Human masks psychology. Masks

Last year I already wrote the article "". We really don't know all of the other person's thoughts. Today I decided to continue the topic only from the other side ...
We all wear different masks.We wear them in front of our colleagues, managers, subordinates. We wear them in front of our family, our partner. We shoot them only in front of ourselves, and even then not always.

So why do we need masks?

More often than not, we have to wear masks because of society. Indeed, depending on the place in which we live and what we do in life, we have to play different roles. We can assume the role of a child, student, employee, employer, teacher, mentor, husband, friend, and many others. For example, if at work you are a strict boss, when you come home,has torebuild so as not to behave the same way with family. Or if you are a child, then you behave in one way with your parents, and quite differently with friends.

People also strive to be better than they really are, so they wear masks when meeting new people or meeting friends. Most likely mWe are afraid that when we show us the real ones, they may not like us, be rejected by them. We try to fit into the environment, to become a part of society.

However, more often than not, masks help us hide our state of mind, mood and thoughts.We do not want to burden our relatives with our problems and worries, we do not want to tell everyone about our depression, about our disappointment in life, about our fears. Many people will not understand all this anyway. In general, it is very difficult to understand another person if you do not experience the same emotions as he does. And in most cases, other people have their own problems and concerns, so they do not have the strength and ability to listen to us.

Nobody knows how a person really feels, he can smile and have fun when meeting friends or family. He can joke and answer all questions that everything is gorgeous. But he is honest only with himself. You know, it's like clothes .. You come home, take off your shoes, change clothes and .. take off your mask. Only at home can a person tell loved ones about experiences, problems, and even then not always, but at night, when he is alone, he can look out the window and cry.There may be enough reasons for sadness: unrequited love, at school or the loss of loved ones ...

We all wear different masks. We all behave differently depending on the circumstances and environment. We play different social roles and pretend. But the worst thing here is not to take off the mask in front of you. Look in the mirror and deceive yourself. It means you have lost your real self ... Therefore, do not be ashamed of yourself, be frank with yourself and with loved ones. Be real. Good luck!

There are few people on Earth who would not wear "masks". There is one for each case. Depending on the situation, we put on one or another mask. It is convenient for us…. or profitable. Or it can be convenient and profitable at the same time. What do you associate the word "mask" with? In the ordinary sense, it is a theatrical or carnival attribute that is worn on the face so that it is impossible to recognize a person. But in a symbolic sense? Why do people wear "masks"? And for each case, a person has his own mask. And there are so many of them that sometimes it is difficult for a person to see himself behind them.

“Mask” is something artificial, a way of human behavior in a given situation, which hides his true essence. Why does a person need to use "masks"? What is the point of this?

I am very lucky in my life to meet wonderful people. In the word "wonderful" I mean both universal human virtues and a high level of consciousness, when a person tries to break out of the framework of materiality and begins to think about spiritual things and the True Meaning of Life.

The Meaning of Life ... Let's return to the question of "masks". What is the point of using them in your life?

The answer suggests itself - behind masks we hide our "face", that "face" that we do not want to show to others. That other "face", or maybe not one, that we do not like, that scares us. It is ugly and we do not want to see it! But why do we dislike this face so much? Where did we get the opinion that this face is obscene and should be hidden? Anyone's opinion? Someone's assessment?

Many years ago I came across a collection of poems by the Kiev poet Valery Vinarsky. Previously, this man could often be seen on Yaroslavov Val Street. He sat on the sidewalk with a guitar and sang his songs. The collection of his poetry, which fell into my hands, was signed by the author. And addressed to Xenia, but not to me - another. Maybe it’s an accident ... but in our World, far from everything is accidental ... Even, everything is far from being an accident. Since then, it has been on my bookshelf.

In the book by Valery Vinarsky, I read the lines that still sound in my soul:

The difference between black and white

It is very easy to see to your eyes

but how often it gets in the way

With this case, we have someone's opinion.

