How to kill fear in yourself and become cold-blooded. How not to lose your strengths in the pursuit of composure

The title of this chapter is the most important golden rule you need to understand first. Many people lack the awareness that they are, in fact, completely normal, and their reaction is quite natural.

In an attempt to become a cold-blooded person, you may lose your strengths. Why do you want to become calmer, cool towards people? You are tired of worrying, but the spent nerves indicate that a certain person is dear to you and you are worried about your future.

For example, you often express your displeasure to your husband, but doesn’t this mean that you are showing yourself at this moment as a caring woman? Do not experiences at work show your responsible attitude and professional approach to business?

Being cold-blooded to everything, you can lose all interest in life. Will it become completely different, devoid of benefits, advantages, brightness? Think about it, sometimes reconciling and accepting yourself as you are is the best solution available.

Next time, at the peak of your emotions, think about whether they are normal and what your positive qualities indicate. If you want to become a little calmer, I can offer some useful tips from psychology.

Don't share

The next time you encounter a difficulty that makes you feel strong emotions, try to exhale first and approach it rationally. Do not rush to retell it to your loved one or loved ones. Don't call friends. The interlocutor will only inflame you, you will be more nervous and worried.

You need to instill in yourself a rule - to solve the problem where it arose, and not to talk about it. Give yourself some time to cool down and then see what you can do to resolve the situation. Of course, you can ask for help or advice from loved ones, but do not shift the decision to them.

Forbid yourself to discuss the incident, what will you do in this case?

1. Try not to be dramatic

Never make a big deal out of problems. Calm down, pull yourself together and soberly assess the situation. Follow the course of your thoughts. Don't let them take you in the wrong direction. Think that what happened is not at all scary, that you can solve the problem, easily get out of this situation. Get in a positive mood. This will make it much easier for you. Don't panic by any means.

2. Think before sharing a problem

So, you want to understand how to develop composure. First, break down your problem. Think it over on your own, weigh all the pros and cons. Determine exactly which way of solving the problem you consider the most successful. Do not rush to report the current situation to everyone around you.

Think it over for yourself first! Immediately telling all your friends, you will give them not quite correct, exaggerated information. We can say that you misinform them and, naturally, their view of the situation will not be objective. Calm down, think for yourself and only then, if necessary, share with others.

3. Discover visualization as a way to stay calm

Each of us can learn to solve our problems without panicking. To do this, you need to understand how to develop composure. In turn, for this you need to learn to imagine the most difficult life situations as a tangled knot that can always be untangled. The more nervous you are, the tighter the knot will tighten. And as soon as you relax, there will be a great chance to unravel it, which means that you can calmly solve your problem.

4. Realize that you can control your emotions

Learn to control your emotions. No need to panic, scream, throw tantrums. Learn to calm down and pull yourself together. No need to swing your arms and run from corners. Just try to relax and breathe calmly. You will succeed if you try.

5. Create a calm environment

Try to get rid of all the irritants around you. Everyone has their own. It can be noise or, conversely, silence, people around, even the closest ones, conversations around and much more. If necessary, stay with yourself, think carefully, focus and try to find a solution to the problem.

In what specific ways does self-control help in everyday life?

• The developed quality of self-discipline allows you to notice manifestations of self-destructive, dependent or obsessive behavior in time;
• Gives a sense of power over your life, brings balance and harmony;
• Helps keep overly emotional reactions normal;
• Develops emotional and mental independence from surrounding people and circumstances, which significantly affects the subjective feeling of peace and tranquility;
• Helps overcome feelings of helplessness;
• Self-control allows you to gain self-confidence, high self-esteem, inner strength;
• Makes a person responsible and trustworthy.

Obstacles to developing self-discipline:

• Lack of knowledge, understanding of what self-control really is;
• Strong and uncontrollable emotional reactions;
• The speed and immediacy of these reactions to stimuli of the outside world, thoughtlessness of actions;
• Weak desire to change, to become better;
• Insufficiently developed willpower;
• A subjective view of the development of self-control as an unpleasant and boring activity; the conviction that in the life of a disciplined person there is no place for entertainment;
• Lack of faith in yourself and your abilities.

How to develop self-control? Brief algorithm of actions

So, what is the general algorithm that allows you to gain control over yourself and develop the much-needed willpower?

