Why is it important to know your temperament. How to approach people with different temperaments? Why you need to know your type of temperament

Do you know what type of temperament your colleague has? If you need to prepare a presentation by tomorrow morning, why would a choleric colleague be almost overjoyed, while a melancholic colleague would be terrified? Know your colleagues and your office life will be easier and your success will multiply.

A bit of theory. Temperament refers to the innate features of the human nervous system. People with different types of temperament can react emotionally and behaviorally in completely different ways to the same situation.

Even at the institute, when studying temperaments, G. Eysenck's scheme seemed to me the most obvious. According to his theory, temperaments are located on a coordinate system with two scales:

Introversion - focusing on the inner world and searching for answers within oneself, through communication with oneself. Extremely introverted people prefer a narrow social circle, individual assignments, rather than group work.

Extraversion - focusing on the outside world and looking for answers through communication with other people. Extremely extroverted people prefer a wide range of acquaintances and team assignments.

Stable nervous system: with such a nervous system, a person relatively easily controls his emotions, is not distracted by weak stimuli, and easily comes to his senses after a shock.

Unstable nervous system: with such a nervous system, a person has little control over his emotions, reacts to any stimuli, even insignificant ones, worries for a long time because of any shocks.

Theory, of course, is good, you say. But how do you determine what kind of temperament your colleagues have? In fact, it's easy - just observe how they behave in any situation. True, temperament is especially vividly manifested in an unexpected, stressful situation. We will now analyze this one.

Imagine you are sitting at your computer and watching your colleague walk past you. You think "I wonder what kind of temperament Vasechkin has?" And literally in a second, a situation will arise, thanks to which you will immediately answer your question. Vasechkin carries coffee, and another colleague Vseerundayko emerges from around the corner, burying his face in the phone. He does not notice Vasechkin, bumps into him and coffee spills on your subject. How will Vasechkin react?

Vasechkin-Choleric:

Immediately he blushes with anger, and unable to restrain himself, he will swear “Piiip (this is not a literary word), Vserundayko, where are you rushing? Lost in his phone, Piiip (swears again)! I have a meeting in an hour! " Vsereundayko apologizes. After 10 seconds Vasechkin says, “Okay, okay, it's not the end of the world. We urgently need to come up with something, do not go to a meeting in this shirt! I'll run to the nearest store for a new one, I'll manage it in an hour. I don’t need your money. Business lunch with you! " Runs away, only he was seen. An hour later at a meeting in a new shirt.

Conclusion: if your colleague is choleric, then he is an Extrovert with an unstable nervous system. You saw that he:

Very emotional and quick-tempered

May be aggressive

Quicksilver and outbursts of anger pass quickly

Quickly makes decisions and also quickly takes action

Sociable and open to any contacts

Vasechkin-Phlegmatic

It stands still for several seconds. Then in a voice, even and quiet, like Eeyore's donkey from the cartoon about Winnie the Pooh (the donkey, by the way, is also phlegmatic): "Well, today is probably not my day." Sighs softly. “I'll go to the toilet to scrub the stain. Until it is dry, it is possible to wipe it off. " On Vseerundayko's offer to go to the nearest store for a shirt, he replies “Why? The stain can be wiped off. While we go shopping, I miss an appointment, this is unacceptable. " Leaves in the direction of the toilet at a leisurely pace. Spends the entire hour before the meeting in the toilet, carefully cleaning the stain.

Conclusion: if your colleague is a phlegmatic, then he is an Introvert with a stable nervous system (complete antipode of Choleric). Have you observed that he:

He keeps his emotions to himself, it is difficult to piss him off

Perfectionist, quality comes first

Demanding to himself, responsible

Not flexible in decisions - with great difficulty changes his mind

Works and thinks slowly, but thoroughly

Vasechkin-Sanguine

After the collision, he reacts immediately, “Here are the times! Workplace accident! Vsereundayko, you are breaking the rules of moving around the office! " To apologize Vseerundayko pats him on the shoulder “Come on, who doesn't happen to! Only one small problem - a meeting in an hour, and I am in this form! " Vseerundayko suggests going to the nearest store for a new shirt. Answers without thinking “Oh, great idea! Let's go, let's go! On the way, at the same time, I'll tell you how we played football with the guys yesterday! " Shouts out to a colleague passing by, “Ramochkin, we are going to the store. Come with us, let's chat! " She is late for a meeting, too carried away by fitting and communicating with colleagues.

Conclusion: if your colleague is sanguine, then he is an Extrovert with a stable nervous system. Have you observed that he:

Not prone to strong emotional outbursts

Optimist, with a cheerful disposition, cheerful

Easy to lift - quickly forgets troubles

Sociable, easily converges with people

Carried away, can show unnecessary

Vasechkin-Melancholic

The horror of what had happened on his face: he blushes, his eyes widen, he tries to shake himself off: “Oh no! What am I to do now? Such a stain! The coffee won't rub off! " Vseerundayko replies to his apology: “No, no, it's my own fault. You need to be careful with hot coffee. " Politely declines Vseerundayko's offer to go to the store with him, preferring to go alone. Returns in five minutes, because he forgot to take the wallet.