These lines evoke thoughts about evaluations-judgments, which are very rooted in society in the form of public opinion, stereotypes, moral rules and norms. Society cannot do without it. But all this should work for the good. And what if “moralizing” takes the form of absolute directives and gets in the way of sincere human relations? Is it good or bad? Each person is free to determine for himself what is good for him and what is bad. Freedom of choice also presupposes taking responsibility for the choice made - a high spiritual responsibility. And when a person is not afraid to take on such responsibility, there is a feeling of INTERNAL freedom. This is a sensation incomparable with anything else. And it is based on unlimited spiritual potential. Then there is no need to put on "masks" and hide your "face" behind them.

Do you understand that everyone has a desire to be who they would like or for others to think that they are?
In fact, most of the people you will ever meet are not who they say they are. Of course, a person speaks his name truthfully 90% of the time, but the character he shows is just a facade. People have developed a variety of masks to hide the true emotions within.

Masks are designed to hide what sits inside - a real animal, often something too shameful, and therefore hidden from others. If a person reveals this truth, taking off his mask, exposes it to the public, then in the overwhelming majority of cases it can disgrace us. Unfortunately, those people who wear masks, myself and many others, have learned to see through them.

In this article, I am going to show you what is behind each mask and what it is for.

Most of us are somewhat hypocrites to some extent. Masks are actually a kind of psychological defense mechanism that is designed with the sole purpose of making life easier for a person. People wear masks for some kind of screen, necessary for its acceptance by society. After receiving a refusal from society, a person can have very serious consequences, ranging from contempt to a complete outcast.

But we have become so addicted to the masks we use that we hide our true faces, even when we don't really need to. With that said, I want to tell you about the true motives of the people who wear the masks and you probably met them. After reading, you may recognize many of those with whom you communicate. So, let's begin:

1. Unpleasant
It is easy to define them by their boorish inclinations, first to speak, then to think. These people rarely hide what. They mistakenly believe that the louder they speak (or the more unpleasant they behave), the less likely you are to see how lonely, cowardly and cowardly they really are. The loudest people are usually the weakest. This is similar to how some animals (for example, some species of lizards and birds) change their appearance in order to scare off potential predators.

2. Pretty cute
People who are very physically very attractive and use these qualities for their own selfish purposes, at all stages of life. Since they noticed from childhood that their appearance brings them 80% positive results, they, as a rule, do not develop any other qualities of their personality and thus remain with an empty head (in the case of girls, it is customary to say "blonde") or hopelessly arrogant (in the case of boys). And when you refuse them, it hits them a crushing blow, because they are not used to hearing the word "no". When you meet such people, you can use them as an opportunity for practice to refuse and say no. Thus, you will make real men and women out of them.

3. Pious
These people, as a rule, hide two things behind a mask:

The fact is that they often have many more sins than they show.
Also, the fact that they are actually not so bright (even if they show and hint at it with their whole appearance).
These people think that everything is either black or white. They believe that good and evil are simple terms for definition and life. However, these people are generally no smarter than most, and they often use the mysticism of religion to hide the fact that they are actually ignorant. This is easy for them, because religion does not follow the rules of logic. When meeting with such, you should ask only difficult questions. And you will immediately see that they begin to wriggle, because their "rules" of life do not encompass anything really valuable.

4. Legalists
People who always use strict rules to win an argument or defend themselves are unable to think for themselves. They are afraid of people who are smarter than them. This is because the smart one, as it were, challenges them, he thinks "outside their rules" - and this rips out their comfort zones. You will find many good people who follow these rules. These people tend to rely on other people to create rules for them to follow. Without rules, they are hopeless. They feel more comfortable as a follower than a leader. They want to be told what to do and what to think.

5. Dramatic actor / actress
People who like to overreact to everything, this is the most deceiving mask. These people can become professional actors if they want to. In fact, many professional actors and actresses are the default. They are especially dangerous because they can evoke emotions on command. Although most of these people are women, there are occasional men who also fit the bill. These people use for their own purposes, various antics, shouting, etc. - mainly because they like to be in the spotlight. They overreact to everything when they want others to take them more seriously than necessary. Advice not to pay attention to them, for them this is the greatest insult.