• First, you need to identify those areas of life where you lack this quality. For example, it can be shopping, overeating, smoking, workaholism, drinking, obsessions.
• Next, you need to identify those emotions in relation to which the application of self-discipline is required. Perhaps it is anger, regret, resentment or indignation, fear.
• The next step is to identify the thoughts and beliefs that drive uncontrollable behavior.
• Several times a day, especially at those moments when the need for self-control is greatest, it is necessary to repeat various affirmations. These can be such phrases:

• Next, you need to visualize your own behavior within the framework of self-control and self-restraint. It is necessary to consider a life situation in which you lack discipline, and imagine that you are reacting calmly.
• The most important step is doing exercises to develop willpower.

Ability to control oneself control emotions helps in many life situations. Putting a good face on a bad game is a skill that needs to be learned. In order not to give out your emotions when it is not necessary, so as not to get into trouble. And, in the end, to save your health.

Daily stress

Life is not easy and never will be. Even if you are lucky, if you have a job you love, a strong family, prosperity and a roof over your head, many small worries prevent you from being happy forever. Lessons with children, tense communication with partners or colleagues, traffic jams - all this undermines your strength in the evening, emotions rush out. And in your hearts you can tell your loved ones something that you will later regret for a long time. Although this is nothing more than the effect of stress.
In the heat of the moment, you can make a decision, which then will turn into unpleasant consequences. You can quit, file for divorce, file a police report, just succumbed to negativity. You can apply too much pressure on the gas, which will lead to an accident.
Or it may happen that numerous spectators will become witnesses of your intemperance, a strange trick. This will seriously damage your business reputation. Or even worse - it will be on public display on the Internet. A good name will then need to be returned for a very long time.
However, all this can be avoided by mastering science.

What is the reason?

Why do everyday petty annoyances piss you off so much? And where to find the strength to become cooler? How to reduce the impact of stress and learn to control emotions?
Look inside yourself. Peace dwells in the depths of your soul. Just think about the fact that this is just a daily routine. There are things that are truly important that she should not influence. This is your calm conscience, loved ones who love you, your health. Priceless treasures that we have forgotten how to appreciate in everyday running around under the pressure of stress and worries.
We do not know how to control emotions because we forget about the really important and succumb to the moment.

How to cope?

Think about the most important moments you remember. The smell of the sea, mom's hugs, notes passed to friends in class, movies that shocked you. Do all these red traffic lights, swearing saleswomen, inconsistent figures in the reports remain in the memory? No and no again. You will forget about what makes you so angry in two days. And a notch in the heart from their negative emotions will remain. Each bout of anger takes away a piece of your life. And she's short. Only yesterday you were 15, and you looked intently into the eyes of the girl you liked - and now you are 28. You have an education, a stern boss, two wonderful kids. How did everything happen so quickly? Hard to understand. In the same way, in 20 years you will think where your youth has gone while you were wasting your energy on experiences. Seize the moment, live now. Don't forget about the inner light that burns inside thanks to the people who love you. And everything else is just vanity.
When it becomes unbearable, when you want to break loose on loved ones, remember that “this too shall pass,” as Solomon said. It's just the effect of stress.

Useful Tools

Remembering the inner treasures and drawing peace from them is, of course, the main thing. But there are also auxiliary tools. Exercise, for example, helps relieve stress and control emotions. Martial arts allow you to pour out all the negativity during the fight, swimming pacifies, and yoga completely brings you back to life.
It is also useful to master at least the basics of meditation - a technique that allows you to move away from the stream of thoughts and look inside yourself.
Perfectly relieves stress good sex. Unless, of course, the process of finding a partner causes even more stress than the one you are trying to get rid of.
In addition, shopping is recommended as stress therapy. However, here it is important not to fall into dependence on the acquisition process, not to make things a cult. Otherwise, it threatens with even greater worries, the pursuit of a dream, which in fact is not worth a damn. Think of shopping just as a way to please yourself, then it will help you control emotions and get rid of negativity.

secret laughter

If someone makes you angry, count to ten before you say what you think about him. And then again until ten. Then coldly reply that you need to think about the situation. And leave. In order not to break firewood under the influence of stress. Tomorrow everything will seem much easier.
If there is no way to get away from an unpleasant situation, turn on your imagination. Imagine, for example, that your interlocutor is SpongeBob. And it takes place at the bottom of the ocean. Or figure out which of the characters in this cartoon is similar to the person annoying you. Maybe he's stupidly positive, like SpongeBob? Or is he always grumbling like Squidward? Or does he have raking paws, like Mr. Krabs? Or a huge nose, like a whale girl? Any other funny cartoon will do. This will make you smile. The negative will recede. Multitherapy is a great medicine for managing emotions.
Another piece of advice is to be extremely polite. It is noticed that in the event of a conflict, it incredibly irritates the enemy. He expects insults from you, and you tell him: “Dear sir, do not worry. Your opinion doesn't matter to me at all. Goodbye. And sound dreams to you. The opponent will be furious, and you will get satisfaction by maintaining the desired composure. Trust me it works.