Conclusion: if your colleague is melancholic, then he is an Introvert with an unstable nervous system (the complete opposite of Sanguine). Have you observed that he:

Very worried about failures and mistakes

Stress is very unsettling, it becomes absent-minded

Has difficulty controlling his emotions

Self-critical, often not sure of himself

Is uncommunicative and often shuns others

By the way, hypersensitive people most often have a melancholic temperament. However, choleric people, phlegmatic people, and mixed types are found among them. I am sure there are no sanguine people among orchid people (for more details about the phenomenon of highly sensitive natures, read on my website).

Let's say you've learned to define the temperament of your colleagues. Now what to do with this knowledge? Of course, actively use them! Knowing who your colleagues are, you can more easily predict their reactions to any situation. This will allow you to more competently build relationships with them and conduct joint activities.

Obviously, you shouldn't bombard Melancholic in the evening with the news that a 50-slide report is needed tomorrow morning. He gets so nervous that it will be of little use to him. But such news can be presented to Choleric. Deep down, he will even be glad - after all, difficult and difficult tasks for him are like a drug. There is something to do with your unrestrained energy!

I remember my former colleague Choleric, who sincerely shared with me: “I just love it when in the processes for which I am responsible, something breaks and goes wrong! It's such a thrill to run around the office, give orders and see the train rushing downhill back onto its tracks again! " In general, Choleric people are very good in situations where you need to urgently extinguish a fire.

By the way, if Melancholic has enough time to write a report, he will do it diligently and with inspiration! Agree, not every person has enough inspiration for long-term work.

And let's say, knowing that your colleague is Phlegmatic, you understand that he is good at working out details and that he is also a true lover! Therefore, it is he who is entrusted to conduct an audit of a process - not a single mistake or abuse will escape his eye.

But if your colleague is Sanguine, it means he feels like a fish in water in team events. Then it will be appropriate to entrust him with brainstorming or team competition for the best plan of the week.

Knowledge is power. The better you know people, the more likely you are to build effective working relationships. Then teamwork will be more fruitful, and you will achieve better joint results!

Have you ever heard how illogical, inadequately emotional from the point of view of the speaker, actions are explained by the phrase “this is such a temperament”? Probably not even once. Have you ever wondered what this category is, to which all the peculiar, sometimes inexplicable manifestations of human behavior are attributed?

There is more than one scientific definition of temperament that considers it as a subject of psychological theoretical research. However, the subject of our conversation lies in the plane of practical, vital significance.

What is temperament?

The role of temperament in the psychological characteristics of a person is very great, since it includes innate, and therefore unchanged, deep mental processes. Knowledge of the types of temperament and their characteristics, as well as the ability to recognize them in people, can give a woman a serious weapon that will allow her to manipulate people to a certain extent, influence their decision-making and, at the right time, become the mistress of the situation.

So, without further ado, let us still give a definition of temperament from an everyday point of view. Temperament should be considered by us as a system of parameters of the human psyche, which manifests itself through the degree of expression of emotions, the strength and speed of body movements, the intensity and verbosity of speech. Surprisingly, however, you don't need lengthy communication with the person and gesture analysis to identify them. The characteristics of a certain temperament inherent in a person are reflected in facial features, general outlines of the body, and a tendency to be overweight.

Types of temperaments and their characteristics

Everyone knows that there are 4 types of human temperament: sanguine, choleric, melancholic and phlegmatic, but hardly anyone can clearly and fully characterize them. Therefore, the following characteristic for determining the type of temperament, obviously, will not be superfluous:

• A sanguine person is more frivolous than serious; he is carefree, not inclined to prolonged monotonous work; speaks a lot and quickly, loves crowded companies,

• Melancholic - takes everything very close to his heart, prone to introspection; speaks a little, is restrained in gestures; tends to show negative rather than positive emotions.

• Choleric is quick-tempered, but quick-witted; ambitious; in a conversation, he will definitely fiddle with your buttons, reinforce your words with energetic gestures.

• A phlegmatic person is a balanced person, tactful by nature, he experiences all emotions within himself; characterized by the constancy of views and affections.

What is the outward manifestation of this or that type of human temperament? Sanguine people, as a rule, are people of medium or even short stature with a massive figure, in men they often have a round tummy, a “potato” nose. Melancholic people are usually fragile and even have some features of aristocracy in their external appearance: a slender figure, thin long fingers. Choleric people are absolutely not inclined to be overweight, often to excessive thinness, with an aquiline nose, a narrow pelvis. Phlegmatic people usually have, as they say, a "well-knit" figure with massiveness rather in the torso than in the pelvis, short legs, and a large nose.