6. "Hidden Pervert"
There are two types of shy people:

The ones that are really, really shy
And those for whom it is temporary "shyness".
The second wears a mask of shyness to hide the fact that they are a "pervert." These people like to be rude, unpleasant, wild - especially in the bedroom, but they do not want anyone to know about it. Showy shyness helps them hide the fact that almost everything they have no taboos. The “shy” facade helps them to filter out those who will accept the way they are. Behind this mask, they hide an innate desire to be a dirty whore, they like it to be hot, rude, etc. Advice: Use alcohol. Shyness disappears like the first snow after the first glass. Repeat as needed.

7. Cactus
People who are cynical in life, constantly speak with sarcasm or caustic words in their statements about everything, but in fact they are very lonely, unhappy people. To hide this fact, they spoil the emotional value of everything with words so that others around them also feel like them. Tip: Ignore them when they open their mouths for nasty things. Let them believe that what they say is important.

8. Passive-aggressive
These are people who are very secretive, when they want about their problems, they prefer to overlap you with hints from all sides in order to express their displeasure. The bottom line is that these people try to avoid open confrontation as much as possible. This is because they are actually cowards who want to fight but have neither the will nor the strength to do it. They are easy to scare. As such, they pursue evasive methods of warfare, while being very correct and unbearably polite. They rely on the fact that you, respecting their boundaries, will not conflict. Deprive them of this opportunity. Start confronting them. If they say it's a silly and childish war, just remind them who started it. Tip: Let them know that you will openly confront them, thereby depriving them of power. It will drive them crazy.

9. A person who wants to be like his idol
These people are the easiest to find. They are always surrounded by objects from the life of the one whom they worship. They sacrifice their individuality, trying to be like their idol. And hence the problem of copycats: They have no self-esteem. They are loyal only to those whom they perceive as a valuable source of spiritual uplift - therefore their loyalty is conditional. To tell such a person that he is a "copycat" hurts them very much, this is the most painful place. But why stop? Sow seeds of doubt. That he is not so good, etc .. and the whole essence of it is revealed.

10. Troubled Comedian
As strange as it may sound, these are people who like to make others laugh (especially at the expense of those who are around) thereby trying to redirect attention away from their own insecurities. They hope that when it's funny, the attention of others is occupied, which reduces the likelihood that their shortcomings (mostly imaginary) will go unnoticed. Sometimes this is due to the fact that they feel stiff and nervous. They reason to themselves that if everyone laughs, then this will solve the issue in any critical situation. Although there are often situations that do not require humor. These people are relatively harmless. Tip: make friends and give them confidence. And for those who use their humor to offend others, use a shift in focus on themselves. And keeping the attention focused on them will kill their self-confidence. They will explode under the weight of their own insecurity. Comedians, as a rule, have the right hemisphere of the brain and hence the "fuzzy logic", so it is easy to kill their charisma.

11. "Guru"
They just know a lot about little things, about many scattered facts - but rarely their information has any useful meaning. They flaunt their expert opinions to earn the respect of their peers. This usually works because the environment is usually people who are at the same level. These people can be called one-eyed people who live in the land of the blind. Since they are good at using various knowledge, then, as a rule, they are always one step ahead. They are not afraid of getting caught because, again, their audience is the one that rarely delves deeply into the subject matter. The "gurus" stay that way until someone smart enough to see through their bluff comes along. That's when the real coward comes out. The only weapon they have is self-confidence. If you prove in public that you know the opposite of his claims that he is a liar, then shame and guilt will crush him.

12. The boastful
People who like to show off, this mask is very insecure. They are usually so used to bragging rights that there comes a time in their lives when this mask becomes second nature. Most of their bragging rights are false - these lies are meant to cover those flaws in life for which they are terribly ashamed. Boastful people, in fact, are quite a pity. When communicating with them, there is no end to the fact that the stories that you hear are not invented by them now. If you want to have fun with them, openly say that they came up with everything. Say openly that you know that they are lying, without proving anything. You will immediately see on the bouncer's face how he starts to wriggle, change his story, etc.

13. Intelligent mask
Intellectuals are actually very shy people, so they hide behind their minds. Intellectuals are usually terribly afraid of rejection. Therefore, they do not like risk and are often in the hope of being invited on a date, rather than playing the role of initiator. Often these people like to ask rhetorical questions in an attempt to confuse their interlocutor in an argument. Just remind them that it is pointless to ask a question they are not prepared to answer. This will cause minor shock and awe and help bring the discussion to an end.