People with a cold heart are those who cannot be reached emotionally. They are not affectionate and do not exude warmth. In this article, we will give you some tips on how to recognize a person with a cold heart.

" ... people with a cold heart, I call people closed, depressed and far from deep feelings and experiences. From those who are abstracted even from themselves, one should not expect reciprocity - they will not be able to give you what they are not able to survive on their own" , says psychologist and author Leon F. Seltzer.

cold blooded man

Attachment to a cold-blooded person can bring pain and suffering to someone who is not ready for emotional distance. People with a cold heart have special habits that help determine whether you really have someone to whom you should not become attached.

They don't ask anything about you

Most often, indifferent people do not show interest in the interlocutor, and do not hide it. Regardless of whether you are in a platonic relationship with such a person, or romantic, they will not be interested in how your day went and how you feel.

If such a person is still trying to get some information from you, this means that he needs it purely for personal purposes.

They are far away

These people may be far away from you not only physically but also emotionally. Often, when talking with such a person, one gets the impression that in his thoughts he is very far away, although in fact he is standing in front of you.

They are very reserved in expressing their emotions. Cold-blooded people rarely reveal secrets and allow themselves to show their vulnerabilities. They just prefer to keep their distance.

They are great at manipulating people.

Cold-hearted people love to manipulate. The thing is that they are very weak, and often do not feel any pity or compassion towards others.

They can learn useful information about their "victims" and then use it against them. If you notice that there is a cold-blooded person in your environment, you should know that he definitely has a couple of skeletons in his closet and a list of those who were not lucky enough to catch his eye.

They arewatchingon theof peoplecondescendingly

"Cold-blooded people have a constant need to talk about themselves as flatteringly as possible and often remind others of their excellent qualities that deserve envy," says Professor Preston Nee.

One should constantly monitor how they treat people they consider " below themselves. For example, service workers or the homeless. People with a cold heart have too little empathy to treat them as people worthy of respect.

Something is always missing

It is difficult to find a common language with people with a cold heart. When they are around or interacting with you, there can be an awkward feeling that something is missing in your relationship.

Whether your relationship is platonic, romantic, or even familial, you will have many difficulties with such people because they have no attachments. The most commonly missing link is the emotional connection.

They are self-centered

Me, me, me People with a cold heart are almost always selfish and focused only on what concerns them in one way or another.

“Subconsciously, such people consider others only as an addition to themselves and as helpers to meet their needs. Their own needs are always above everything else…,” says Dr. Zeltser.

They are incredibly egocentric. If something turned out better for you than for them, they will still claim that in fact it is not so.

They don't have close friends

"For emotionally unavailable people, relationships and socializing are just a way to keep themselves busy until something more interesting comes into their lives," says author and relationship expert Sarah R. Kline.

They often speak very unflatteringly about their former partners. In their past, you can find a number of unsuccessful relationships. It seems that they are simply not able to get along with one person for a long time.

Cold-blooded people are also quite distant emotionally even from their family. They find it hard to find a common language with people, but at the same time they easily part and let go without regret.

They are great liars.

When you see a potentially "cold" person in front of you, be careful not to fall for his lies. What he says may be just part of the manipulation he uses to gain control over people.

They may lie about very minor things, such as how their day went or what school they went to. But this does not mean that they are not capable of big lies.

Those with a cold heart can lie about past relationships or about their own " friends."

"Once you recognize the lies in the stories told, you'll be surprised that you ever believed these absurd, fake facts," says divorce recovery expert Cindy Holbrook.

Conclusion

Rapprochement with the owners of a cold heart can turn into big trouble for you. However, by knowing their signs, you will always be one step ahead. Do not be afraid to weed out indifferent and cold people from your life, because you certainly deserve a much warmer and more caring attitude.