The types of temperaments and their characteristics are knowledge, and on its basis it is necessary to create a guide to action. The manifestation of temperaments forms a number of stereotypes that should be taken into account. Here are some examples:

• do not expect a sanguine person to fulfill his promise - most likely, he will simply throw him out of his head if it creates additional trouble for him;

• if you want to chat "about this, about this" - you will not find a better conversationalist than a sanguine person;

• if you meet a sanguine person, keep in mind that the first impression is extremely significant for him;

• if you decide to express your claims and grievances to the sanguine person, he will be terribly upset, he will definitely ask for forgiveness, but do not hope that he will draw conclusions;

• do not tell the melancholic that "the world is beautiful, despite the shortcomings" and "everything that is done is for the better", he simply will not understand you;

• a melancholic is worth a significant effort to get to start some business, because he is an incorrigible pessimist and sees in everything, first of all, insurmountable difficulties and obstacles;

• if the slightest problem arises, the melancholic will make an “elephant out of a fly”;

• a compliment to a choleric person in time will make him move mountains for you;

• excessive criticism can make the choleric almost lose all interest in life - it is better not to give him advice on how to disguise acne or get rid of dandruff - he will be offended;

• it is not possible to make the choleric person accept your point of view in a dispute, because after a couple of minutes he will already forget what he was arguing with you about;

• be careful: too persistent objections to a choleric person in a conversation can bring him almost to the point;

• do not try to "get" the phlegmatic with wit - emotionally he is "impenetrable";

• if you are looking for a neighbor to live together or a companion for close cooperation, you will not find a better phlegmatic person - these are the most accommodating people;

• in a conversation with a phlegmatic, you can not be afraid of stupid or tactless questions - he will never crawl into your soul;

• the phlegmatic is as if created for painstaking, meticulous work.

Well, let's try to draw conclusions from the above. First conclusion: the role of temperament is important both for the sphere of private life and for the quality and success of professional activity. Second conclusion: belonging to a certain type of temperament is easy to recognize by a rather cursory glance at a person. The third conclusion (following from the second): it is foolish not to take advantage of what, so to speak, lies on the surface.

Not so long ago, a new one appeared in our team, and everything would be fine - a handsome, excellent specialist, a sociable girl. If not for her mood swings. Guys, this is something! She can laugh cheerfully at our next joke, and then for a minute feel sad and say that we all mindlessly live our lives. In general, from plus to minus and vice versa.

Oh gods, we wondered what was happening to man? Our older ladies suspected menopause, but at the age of 27 it is somehow too early for menopause. And then one of the colleagues said that the girl probably just has this type of temperament. And here, I must admit, we thought about it.

No, we have all heard that there are sanguine and melancholic people, but so that the temperament is so clearly manifested? In general, I'll tell you about what we found out about temperament.

What is temperament

Unfortunately, temperament does not depend on a person at all. Yes, you can learn to restrain yourself if you are choleric, you can learn to be lively if you are phlegmatic. But inside you will remain exactly the same as nature created you.

In some cases, this can be compensated for by various actions and drugs, but only a doctor should do this.

How to find out your type of temperament

• melancholy;
• choleric;
• phlegmatic;
• sanguine.

For the most part, the personality type remains in each person throughout his life. But sometimes we are too depressed, biased, or even depressed - in this case, the self-test may not be entirely accurate.

We all passed several tests for temperament, and were pleasantly surprised - our expectations were confirmed, almost the entire team consists of sanguine people (I believe that this is the best type of personality for working in the editorial office), our creative girls are choleric (which, again, is quite natural - the choleric type is more mobile, emotional), and our proofreaders and editors are entirely melancholic and phlegmatic.

What to do knowing your personality type

The entire editorial board analyzed how our psychotypes manifest themselves. One test gives not just your main type of temperament, but your characteristic manifestations. That is, let's say you are sanguine (like me). But in most cases you are a sanguine person, and, for example, in critical situations - a choleric person, under the pressure of circumstances - a melancholic person.

It seems to me that every person needs to determine their personality type - you just understand what to expect from yourself both in everyday life and in some sudden, force majeure situations.

The next thing you can do is see what the test recommends. In general, for each type of personality there is a certain ideal world - for example, a suitable job, exciting hobbies, suitable men, animals, colors ... Anything.

For example, melancholic and phlegmatic people cope better with small and painstaking work, and choleric people organically cannot stand monotonous actions.

Understand correctly, it's one thing if a person breaks into tears, and then it torments him - in such a situation, everyone is a little embarrassed. And it’s a completely different matter if for him it’s just an everyday reaction, and in half an hour he doesn’t even remember why he was so killed.

A new colleague confirmed our guesses, and said that for a long time she has been trying to curb her temperament. That she's been like that all her life - now hysterics, then tears, then fun for no reason, then she can not sit still. That she would not like to embarrass or strain us, but she will be very grateful to us if we are calm about how she lets off steam.

On that we decided - we do not take her mood swings to heart, she tries to control herself.

What other secrets does the personality type carry?

Note to everyone - there is big test, 160 questions, but there is a fairly quick, but also accurate - Eysenck test... If you want your man to determine his type of temperament, then it is better to slip him the test, which is shorter.

In general, here, too, our suspicions were justified - all relationships exactly corresponded to our types. Frankly, we were even surprised, because after spending literally half an hour trying to determine who has what kind of temperament, we received detailed answers to a lot of our questions.