14. Bureaucratic
People who like to complicate matters are actually very insignificant people who are trying to succeed and gain self-esteem, creating red tape, out of nothing. Bureaucratic people are unsure of their accomplishments in life. This is because, deep down, they know their relevance is temporary and subject to change. Officials often think that value is directly proportional to size and complexity - which is misleading, and this is what determines their very inappropriate behavior. Telling them no, clearly and without objection, will make them feel powerless.

15. Your friends
Many of your friends have made friends with you just because you are of use to them. You should know that friendship is like a deal - it means that there is a relationship between receiving and giving. As soon as the intrinsic value decreases, the friendship ends. Even those friends who were with you in difficult times - they are friends because, and you give them the feeling that you will do the same. Nobody does anything for free.

Output
Now that you realize that most of you know have worn masks all this time, you can now determine the type of your mask yourself. Yes you! Your mask tells you what you are trying to hide. Which of these 15 masks is right for you? If you think you are not one of them, then you probably belong to more than one. Further, when you understand the nature of your own mask, you can meet new people and learn the nature of your fear. By knowing the nature of your fear, you will be able to figure out how to overcome it. After you do this, the minds of humanity are at your feet and you are the king of the world. (Psihiya.ru)

Psychological masks that we wear.

Have you ever wondered why completely different people can perceive you in exactly the same way? Why is it that people of different ages, gender or social status have similar reactions when they see you? But this is by no means accidental. We ourselves program people to have a certain attitude towards themselves. And we do it with the help of our face, or rather its expression. We are so used to wearing different psychological masks on our face that sometimes we don't even notice it. But they are very well noticed by others, and behave in accordance with the message we are addressing them with the help of our face. It's good if our facial expressions evoke a positive response from those around us. But this is not always the case ...

Our face is a visiting card of our personality. Only once having looked at a person, we can quite accurately determine what mood he is in, what his state of health is, how successful he is, not to mention his age and external attractiveness. This is how we form the first impression of a person, which, as you know, is formed during just the first 30 seconds of communication. At what, first of all, we are trying to answer the question: What kind of person is in front of us? What is he? And immediately, based on individual features of his appearance, we form our opinion, referring a person to some of the internal categories: a shirt-guy, a sloven, a flirt, a bandit, a nurse, a jolly, a nerd, a lady vamp, etc., etc. ...

By doing this in relation to other people, and doing it automatically, almost unconsciously, for some reason we forget that others do the same with us. They also scan our face, come to a certain conclusion on our occasion, and build a further dialogue based on what they see and, accordingly, expect from a person. We always, whether we like it or not, send a clear request to those around us how to treat us and how to perceive us. That. we create a program by which we build our relationships with people, and ultimately our lives.

The worst thing is that we are not always aware of this program. And if we are aware of its presence, then we do not always correctly assess the degree of its influence on our life. It seems to us that we are not that gloomy at all, we have good reasons for the despondency written on our face, and these eyebrows make our face just cute, not at all causing pity to those around us. We tend to judge others harshly and ourselves much more leniently. But the rest are doing the same! So it turns out that we are looking for the reasons for negative attitudes towards ourselves in the ill will of others, while all of them (or most) lie in ourselves.

Therefore, I propose to look as objectively as possible at yourself, at your face and its expression, and understand what the main message it carries to others. Go to the mirror and take a close look at your face. What it is: cheerful or gloomy, angry or whiny, perky or sad. Try to relax your facial muscles as much as possible to see his true expression.

When we approach the mirror, we often involuntarily change the expression on our face, as if posing in front of ourselves. As a result, we see in the mirror not quite what others are used to seeing on our face. Try to relax as much as possible, not making faces at yourself, and not boring your reflection with a gaze, looking for flaws in your appearance. Try to cover the face as a whole to understand the overall impression it makes. See yourself as a stranger. What would you say about this person if you saw him for the first time?

