Fast food" is the food equivalent of pornography.
Why does a person need fat? Fats float in water, so a fat person does not drown.
Losing weight while taking care of your butt is detrimental to your face. But if everything is in order with your face, it goes to the detriment of the ass. I choose a face.
Kathleen Turner
We need to eat and drink so much that our strength is restored by this, and not suppressed.
Mark Tullius Cicero
You have to watch your figure. Do you know what helps me with this? I taped a photo of Elizabeth Taylor to the refrigerator door.
Elizabeth Taylor
I don't like spinach and I consider myself lucky because if I liked it, I would have to eat it, and I hate it.
Quentin Crisp
Chew, don't chew, but swallow.
Sergey Salnikov
When a man cooks, he does not tolerate anyone near him. But if a woman cooks, he now and then climbs into the kitchen.
Lucille Ball
Feet feed one wolf, and wife the other.
The great Russian actress Faina Ranevskaya, a very plump lady, when her skirt burst in the most visible place, said:
- Even the skirt could not withstand the onslaught of beauty.
Then she added:
- There are no fat women - there are only tight clothes!
If a woman wants sweets, then she can always convince herself that this cake is dietary.
Alexey Kalinin
Any diet primarily depletes the nervous system.
Meat-eaters, do not eat all the rabbits, because when there are no guinea pigs ... well, you know.
Stanislav Jerzy Lec
Swiss cheese differs from Camembert in slightly better ventilation.
There is never a little bit of garlic.
A large person.
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I just hate plants.
A. Whitney Brown
The more weight a person has, the more he eats and the less room for his heart ...
Vladimir Borisov
Calories...these are the little buggers that come in at night...and screw up your clothes.
Elena Henemann
A person is above satiety, but only when he is full.
If you cook yourself all porridge and porridge, at least change the pot.
Wieslav Malitsky
Fat girl's dream: eat cake and lose weight.
Personally, when I'm on a diet,
I watch myself with admiration.
Igor Karpov
The consumer basket is now replaced by a dustbin for many.
Konstantin Kushner
In eating food, the ability to eat more than others is a disadvantage, the ability to get enough of less is a virtue.
Harun of Agatsar
Food is an essential part of a balanced diet.
Fran Lebowitz
To think, you have to eat - you can't get anywhere! Yes, but how many different thoughts can be produced by the same piece of bread!
Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
Some people eat lobster for its taste, but most just for exercise.
Don't put off until dinner what you can eat at lunch.
War is war, and lunch is on schedule.
Friedrich Barbarossa
Preparing a good salad and being a skillful diplomat is equally delicate: in both cases, it is important to know exactly how much oil to use and how much vinegar to use.
Oscar Wilde
There are no fat women, but some women are short for their weight.
My wife started seeing a nutritionist and dropped $300 in two months.
Robert Orben
Well, of course I got fat! After birth, I weighed only 3 kilograms!
People are divided into two parts: one, the smaller one, has dinner, but no appetite; the other, the larger one, has a great appetite, but no dinner.
Nicola Chamfort
Zhanna Golonogova
A third of Americans want to lose weight, a third want to gain weight, and a third have not yet weighed themselves.
John Steinbeck
Do not feed with words instead of bread.
Aristophanes
Tell me what you eat and I will tell you who you are.
Anselme Brillat-Savarin
The fast food ends with a slow funeral procession.
Do not dine - a holy law,
Who cares the most about light sleep.
Food, food, cooking... Every day we eat, eat, consume food. But how little we know about food, about what we eat! Let's fill our gap in entertaining knowledge about food and about food, and read interesting and funny aphorisms, sayings of great and famous people about food, about food, laugh at funny and wise phrases and quotes about cooking and culinary dishes. So let's go!
The most famous saying about food: Appetite comes with eating.
Here is another Russian folk saying about food: If there were cabbage soup, there will always be bast shoes!
And here is a cool and interesting aphorism about food and about gourmets from the philosopher James Beard:
If a gourmet constantly counts calories in dishes, then he is likened to Casanova, who does not take his eyes off his watch.
A cool quote from a famous person Stas Yankovsky about food, breakfast, lunch and dinner:
If you have nothing to eat for breakfast, then at lunchtime be sure to pay a courtesy call to a friend - he will share his daily bread, and during dinner visit your enemy - he will voluntarily give it to you.
And a folk saying on the subject:
Eat breakfast yourself, share lunch with a friend, give dinner to an enemy.
The stomach of an enlightened person has the best qualities of a good heart - sensitivity and gratitude.
And also A.S. Pushkin also mentioned drinks in his works: “So let's drink, nanny! Where is the mug?
Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin is a great prankster, and not just a cool aphorist. He also became the author of the following wise aphorism about food and the order of eating:
Do not put off until dinner what you can safely eat at lunch.
Russian folk proverb - folk wisdom:
To eat, it is advisable to get up from the table with a feeling of slight hunger ...
It is healthier for the stomach to undereat than to overeat. /
Folk wisdom says: Eat often, but little by little.
A cool and interesting aphorism, a phrase and a quote about food, dinner, tomorrow and the relationship of a woman and a man from Yana Dzhangirova:
When a man invites a woman to dinner, he hopes in his heart that she will stay with him until breakfast...