For example, different types of temperament correspond to different chronic diseases. No, it is clear that anyone can get sick, but for example, choleric people are more likely to suffer from strokes.

In the same way, I can say that all my friends have finally determined their personality type, and two people have even gone through full psychological tests - this is very interesting and helps to get to know yourself better.

Do not forget that psychology is not some kind of ephemeral science, but practically a teaching about the souls of people. Perhaps knowing the varieties of personality types will help you approach people and make new acquaintances.

Great article. Competently and easily written. Check your child, and, most importantly, yourself - in childhood and now. I think this will help you understand your strength, allow yourself to be yourself.

Why do you need to know the characteristics of a child's temperament?

According to the dictionary, temperament is a characteristic of an individual in terms of his dynamic characteristics: intensity, speed, pace, rhythm of mental processes and states. I will add - an innate characteristic. That is, the temperament does not need to try to alter, it is determined by the "structure" of our nervous system and, as a rule, does not change throughout life. Temperament is not good, not bad, it is advisable to just know it in order to use its strengths and take into account its weaknesses.

There are different theories of temperament, but one has won the most popularity - according to which there are only four types of temperament (the first about them was the "father" of medicine Hippocrates): sanguine, choleric, phlegmatic and melancholic.

Teachers say:

Sanguine people among us are the soul of the collective.

Choleric people are the driving force.

Phlegmatic people are our conscience.

Melancholic people are the brain center.

Here is what he writes about the temperaments of V.N. Kostyaev (http://adalin.mospsy.ru/l_03_00/l0301102.shtml).

How angry we sometimes get at these kopush who are ready to tie their shoes for an hour, pondering the incomprehensible nature of the relationship between lace and holes for ties! How many times have we grabbed the sleeve of our son, who rushed to the door, did not listen to even half of what we so wanted to say to him! And tears over mere trifles! And the impenetrable silence for all our tantrums?

The difference in temperaments between parents and children can lead to deep conflicts if you do not realize in time what the problem is. It will be much easier for you to understand your child, direct, calculate his load, interest, develop his best qualities, forgive, in the end, if you determine which type he is closest to.

What is temperament? It defines character, but is rare in its pure form. Usually, the character of a person is dominated by signs of one of the types of temperament, they are combined with the manifestations of others and create their own, individual style of behavior, determine the reaction to the surrounding reality.

Watch your children. Read the following carefully and determine which traits you and your child have the most. Do all this without fail, because temperament determines the behavior of your child in a team, as well as how he learns and plays, experiences and rejoices.

Just remember that you should not blame bad manners, rudeness, irresponsibility and other shortcomings of education on temperament. Temperament characterizes only innate character traits: emotionality, sensitivity, activity, energy. Hobbies, views, good breeding and social orientation of a person do not depend on him. The type of temperament determines the demeanor and way of actions of a person in the environment.

Detailed characteristics of types of temperament

Choleric

General characteristics:

Hot-tempered, self-confident and impetuous, he makes decisions instantly, so his ideas are often not thought out, but very interesting. The choleric person is very mobile, cannot stand long waiting, and is subject to sudden mood swings. It is difficult to predict how he will behave in a new environment - the reaction can be very different. A choleric child is a terrible fidget and arguer. He is decisive, persistent and fearless, he can change his mind at the last minute, exactly the opposite, he loves risk, adventure. A kind of Mr. Fix - you do not know what to expect from him in the next minute, and he himself does not know this due to his impulsiveness.

Everyday problems:

• often he is so carried away by his next idea that he simply does not hear your instructions;
• rushes to carry out tasks, not listening to the end, doing everything quickly, but carelessly, not noticing inaccuracies and mistakes;
• hardly compromises, sometimes hot-tempered and aggressive beyond measure;
• excessive independence, love of risk and a tendency to rash actions can lead to unpleasant adventures;
• the choleric person is very sociable, but he can easily quarrel with the whole team at once and with each separately. In elementary school, when the authority of adults is strong, a choleric person who constantly receives comments from teachers can easily become an outcast in the children's collective;
• communication problems in adolescence often lead to hysterical reactions, threats of suicide. Fortunately, these threats are rarely executed.

Parents' mistakes:

Strict control, limitation of activity, angry demands to take care of oneself lead only to nervousness and loss of contact with the child.

Activities and hobbies. The main thing is to turn this frantic energy in the right direction. Choleric people are especially recommended to engage in mobile sports - this will give an outlet to the desire for leadership, training will teach you to control your movements, calculate strength. A choleric person needs a lot of living space, more often be with him in nature and do not forget that, left to himself, a fearless choleric person can easily get into an unpleasant adventure. Better to explore unfamiliar places with him.

To compensate for excessive haste and inattention, help him realize that quality is often much more important than speed. Your motto is less is better! To strengthen the inhibitory processes, engage with him in design, drawing, manual labor, needlework. Remember that you will have to constantly make sure that he checks his work and completes it to the end. Try not to get annoyed if he is distracted, and strongly encourage any kind of diligence and patience. Teach him to say first out loud, then silently the stages of work and follow his plan.