If you are not 18 for a long time, then a mesh of small and not very wrinkles will tell you what expression is habitually "showing through" on your face. After all, wrinkles are formed when we often adopt the same facial expression. When wrinkles appear, our face turns into a more or less stable mask, i.e. in the guise that we present to the world. There can be many such masks, according to the mood and situation, but the main one is one. The rest are only superimposed on top of it. Let's take a look at what basic masks we wear with you.

Psychological masks:
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1. The main mask is the mask of our basic psychological trauma.

You and I live in a world where not everything and not always develops in the most favorable way for us. It so happens that very difficult events occur in our life, which we cannot fully cope with. As a result, a severe trauma arises in our psyche, which has a great impact on our life, often forcing us to rethink our values ​​and outlook on the world. This is a kind of psychological splinter that constantly reminds of itself, forcing us to protect the sore spot and avoid unnecessary movements. From time to time, it can fester, bringing us more and more pain. It poisons our lives, but we in no way dare to get rid of it, fearing new, even stronger pain. So we carry it in ourselves constantly. Sometimes we get so used to it that we can't even imagine how we would live without it.

Basic psychological traumas include: loss or prolonged absence of a loved one, humiliation and loss of status, psychological or physical violence, an accident or disaster, the collapse of ideals, rejection. Whatever it is, but this is such a strong experience that makes a person regroup around him, carefully protecting this sore spot. Experiencing a strong emotional shock, a person experiences it just as strongly at the physical level, forming powerful clamps at the body level. Naturally, this is reflected in his appearance, creating restrictions in the body and a mask on the face.

That. the trauma we have experienced continues to live in us, causing our face and body to change. Appearing on her face, she kind of appeals to those around her, demanding help and participation from them. But since we ourselves have long since come to terms with our trauma and the pain it causes, we can practically not be aware of it, then the reaction of those around us may not be clear to us, causing us rejection and even aggression. So it turns out that our face screams one thing, but we can evaluate ourselves in a completely different way.

This is the origin of such paradoxes as a strict boss with the expression on the face of an offended child or a respectable matron with a porcelain face and the naive eyes of a little girl. This happens because our body, under the influence of emotional stress, seems to freeze, retaining forever the same facial expression that reflects our traumatic experiences. Moreover, it remembers not only the emotion, but also the age at which it was experienced. That is why the faces of people who survived trauma in early childhood retain childhood features until the very old years.

This is how our psychotrauma manifests itself, creating various masks on our faces that we have to wear for the rest of our lives. They remain on our face regardless of our mood or physical well-being. Our current emotions seem to be superimposed on top of these basic masks, slightly adjusting them, but not being able to radically change them. So, a person can smile with his lips, but his eyes will remain sad, and the corners of his mouth often seem to be unable to rise up, creating a sad comma on his face.
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2. The mask of the basic attitude towards life.

It is somewhat similar to the previous one, but it is formed not as a result of some one-time negative experience, but as a reflection of our attitude to life and our own life history. This mask manifests itself gradually, reflecting the whole range of emotions characteristic of us, our idea of ​​ourselves and our place in this world, our expectations from others, our way of thinking and acting. This mask is able to change over time, acquiring more and more details, but its main features still remain unchanged, as well as our views on life.

It is this mask that most accurately reflects our true essence, those thoughts and emotions that prevail in us. So, an optimist will try to keep a cheerful expression on his face under any circumstances, while a pessimist, even in moments of stormy joy, will not be able to completely erase the usual expression of sadness. Observe those around you carefully, and you will see that some people seem to be constantly crying, others are always unhappy, and still others are contemptuously arrogant.

Clearly seeing these traits in others, we often do not notice their signs in ourselves. But on the other hand, our unconscious sees and notices them, perceiving facial expressions as a guide to action. Seeing by the reflection in the mirror that we are dissatisfied, it helpfully seeks out more and more reasons for dissatisfaction in our environment, and there are many such. As a result, we are even more strengthened in our perception of the surrounding reality, strengthening the corresponding emotion and its expression on the face. And so it turns out that our face, as a print, stores some kind of basic emotion that integrally reflects our basic attitude to life.
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3. Professional masks.

Being engaged in a certain activity for most of our life, whether we like it or not, we develop and develop in ourselves a number of traits characteristic of people of this profession. This is called occupational deformation. Naturally, these new features immediately find their expression on our face. Over time, this mask gets used to us so much that it becomes inseparable from ourselves.