And here is more from folk wisdom and from the Orthodox religion:
Gluttony is a sin. Drinking is also a sin.
The English echo folklore: Glutton digs his own grave. With my own teeth...
And here is the folk wisdom about food from some very famous philosopher and sage (I don’t remember who): I eat to live, and I don’t live to eat.
The unique and the coolest, the funniest after Mark Twain, the author and writer of the USA, America, Oscar Wilde joked on the topic of food with the following interesting aphorism, the phrase:
When I have big troubles in my life, I deny myself literally everything: except for delicious food and good drinks.
Vladimir Semenov wrote such a cool aphorism about food and gluttons:
The pig is known for its food.
Aphorisms and quotes about food: Cool and interesting, funny and wise sayings and phrases about food, about food, about cooking, about dishes...
Folk wisdom in the field of love relationships between a woman and a man claims that:
The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
Don't open your mouth at someone else's loaf!
The best cook is a strong hunger.
Hunger is not an aunt, but a dear mother!
Flies separately, cutlets - separately.
War is war, and dinner is on schedule.
When I eat, I am deaf and dumb.
And the sheep are safe, and the wolves are full.
Wise aphorism about food and clothing from Benjamin Franklin - President of the United States:
A person eats for his own pleasure, but dresses - for someone else's fun.
The great diplomat and most famous person of his time in political circles, Joseph Lafayette, wrote that:
The most serious political decisions are usually made in cozy, quiet restaurants...
An interesting and true aphorism from Baurzhan Toyshibekov:
Also, the philosopher and sage Socrates expressed the right thought:
The best seasoning for food is the feeling of hunger.
Cool aphorism, a quote about food from Brillat-Savarin:
Since a person is forever condemned to constantly eat, then you need to eat well!
An interesting statement about food was written by the philosopher Feuerbach:
Man is what he eats.
The unsurpassed philosopher of the ancient world, the wise man Seneca wrote the following about food:
Excess food interferes with the logic of the mind.
Wise aphorism about food from Benjamin Franklin:
If you want to live happily ever after, shorten your lunch time.
The health of the body is forged in the forge of the stomach.
The famous philosopher Schiller wrote a cool aphorism about food, under which the equally famous philosopher Sigmund Freud would have signed with two hands:
Sex and hunger rule the world!
An interesting and cool statement about food from Ostap Bender himself:
You should not make a special cult out of food.
Popular wisdom says that:
There are no bad products in the world, but bad cooks are found all the time...
Here is a selection of aphorisms and quotes about food we have drawn. Really cool and interesting, funny and wise sayings and phrases about food, about food, about cooking, about dishes from wise and famous people, as well as in the form of folk wisdom - proverbs and sayings are always interesting to read ... before eating! Well, and bon appetit to your next dream! As the humorist Mikhail Zadornov would wish!
We have a cook in the canteen Pavel. We have a long-standing strong relationship with him, although he considers himself fundamentally unmarried, but he has been slightly married to me for seven years, because no one on the whole globe knows my taste preferences like Pasha. The level of his cooking is the God of meat products. My friends let me into the dining room first, like a cat, because Pavlik will always offer the most delicious, we have with him, as in a joke - Mom, am I cold? No, Monya, you want to eat! I come up and ask:
- Pash, what do I want today?
He sighs, frowns, examines the assortment:
- Today you want lamb with nuts. I just made it, you'll love it.
And we take lamb. And immediately, after the first spoonful of a friend - go ask for the recipe!
Or:
- Today you, Lena, want the basics, I know that you love him in my performance.
And he always puts a large portion and pours gravy, as I like. And these again - mmmmmm go get the recipe! And I'm going! And Pasha is like: oh! You know what, nuuuuu there is lamb, then lo, I'll tell you later. And mysteriously somehow smiles all the time right into the huge pot.
Today he invented a new dish - cod baked under a nut crust, and says: Lena, you must try!
Well, we took the cod, and these are again according to the scenario - oh! Divine! Go get the recipe!
I flooded: Pash, give me the nut crust recipe! And, as luck would have it, he says again - Well, there are nuts ... There are croutons. I'll show you later. And he buried himself in the pan, and I look - miracles! the muzzle of my ex was reflected in the borscht and I was carried away: why are you lying - it’s endless, but what kind of person are you, and how the earth wears you. In general, she expressed that she was sore and took her soul away, not embarrassed in epithets. I exhaled, I stand all lightened, the light version, it’s good for me like that. And Pasha raised his eyes, slowly licked the ladle, looked affectionately at me and quietly, barely audibly, said: right now I will give you a kaaaak on the forehead with this ladle so that you know how to talk to me.
Just in case, I stepped back two steps, squeezed the fork behind my back tighter and answered: Pash, but I finally didn’t talk to you right now, to be honest. Don't be offended, have you heard how they relieve stress in Japan? They install an effigy of the boss in the office of psychological relief, any fool can come, kick him or spit in his mug, release his negativity, and then he comes out with a happy squint, the boss meets him, and he bows to him - dratuti, Japan your mother - san!
And they are all good! Understood?
- I understand, do you want rice galleries for a side dish?
And you say that it is difficult with men. If everything can be explained to them from a scientific point of view, then they are like people at all. For every god of all gods, there is a ninja who will cut with a katana and put out Fujiyama! Kawabanga!