Communication. It is especially important to teach him how to build relationships in a team - you can't be with him all the time. Encourage the child to analyze his behavior, sort out conflict situations with him, discuss books and films, pronounce options for correct behavior.

Self-control will be helped by an elementary counting to oneself, and breathing exercises. Show him a way to release the accumulated emotions - let him pound a sports bag, throw a pillow into the corner: anything is better than taking out anger in public.

His desire to be the first can also be used for peaceful purposes. Give him the role of explanatory, teacher, and you will have a good chance, playing on the leader's vanity, to teach him to be more patient and considerate. Just don't let it go by itself - constantly emphasize that an adult, experienced person knows how to control his emotions and take into account the interests of other people.

A choleric child loves to read about heroic deeds and adventures - admire the endurance, patience and foresight of his favorite characters, buy books where heroes win precisely due to their willpower and ability to get along with the people around them.

In no case do not shame him in front of everyone, do not put "Vasya the good boy" as an example, this will only cause anger.

Did you recognize your child in this description? Then be patient and try to understand that the choleric person himself would be glad to learn how to control himself - help him.

Famous choleric people: A. V. Suvorov, Peter I, A. S. Pushkin.

Sanguine

General characteristics:

A lively, cheerful, strong and balanced person. In childhood, this is a child - "the sun" - usually in a good mood, inquisitive, active, knows how to control his emotions. Growing up, he gives the impression of a decisive, optimistic, self-confident person. Easily converges with people, adapts to a new environment, in difficult situations does not lose his sense of humor, remaining collected and businesslike.

Sanguine people are empaths, that is, they easily understand other people, are not particularly demanding of others and tend to accept people as they are. They do not fight for power, but they often occupy a leading position in the company. Sanguine children to the question: "Who are you friends with?" - usually answer: "With everyone."

But sanguine people often do not complete the business they have begun, if they get bored with it. Uninteresting work makes them bored, and they try to get rid of it as soon as possible.

Everyday problems:

• if you entrusted him with a boring and monotonous job, he will easily "forget" about it and do something more interesting;
• if, nevertheless, he takes up your assignment, he will quit the case as soon as he is offered something even more attractive;
• not all of his many friends will correspond to your usual circle of people.

Parents' mistakes:

A sanguine person communicates easily, is cheerful and quickly grasps educational material, and parents often do not pay attention to the fact that the child is superficial, cease to control him and look closely at his inner world. A teenager’s habitual, friendly and cheerful tone can hide his inner feelings and problems from those close to him. Carelessness in studies, inability to bring things to the end, inattention to trifles greatly affect academic performance, and in the future - and success in work.

Activities and hobbies. Sanguine people also need an active lifestyle, but in sports they will not strive very much for a result. They are interested in the process itself, find him a good friendly coach and do not try to make him a professional athlete against his wishes.

Parents should focus on the ability to focus on the work being done and bring it to the end. Constructors, jigsaw puzzles, handicrafts, model building and other games that require attention and thoroughness will help to develop composure and accuracy. You can be demanding with sanguine people and, of course, you should not go too far. You may well ask him to redo the work and evaluate the result yourself.

You should not support a sanguine person in his desire to change activities frequently. Help him learn more about the subject he is pursuing. Usually, it is important for such children to help step over the threshold of the next difficulties, and they will get down to work with renewed vigor. If this is not done, the child will continue to give up another hobby as soon as it requires unusual efforts from him.

It is very important to encourage the perseverance of such children, diligence and dedication and gradually raise the bar of requirements, achieving sustainability and effectiveness.

Do not let him skip classes too often, if he attends a circle, make sure that he does not forget about the "little things" in work, tell him how sloppy and unreliable his product looks if it is made without observing "unnecessary", in the opinion child, rules, patiently teach him to draw up homework or drawing. And, of course, praise him, rejoice at his success, be surprised at the results and tell how interesting it will be later, when he is even more advanced in his studies.

Communication. Talk with your child about his relationships with peers and loved ones, encourage him to think about what in his behavior can offend or delight others. Try to get him interested in doing theater classes.

Is your child just that "sun"? Then forgive him for inconstancy - this is not a vice, but a feature of temperament. Help him correct his personality and he will grow up to be reliable, stress-resistant, outgoing, and successful.

Famous sanguine people: M. Yu. Lermontov, Winnie the Pooh, V. A. Mozart.

Phlegmatic person

General characteristics:

Slow, diligent and outwardly calm child. He is consistent and detailed in his studies. At preschool age, he plays with several favorite toys, does not like running around and noise, but he likes to eat and sleep, and is picky about food. He cannot be called a dreamer and an inventor. Usually from childhood, she neatly folds toys and clothes. It is the phlegmatic kid who is able to carefully and conscientiously tear off pieces of wallpaper in the living room for hours, without interfering with adults doing their own thing. But he is able to make a scandal if he was not given his cup or spoon, and in general he is unhappy if something violates the usual daily routine.