The bad news is that we often transfer this mask and its characteristic behavior from professional activities to our personal lives. So the strict teacher continues to teach and build her household, and the surgeon maintains an impenetrable, concentrated expression on his face even in bed with his wife. As a result, these masks, designed at first to protect a person, to help him develop the correct line of conduct in his professional activity, begin to subjugate him.

A professional mask is terrible because under it a person loses his individuality, becomes just a representative of a certain category of people. But we know very well what a professional can and should not do. We hardly expect from an intelligent architect that he will jump along the corridor in a jump, and even a tall military man, carelessly picking flowers in the meadow, will seem rather strange to us. So, choosing a profession for ourselves, we inevitably impose restrictions on ourselves, developing some of our traits and neglecting others.

Therefore, if you want to remain a multifaceted personality, not limited to a certain set of traits and, on the contrary, do not want to transfer to your family the type of relationship that you have with your subordinates (or with your boss), learn to de-identify yourself with your professional mask. This can be done quite simply: it is enough to say several times the formula, which begins with the words I DO NOT ..., and then substitute some kind of characteristic. For example: I am not my body; I am not what I do; I am not what I feel; I am not what I have.

And after you've said all this, it's time to ask the question WHO am I?
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4. Borrowed masks.

Living among people, we, willingly or unwillingly, acquire the features of those with whom we constantly communicate. At the same time, not only the duration and intensity of this communication is important, but also the significance of this person for us. All of us in adolescence tried to imitate some idol, and when we were little, we repeated everything after our parents. So we learned new behaviors for ourselves, expanding our arsenal of communication. But even as we become fully adult and independent, we continue to copy those with whom we spend a significant part of our time. For some, the beloved boss becomes such a role model, some admire their best friend, while others see worthy examples on the TV screen.

But this kind of copying has its own danger. Indeed, together with the good, we can easily adopt the bad that a person has. And besides, trying on someone else's mask from day to day, we gradually and imperceptibly change, losing our individuality. We may well become just a pale copy of our idol, without reaching his heights. Therefore, imitation is good only at the first stages of entering some new role for oneself, but it must be able to be discarded in time, having developed a new line of behavior, different from the model adopted at the beginning.

Most often, we adopt, even without noticing it, some of the traits of our parents. This is how mom purses her lips when she is unhappy with something, and dad also rolls his eyes in a fit of anger. The stronger our connection with one of the parents, the more antics from his arsenal will pass to us. And even if we try to get rid of them by controlling our behavior and facial expression, at the moment of strong emotions these traits inevitably return to us, of course, if we have not managed to change them to some other model of behavior.

The grimaces of strong and charismatic people are also contagious. A strong person, against his will, attracts attention to himself, forcing him to reckon with himself, listen and look at himself. So we have already noted his habit of frowning and biting the tip of a pencil in moments of reflection. Therefore, next to a strong personality, you can often find people with a very similar facial expression.

Emotions experienced by a large number of people at the same time are also contagious. So, on the faces of the funeral parlors, it was as if eternal grief was frozen, as a reflection of what they observe almost every day at their workplace. That is why the expressions on the faces of the police are so often similar to those of the bandits with whom they constantly communicate. But the face of the wedding toastmaster is much more often illuminated by a cheerful smile, even when he is not at work.

That is why it is so important to surround yourself with the “right” people. Constantly rotating in the society of successful people, we acquire a piece of success for ourselves, and our manners and facial expressions become more calm and confident. Communicating with people who are devout (not fanatical), we ourselves become more tolerant, optimistic and benevolent, bringing spiritual light into our soul and illuminating our face with it. Constantly faced with happy married couples, we have much more chances to successfully build our relationship with the soul mate.

So, you and I have found out that the various psychological masks that we wear on our face are only a reflection of our inner world. But they are also able to influence us, subjugating our perception of the world. First, we put on these masks on ourselves, trying to try on a new role or defending ourselves from pain, and then we ourselves do not notice how these masks begin to rule our lives. To prevent this from happening, try to remain yourself in any situation. And we will talk about how to help yourself get rid of the mask in my next articles.