More and more people, especially teenagers, are wondering how to become insensitive. Emotions are good. But not always. Life is unpredictable, it has ups and downs. And just the last of some especially emotional, kind, sympathetic and vulnerable people can seriously injure. If this happens regularly, you have to somehow abstract from the situation. And the question of how to become cold and insensitive comes to the mind of many. Just for the sake of not feeling pain anymore, not feeling the sorrows of failure. This is not the best solution, but in some situations the only way to escape. There are several tips that will definitely help you bring this idea to life.

Not everything is given

Just take your time. To begin with, think carefully about whether you want to rid yourself of emotions. Often it is more difficult to restore them than to eliminate them. By the way, not everyone can be insensitive.

Remember: few people have a true lack of emotions. Usually cruelty and composure are in the blood of a person. If there is a predisposition to these traits, then it will be easy and simple to solve our today's question. Otherwise, you will literally step on the throat of yourself and your inner structure.

Responsive kind people often think about how to become. And unforgiving. They will have to work very seriously on themselves. As practice shows, such are not able to really bring the idea to life. Except for a while. And then the feeling of guilt will sit inside. And true composure does not allow this.

Return to suffering

The first rule that can only help is to return to your suffering. Each person has some memories that bring pain or great resentment. It is to them that you will have to turn in the subconscious every time you are covered with positive emotions.

Usually at first it becomes very painful to experience negative moments. But at one point, this feeling disappears. And you don't care. Once you achieve this, it will be easier to solve the problem.

Try to remember all the negative events at once, en masse. Only in this way can you fully answer how to become insensitive. Yes, it may seem impossible, but with continued practice, you will notice a clear change in your behavior.

Lack of attention

The second rule is for nothing. Neither for people, nor for any events. Forget holidays, relatives, friends. Sometimes it is enough not to congratulate someone on their birthday once, so that they begin to consider you cold-blooded.

Yes, it will be difficult in the beginning. Especially when yours comes or some bright, pleasing, emotional event occurs. But you should not just ignore it, but meet it with complete indifference. Until you learn this, you won’t be able to become. After all, such people usually rarely show their emotions. Most often, their faces show complete indifference to everything.

Let's say "no" to help

A very interesting fact is that refusing to help someone instantly makes you a cruel bad person. Even if you really are simply unable to help or refuse for some specific, justified reasons. So, in order to figure out how to become an insensitive creature, you just need to not help people. That is, in general. Absolutely. Even on trifles. Remember: helping is very disadvantageous. Especially close people. They often demand something from you that will harm you. In addition, helping in practice awakens positive emotions. And this is of no use to you. After all, the main task that faces you is to completely get rid of emotions.

Please note that you must always refuse. And even if help is vital. Initially, this will not be easy. But over time you will get used to it. By the way, very often such a step makes life much easier. You will not do anything to the detriment of yourself.

mirroring

Are you often offended? Or maybe you just succumb to eternal emotional tyranny? Gain strength and courage ... and mirror your behavior. Do not be afraid to hurt your offenders. However, like all other people.

What does it mean? Treat your offenders exactly as they treat you. It doesn't matter who it is - a relative or just a friend / acquaintance. Take an example from people who hurt you. They are usually just perfect. After all, the ability to hurt a nerve is a good skill for a cruel person.

What about those who communicate with you with kindness and friendliness? Mirroring will not help here - this is a charge of extra positive emotions. Therefore, just take an example from your offenders: try to distance yourself from such personalities, constantly tell them something offensive, unpleasant. Over time, this will become a habit.

Full control

And here is the golden rule that you should always remember. If you want to understand how to become insensitive, you need to take control of all your emotions. How exactly to do it? There is no exact algorithm here. Just a few tips.

To get started, choose a profession that makes you suppress emotions. For example, a doctor. There they will be able to teach you some things that will help bring our today's idea to life.

Also a good way to control emotions are a variety of psychological courses and trainings. They are called - "Emotions under control." True, they are more taught to restrain the negative. But similar principles can be interpreted for positive sensations.

In the end, on your own try to keep all the good things inside and suppress them. Think: "Everything is bad." And repeat this to yourself constantly. Even if everything is just great. Sooner or later you will notice, In this case, it remains only to always keep a stony, unemotional face when communicating.

It's all. Just before you become cruel and insensitive, think carefully about whether you really need it. Getting your emotions back will be harder. Pain is always easier to endure than to drown out.

composure - it is self-control, absence of fear, confidence in oneself and in one's actions; the ability not to panic in a tense situation and calmly analyze the causes of the problem, find a way out of a difficult situation. A cold-blooded person is non-confrontational, he restrains his emotions and maintains his composure. This is a very valuable character trait, without which, at times, one cannot do in difficult life situations.