When playing with children, he prefers familiar and quiet entertainment. He remembers the rules of the game for a long time, but then rarely makes mistakes. Does not strive for leadership, does not like to make decisions, easily giving this right to others. Rarely takes offense, but if he quarrels, he can permanently break off relations with the offender.

He may well grow up to be a very adventurous person. A phlegmatic person can work smoothly and productively even in unfavorable conditions, and failures do not infuriate him.

The phlegmatic seeks to create an orderly system of organizing his entire life and relationships with people around him and the world. The desire to observe tradition, thrift and calculation, strategy and laconic phlegmatic often lead to success. But hesitation and long reflections where a quick and clear reaction is needed, often reduce his achievements to zero.

Everyday problems:

• while he is washing, having breakfast and neatly tying a scarf, the bell for the lesson will ring long ago;
• if he nevertheless makes it to the beginning, the bell for recess will ring before he writes it beautifully in his notebook "Cool Work";
• try to replace your usual breakfast with something new without agreement, and you run the risk of running into a big scandal;
• a little phlegmatic person is able to make you read the same bedtime story for a week, without allowing you to change a single word in it;
• a cunning sloth can deliberately move even more slowly so that the parent, tormented by anticipation, loses his temper and quickly does everything himself;
• when inviting your son or daughter to choose a new pen for school, get ready for the fact that he will revise the entire range, and still you will make the choice for him.

Parents' mistakes:

• do not try to speed up the process of gathering or completing the assignment with screams and scandals. It's much easier to just start early;
• do not try hard to impose an occupation that is useful from your point of view if he resists;
• do not be sarcastic, do not call him a lazy person, a mattress and other "affectionate" nicknames;
• be patient and do not rush to do everything for him. Otherwise, he will stop doing anything himself.

Important! If you are constantly irritated and punished for being slow and insecure, your child may develop a fear of action and develop feelings of inadequacy.

Activities and hobbies. Do not be afraid to trust the child, he is responsible and thorough enough to carry out the assigned task. A well-known folk saying should become your motto - you drive quieter, you will continue. True, from time to time, shake the excessively slow phlegmatic so that he does not finally fall asleep. Tell him interesting news from the world around him, develop creative thinking with drawing, music, chess. He may be interested in sports that do not require quick reactions.

Communication. It is imperative to teach him to understand the feelings and emotions of others. Analyze with him the motives of the actions of his peers, relatives or favorite characters. When discussing, try to make him speak more, not you, help him form his opinion and protect him, otherwise he will behave stereotypically, adjusting to the behavior of others and borrowing their point of view.

On the other hand, if the phlegmatic person is not shown in time that there are people with different views on life, he will strive to ensure that those around him methodically observe all the rules that he himself has set for himself. A stubborn bore is who you run the risk of raising if you don't teach him to be tolerant. Such a "white crow" may not be upset if most of his peers do not communicate with him. Those who do not want to live like him, the phlegmatic will calmly rank as "wrong" people, and will not worry about lack of attention to their person. Therefore, other people often have more problems with a phlegmatic person than a phlegmatic person with them. Help him learn to understand and accept views other than his own.

Famous phlegmatic people: M. I. Kutuzov, I. A. Krylov.

Melancholic

General characteristics:

Melancholic children especially need the support and approval of loved ones. They are very sensitive, touchy, alert to everything new. The melancholic is unsure of himself, it is difficult for him to make a choice on his own.

Melancholic people get lost in unfamiliar surroundings and are completely unable to fend for themselves. The slightest nuisance can throw them off balance. They speak quietly, rarely argue, more often obey the opinion of stronger people. People with this type of temperament quickly get tired, get lost, if they encounter difficulties, quickly give up.

All of the above does not mean that melancholic people are unfortunate losers. Many of them are strong in literature, art, in professions that require a lot of attention, mental subtlety.

The inner world of the melancholic is incredibly rich, he is characterized by the depth and stability of feelings. He is prone to introspection and is constantly insecure. In childhood, he behaves like a "little adult" - he is very reasonable, loves to find an explanation for everything, loves solitude. In bed he dreams and ponders for a long time.

Often gives the impression of a closed person, usually among his relatives he chooses one with whom he is completely frank; soft and kind, shares his experiences with him. For others, he leaves the phrase: "I'm fine." Revealing his secrets can be a big trauma and make you even more withdrawn into yourself.

People close to this type have a quiet speech, in conversation they adapt to the interlocutor; strive to arouse the sympathy of others.

Melancholic people place high demands on themselves and those around them and tolerate loneliness quite easily.

Everyday problems:

• making a completely innocent remark, you get a flood of tears and a desperate: "I never succeed, I'm not good for anything";
• in the children's summer camp, for the first three weeks, this sensitive creature yearns and looks with distrust at the world around him. When the world finally seems quite acceptable and some nice acquaintances are found, the shift will end;
• having sent your child to do homework, you find him above an untouched task in sorrowful thoughts on the topic: "Anyway, nothing will come of it";
• you regularly receive a portion of complaints about rude and ill-mannered boys, sarcastic girls and boring teachers.

Parents' mistakes:

Calmed down by the quiet look of the withdrawn melancholic, adults often do not notice his worries and problems.

Important! Constantly reproaching him for laziness, passivity and inability, educators only further aggravate his self-doubt and develop an inferiority complex.

Activities and hobbies. The melancholic is hardly involved in collective games, but, having managed to overcome himself, he enjoys having fun with everyone. Help him get involved in the game, teach him to get acquainted, rehearse the first phrases with which he approaches unfamiliar peers. Reassure him that failure doesn't make him worse than others. Your motto in dealing with a melancholic is "People tend to be wrong."

For a melancholic, it is important to constantly receive the support of loved ones. Praise, praise and praise again, look for positive moments even in failures. For example, if something did not work out, praise him for the fact that he even decided to do this business. Switch his attention to the result of the activity, and not to the assessment. Ask to demonstrate his achievements to you, admire and rejoice for him. Emphasize that you are confident in his abilities and know that he can handle the task. Tell him about it, remind him of past successes.

Teach him to perceive the mistake as a clue to future success, calmly analyze without negative assessments what the failure was, and discuss how to proceed next time. Entrust him with things that he will surely cope with and the result of which can be appreciated by as many people as possible. If he draws, make a funny wall newspaper with him for a school holiday, plays - learn a popular song with him; ask the teacher to read his best essay in front of the class if he writes well ... This will help him gain the confidence to tackle more difficult problems.

Communication. Such children most often feel like a "black sheep" in a team and suffer from this, despite the fact that they do not feel a great need for communication. It is difficult for an insecure melancholic to enter a new class, to participate in common affairs and entertainment. Try to become for him the very close person he can confide in. Do not divulge his secrets, do not criticize too much. Philosophize with him, discuss the situations that you observed, demonstrate that you are very interested in listening to his stories about yourself, his thoughts about the world around him. Teach him to find a way out of conflict situations, to defend his opinion, but in no case put pressure on him.

If a melancholic feels comfortable in a team, he can play the role of a think tank, a kind of gray cardinal, and be respected for his invention and ingenuity.

Famous melancholic people: P. I. Tchaikovsky, N. V. Gogol.

Try to determine what kind of temperament your child predominates. Remember that "pure" temperaments are extremely rare. Most often, each of us is dominated by a "mixture" of traits of two or three temperaments. (The test was prepared by the educational psychologist Olga Anisimovich, especially for the children's portal "Solnyshko".)

TEST

"What type of temperament does your child have?"

Choose the answers that best suit your child. The result will be more reliable if not only mom answers the questions, but also dad, grandmother, grandfather; then compare all the answers and draw the appropriate conclusions.

1. What character traits prevail in the child?

a) Cheerfulness, optimism, compromise, sociability, inclination to take risks.

b) Calmness, slowness, thoroughness, restraint, peacefulness.

c) Vigor, restlessness, playfulness, fervor, cockiness.

d) Shyness, shyness, touchiness, impressionability, indecision.

2. What emotions are the most frequent and strong?

a) Positive emotions.

b) There are no violent reactions, tends to positive emotions.

c) Stormy emotions, anger.

d) Shyness, fear.

3. Reaction to punishment:

a) calm;

b) without emotion;

c) to verbal - calm, to the rest - with violent protest reactions;

d) resentment, negative emotions.

4. How does the child behave in unforeseen situations?

a) Curious (positive attitude prevails).

b) Low-emotional.

c) Tries to resist (need to overcome).

d) Tries to avoid this event (need for self-preservation).

5. What games does the child prefer?

a) Any, but so that life in them was in full swing.

b) Calm, quiet, secluded.

c) Noisy, gambling, mobile, often aggressive.

d) Quiet, secluded; noisy, mobile - only with loved ones.

6. Is your child sociable?

a) Loves the company of children and adults, quickly gets to know each other.

b) Prefers loneliness.

c) Companions and spectators are always needed.

d) Prefers loneliness, sociable only with close people.

7. What is a child among peers, is he inclined to leadership?

a) The soul of the company, the leader of the choice of children.

c) Peers treat differently, he proposes himself to be a leader.

8. How does one learn new things?

a) Easy and fast.

b) Comprehensively, but slowly.

c) He grasps everything on the fly and forgets just as quickly.

d) Mastering quickly or slowly depending on the circumstances.

9. Features of memory. How quickly does a child remember a story? Does it capture the whole or the details? How long does he remember?

a) Easily and quickly grasps the whole and remembers for a long time (good short-term and long-term memory).

b) Slowly, but remembers the whole, almost does not forget (good long-term memory).

c) Very quickly, remembers mostly details, but quickly and forgets (only short-term memory is well developed).

d) In different ways, he delves into little things (high distractibility interferes with short-term memory, and self-doubt - long-term).

10. Fatigue after any activity:

a) average (gets tired according to the activity);

b) low (practically does not get tired);

c) medium, sometimes high (depending on the surge of their emotions);

d) high (gets tired of the slightest activity).