Composure and indifference are special character traits

Another similar quality is indifference. During the time when emotional man goes into hysterics or is depressed, the indifferent enjoys a carefree life and believes that feelings should not be wasted on mere trifles. And in this case, reason prevails over prejudices.

We all sometimes face difficult situations for one reason or another, because of which we cannot always control ourselves. Even the most calm and balanced a person can be pissed off. Therefore, it is very important to be able to restrain your emotions and be cold-blooded. A person is capable of experiencing both positive and negative feelings. If good emotions bring us great joy, then the negative in the same volume fills life with anxiety, fear and irritability. Sometimes, you can’t cope with them, they unsettle. And it is worth considering how to avoid the consequences of all these negative feelings.

Fear is the biggest reason for not having control over bad emotions. From a young age, this feeling lives in us, grows with us, develops. Sometimes it seems to us that he is not there, but he is always in service; he is in our minds, directs us, sends signals (irritants) and often, instead of common sense, the instinct of self-preservation works in us. It digs its roots into the nervous system and destroys it, a person becomes a victim of stress, nervous breakdowns and subsequently chronic diseases.

Coolness and indifference are the enemies of fear, thanks to these qualities, a person dominates fear and controls feelings, which affects relationships with others, the result of one's own undertakings, the mood and harmony of the soul.

How to become cold-blooded?

There is certainly an answer to this question. To become cold-blooded, you need to take the advice of psychologists.

Necessary:

• establish inner balance;
• learn endurance;
• visualize;
• do not dramatize;
• be distracted;
• be indifferent to the problem.

In order to establish inner balance, you need to move away from your fear, so you can remain stable and come to the realization of the problem. For example, if you forget that there is fear before any important event, then having calmed down, one can realize that the event is necessary, thereby inevitable. Breathing should be monitored, it should be even, this will give calmness. You need to understand that problems are tasks that need to be solved; as in school mathematics: concentrating. Of course, it is not easy, but this is how you need to educate yourself in order to become cold-blooded.

To be enduring, you need see the root of the problem, for this you need to fence off all unnecessary. Consciousness will be deprived of all interfering barriers, which will help to make the right decisions, understanding the problem from the depths. In this case, it is important to show such qualities as sympathy and mutual understanding, they are the main helpers, ready for a long exposure in the most problematic situation.

To visualize means to visualize difficult life circumstances like a web that needs to be untangled. Nervous, it will be difficult to do this, she will get even more confused, and in a calm environment, the result will be completely different. Having presented the problem in the form of a web, understanding will come to calm down.

To become cold-blooded need to think about the situation. and not worry. Put it on the shelves, weigh all the pros and cons, and decide on the decision. Do not rush and tell everyone about what is bothering you. It is better to be alone and think about the problem, because the first information may be incorrect, especially on emotions.

Do not dramatize and exaggerate the problem. Necessary soberly assess the situation, follow your thoughts. They can take you in the wrong direction. In order to prevent this from happening, you should force yourself to think that the problems are trifling and that it will not be difficult to solve them.

It is important to take your mind off the problem. Watch your favorite comedy that can make you laugh. Laughter is the best medicine. This will help you stay calm and relaxed.

How to be indifferent?

• Get away from yourself.
• Change behavior.

You need to step away from yourself. Each person has his own views on life, personal opinion, but in difficult moments it's better not to be yourself, but to become a witness to the situation and look at it from the outside, this will be the first step towards indifference. You need to imagine that life is a movie, interesting, exciting, and you should not really live the plot of this movie. It is better to determine in which genre the film is, the characters of the characters, the essence of what is happening, try to predict what will happen next. Thanks to this detachment, you will not worry so much about yourself and accumulate internal anxiety, but will see a way out of the situation.

It is important to control your behavior and body, because in a strong desire to become indifferent, it is unlikely that anything will work if you do not relax. Behave in a neutral manner, do not spend money on unnecessary emotions, avoid provocations that can affect your emotions. Treat all people as if they were strangers. Talk to family and friends as if you do not know them, this will undoubtedly make you feel confident, be decent, talk tactfully and naturally.

But still gotta stay open, and perceive the situation, otherwise there is a risk of becoming a closed and aloof pessimist. Being indifferent is not difficult: carelessness, avoiding problems, etc. The main thing is not to get carried away and know the measure of your feelings, including indifference.

As you can see, becoming cold-blooded is not so difficult. Be prudent!