11. Does the child learn age-related skills easily?

a) Easy and effortless.

b) With difficulty (skills are formed for a long time, but also for a long time).

c) According to age (does only what is interesting).

d) Fast, but unstable (may regress under stress).

12. What movements are predominant in the child?

a) Confident, accurate, rhythmic.

b) Slow, unhurried, solid.

c) Impulsive, sharp.

d) Insecure, imprecise, fussy.

13. Features of speech.

a) Expressive, lively speech, with facial expressions and gestures.

b) Speech is slow, expressionless, without gestures.

c) Speech is fast, abrupt, emotional, often breaks into a cry. Chatters, swallowing syllables and words.

d) Speech is expressive, but quiet and uncertain.

14. Features of sleep.

a) Usually falls asleep quickly, sleeps well, wakes up smiling.

b) Falls asleep immediately, sleeps well, after sleep walks sluggish, sleepy.

c) Falls asleep for a long time and with difficulty, sleeps restlessly, wakes up in a different mood: from the best to the worst.

d) He goes to bed for a long time, but quickly falls asleep, wakes up cheerful.

15. How did the child get used to kindergarten, school?

a) Adapted easily, quickly.

b) I was afraid of something new, did not want to change, adapted for a long time.

c) Easily got used to the new environment, with difficulty fulfilled the requirements of adults.

d) I could not get used to it, I had difficulty adapting.

Result:

a), then the child is dominated by a strong, balanced, mobile type - sanguine.

If options are more common b), then the child has a strong, balanced, inert temperament phlegmatic.

If options are more common v), then the child has a strong, unbalanced, inert character - choleric.

If options are more common G) then temperament prevails melancholic.

Remembering your childhood, you can choose the answers that are right for you, then it will be possible to compare the temperament of the child and your own and draw conclusions. Perhaps with your strong temperament you are "crushing" the weaker temperament of the child. Don't "improve" or "decorate" your child's temperament! For this he will pay with illness, and you - problems in the upbringing and development of the child.

Original article: http://demo.sinergi-school.ru/cms/index.php/specialist/pstchologist/29560-2009-03-03-00-52-32

Temperaments and their characteristics

Phlegmatic person unhurried, unperturbed, has stable aspirations and mood, outwardly stingy with the expression of emotions and feelings. He shows tenacity and perseverance in his work, remaining calm and level-headed. In work, he is productive, compensating for his slowness with diligence.

Choleric - fast, passionate, impetuous, but completely unbalanced, with a dramatically changing mood with emotional outbursts, quickly exhausted. He does not have a balance of nervous processes, this sharply distinguishes him from a sanguine person. The choleric, being carried away, carelessly wastes his strength and is quickly depleted.

Sanguine - a lively, hot, agile person, with frequent changes in mood, impressions, with a quick reaction to all events happening around him, quite easily reconciled with his failures and troubles. Usually sanguine people have expressive facial expressions. He is very productive at work, when he is interested, becoming very excited about this, if the work is not interesting, he is indifferent to it, he becomes bored.

Melancholic - a person is easily vulnerable, prone to constant experience of various events, he reacts little to external factors. He cannot restrain his asthenic experiences with an effort of will, he is too impressionable, easily emotionally vulnerable.

Every temperament can be found both positive and negative properties... Good upbringing, control and self-control makes it possible to manifest: a melancholic, as an impressionable person with deep feelings and emotions; a phlegmatic person, as a seasoned person, without hasty decisions: a sanguine person, as a highly responsive person for any work: a choleric person, as a passionate, frantic and active person in work.

Negative properties of temperament can be manifested as follows: in a melancholic - isolation and shyness; in a phlegmatic person - indifference to people, dryness; for a sanguine person - superficiality, scattering. impermanence; the choleric person has a haste of decisions.

As already noted, there are four main types of temperament: sanguine, choleric, phlegmatic, melancholic (Fig. 1, Table 1).

Preschooler temperament. How to determine?

There are four types of temperament: choleric, phlegmatic, sanguine and melancholic. We will not only give a description of each type of temperament, but we will give tips and advice for parents on the development of children of different types of temperament.

Why define temperament?

If we want to properly develop (especially develop thinking and thought processes) and educate our child, we must know the type of his temperament. So a sanguine person and a phlegmatic person require a completely different approach to themselves. Each temperament has its own strengths and weaknesses. Some children act actively and impulsively, while others look more passive only because from childhood they tend to think first, and then move on to action.

Temperament determines individual differences in the intensity of emotions, motor

It is believed that it is impossible to remake the temperament. However, very rare people are 100% of any one type of temperament. As a rule, our temperament is a mixture of characteristics of two temperaments, or even three.

During life, the balance of the components of our temperament can change, as it were, by itself, under the influence of life events, trial and error. Since the strength and speed of our reactions to life events, the degree of emotional and nervous excitability depend on temperament, it is very good if in early childhood we are able to recognize the temperament of our child and help the baby to “tame” it.